Adrian pauses for a second, his eyes hitting mine. Laney wraps her arm through his and I notice he relaxes into her a little, letting her support him. “Ash.”
The five of us all stare at him.
My body stiffens. “You’re not talking a name here, are you?” Faces are hard as hell, but I know that’s what he wants.
He shakes his head.
“It would be an honor, man. I’d love to do it for you, but it should be Leila. She has more experience and I can’t fuck something like that up.”
“You won’t. We’ll talk later.”
Christ he’s a good fucking guy. I’m so lucky my sister has him. Honored to call him my brother even though there’s no ring on Laney’s finger yet. I know one day there will be and even without it, he would be a brother to me. “We’ll talk.”
There’s a chiming sound and without looking, I know it’s Leila’s mom. Everyone quiets and we look over at her as she stands by the desk. “I know everyone isn’t here yet and we’re not officially starting but I wanted to take a minute to…” She pauses before her eyes land on my girlfriend. “Leila, come over here for a second.”
She doesn’t hesitate to go and then her mom looks at me. “You, too, Maddox.” Since the first day I’ve met them, they’ve treated me like family. They’ve showed us both love.
Leila and I stand on each side of her before she continues talking. “I wanted to thank you guys for coming to Leila and Maddox’s pre-opening. This shop isn’t only important to my kids.”
My stomach bottoms out as I look at her, and she smiles. “Both of my kids.”
A breath leaves my lungs. I’ve lost both my parents—one to death and one I can’t find it in myself to forgive. I’ve gained so much, though. It’s fucked up but it’s at this moment I realize everything is good. We’re all going to be good. I have regrets with my mom and I wish things had been different. But I’ll be okay. Leila has her family, who she loves. Things aren’t perfect with them, but they work hard to understand each other and they love each other regardless.
She has me too. Always, like I have her. Laney and Adrian have each other and Colt and Cheyenne… and I wonder. I’ve never in my life thought of shit like this but I can’t help but wonder if Colt’s mom, Cheyenne’s mom, and mine aren’t sitting up there somewhere, taking care of a little boy with Adrian’s eyes and looking down at us.
Leila looks at me and smiles before she grabs her mom’s hand, and I take the other.
“Reality Tattoo is important to all of us. It’s brought so many of us together. My daughter is so talented and I love that she can share her art with the world and with Maddox.”
Everyone claps and I smile, feeling like I never thought I would.
“I think it’s time to crack a bottle of wine!” Leila’s mom says.
“Or beer!” Leila adds, because I’m pretty sure most of us will be drinking that.
Everyone starts moving, grabbing what they want and going for the food but instead I go for Leila. She’s what I want. Her arms wrap around my neck; her hands thread through my hair as I tighten my fingers around her hips.
“Reality Tattoo. I like the sound of that… and the fact that it’s ours.”
“I love you. Even without this place, I’d have everything I want, because I have you.”
She grins. “Mmm. You make me want you when you talk sweet like that.” Her face goes serious now. “I love you too. You taught me love is worth it. I can’t wait to keep showing you how much of it I have for you.”
For the first time in so long I have a future to look forward to. One that I will fight like hell for, no matter what because that’s what you have to do in life.
Reality. It’s not living a lie like so many of the people we know have done. It’s not treating life like a game of charades or living behind any type of façade. Life is fucked up, it hurts, and it’s not always pretty, but damned if it can’t be beautiful too.
Deleted Scene from Chapter 7: Bee’s phone call with her mom: This scene takes place when Maddox comes to Masquerade and finds Bee upset. It’s the phone call that happened while he was gone which leads to them making love again.
Looking down at my sketch, I can’t help but smile. It’s good. Damn good. I’m confident in my abilities but it’s not often I think something like that. I don’t even know what it’s for—if I’ll ever use it for anything—but I love it.
I’m still smiling when my phone rings. After tucking the drawing away, I answer with a, “Hello.”
“Leila. Hi. I didn’t expect you to answer.”
Without even meaning to, she just dealt me two blows in one shot. Bee… My name is Bee. Which of course I can’t say because technically it’s not. After all this time, I should be able to be Leila by now. The fact that I can’t feels like a spoon, digging out the happiness I felt while drawing.
And the second blow is knowing that I’m such a crappy daughter she didn’t expect me to answer. Yet, she’s such a good mom that she still calls.
“Sorry.” This is always how it goes with us. I don’t know if she knows it or if I’m crazy for feeling it. When I talk to her, I automatically feel like I’m doing something wrong. “I’ve been busy.”
“How are things going at Masquerade?” she asks.
“Okay, I guess. Could be better but it takes a while to get off the ground.”
Mom sighs. “I know you don’t want to hear this but it would be irresponsible not to talk about it. I know you want this, but just remember Masquerade might not work out. Odds are it won’t. It’s important to have something to fall back on.”
Would it be too much for her to have some faith in me? If it were my sister, she would.
“Why did you help me if you don’t believe in me?”
“That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry if it came off like that.” Mom sighs. “Let’s not do this. I called with good news! Your sister’s boyfriend proposed! I wasn’t surprised when she told me. He’s such a sweet boy. They’ll finish school first, of course. They both know it’s the most important thing.” It’s not fair but all I hear is that that’s why Masquerade will fail. I didn’t do the right thing—the important thing. I never do. You’d think by now I would be used to it but damn, there’s part of me that wishes for once I wasn’t different. That I could have still been the perfect Coral for Rex and Melody and then been the perfect Leila for my real parents too.
Mom keeps going after that. She tells me my sister is on her way to making top of the class and how proud they are of her.
She wants to be a lawyer and I’m a tattoo artist. Only a slight difference there.
The longer she talks, the emptier I feel inside. Then the angrier I get because this is me and I want to be—no, I am—proud of who I am.
The more she talks, the harder it becomes until I can’t stop myself from saying I have to go.
Mom sighs. “Okay, sweetie. It was good talking to you. I hope… I hope you’ll answer the next time I call. The wedding isn’t for a while but there are so many plans to make! I know it’s not your thing but it would mean a lot to have you involved.”
I never said it wasn’t my thing. She’s my sister; of course I’ll help.
Even though I don’t know if she means it like that, it hits me as another way I’ve failed.
I hate the tears that pool in my eyes.
“I will.”
“It’s important.”
“I said I will.”
“I know… I’m sorry. You’re right.”
But I’m not. She’s much better than me for being the type to apologize to smooth things over.
When we get off the phone, Masquerade isn’t the place where I just felt happy. It’s something to hold me over until I discover my real career. It’s not important.
It makes me nauseous to think like that. The place is empty. No clients.
Odds are it will fail.