Apparently serious, the Praetorian cornicularius, the chief secretary’s most recently co-opted member, asked where the freedman acquired his almond fancies. For once, the urbane Abascantus was thrown. He had no idea. A man of his status had probably never bought anything from a street stall or shop; it was doubtful if he even carried cash on him. He managed to mutter something about the work of palace pastry chefs. Still, Clodianus had wrong-footed him; the Guard had slyly established his own credentials as a true citizen of Rome. Abascantus lived remotely; the cornicularius was a regular in the Street of Patisserie Makers. Wherever that was.
The chief secretary had perhaps presupposed that a Praetorian would wolf food down with disgraceful manners, but Clodianus held a pastry daintily between one finger and thumb, while he talked good sense about anonymous letters: ‘Composed with the left hand to disguise the writing. I used to wonder why these people don’t just dictate their secret note to a slave — but of course if they do, then a slave knows.’
‘Do we take them seriously?’
‘We do. Such letters must always be scanned very carefully. I read this horrible batch you circulated, and while I am open to other opinions — ’ The Guard made a graceful gesture with his tea bowl (though he did not pause to let other committee members interrupt) ‘to me these are all low grade. A mix of genuine mental illness and crackpot idealism: nothing that I anticipate will end in a serious attempt. Solo efforts, scribbled by loners in garrets, people who will never in reality emerge from their hidey-holes.’
‘You cannot detect organisation?’ asked Abascantus, to demonstrate his grasp of the issue.
‘No, although you clearly understand that is what we have to fear. But nothing suggests a plot. If we trace these senders, they can be dealt with in the usual way.’ Nobody wanted to ask what that was.
Someone did risk enquiring what would happen in practice if a deranged loner turned up with a weapon outside Domitian’s audience room.
Clodianus replied patiently. ‘As I’m sure you know, Vespasian made a public point of ending the tradition that visitors were checked for swords.’ The others all tried to look well informed. ‘Well, don’t believe everything you read in the Daily Gazette. The new ruling was meant to end senators having to endure the indignity of a search. Old Vespasian had had it done to him and he loathed the experience. But believe me, the Guards frisk everybody else. We carry swords, but otherwise, not so much as a pocket fruit-knife passes in. Even attendants are forbidden arms.’
‘Have I not seen Parthenius with a weapon?’ sniped Abascantus.
‘The bedchamber man?’ Clodianus smiled. ‘Yes, Domitian gave him a special dispensation. It makes the favoured Parthenius feel like a big meatball, I’m sure. Last time I looked, he had a bit of a toy in that fancy scabbard. I assume we discount Parthenius as an assassin?’ he threw back.
Abascantus assented primly. ‘Parthenius is one of the Emperor’s most trusted servants.’ The Guard had a shadow of a grin, as if he was thinking, Top of my suspects list, then!
Clodianus continued his assessment of the most recent death threats, down-to-earth yet never disrespectful. Eventually Abascantus spotted what he had been up to. By a sleight of hand while he was talking, the hungry cornicularius had whisked all the nibbles his way and cleared the platter.
Even though they constantly lost out to him on refreshments, other members soon came to regard this Clodianus as their rock. He brought commonsense and clarity to what could all have been rather hysterical. Abascantus preened himself on his sound choice. (He overlooked the fact that his co-optee had been put forward in the first place by the Prefect, Casperius Aelianus.)
Once during a discussion, Abascantus caught a fly, crushing it between two fingers in mid air. It was a sign, should one be needed, of how sharp the chief secretary was. Nothing wrong with his reactions. Nothing squeamish there. As the freedman wiped his fingers clean on a napkin, he noticed the Praetorian shot him a fast gleam of admiration, the way someone would indicate ‘ Good catch! ’ on the move, while flinging beanbags at the gym. Even so, Abascantus always had a feeling that Vinius Clodianus viewed these proceedings with some sly undercurrent of satire.
For a long time that fly being caught was the most exciting thing that happened at their meetings.
31
It was comparatively quiet, the year many would call the Reign of Terror. Maybe that very quietness increased the fear. Nobody knew what was happening.
What’s he up to?
Who knows?
Rumours were everywhere.
Nonetheless, for domestic slaves buying leeks at a stall, for market-gardeners, for young men wrestling in a gymnasium, for toothless old folk dreaming in the sun, for small children trying to keep awake on uncomfortable outdoor benches while primary school teachers drearily intoned alphabets — and for their bored teachers — or for matrons having their hair dressed, most of the time nothing special happened. People who kept diaries would have found them dull reading afterwards.
No one with any sense did write a diary, in case it was ever held against them.
You never knew. That was the problem: doubt that festered and smelt like unnoticed spilt milk, all of the time. Everyone was clenching their buttocks in a permanent state of anxiety and the only people who did well out of that were apothecaries who sold greasy haemorrhoid ointments from discreet little booths down suburban side streets. For body-slaves who had to apply these suppositories to the inflamed rear ends of groaning masters, it was not such good news.
A good masseur could make a pile from fees and tips. Uncertain times caused psychosomatic bad backs. Hylus, the top masseur at the public baths that Vinius Clodianus liked, declared that an impacted disc was the signature symptom of political gloom.
Vinius had no problems with his spine; Hylus put this down to regular sex. Vinius smiled mysteriously so Hylus took that as affirmative. He knew when a client was much happier these days.
Booksellers were having a hard time. Statius had published his Thebeid two years earlier and it sank like a stone. (Not even the frankest critics told him that was because even as epics go, it was awful.) The first three books of his Silvae were now on sale, his occasional poetry. That little scroll struggled too, but then most of his friends and many members of the public had already heard him read the pieces. ‘The New Bath House of Claudius Etruscus’ held little interest for anyone except Claudius Etruscus, especially since the show-off freedman was not inviting the sweaty Roman public to enjoy his marble plunge pool and silver pipes, only his elite friends — the ones who had already sat through the poem at far too many dinner parties. Otherwise, Rutilius Gallicus was now not even old news but a forgotten man, and what was the point in praising his recovery from the nervous breakdown when he had since died of something else? An epitaph for an arena lion was limp; sceptics said the poem was so short, and weak, because Statius had shied away from saying this was the enormous lion killed by the unfortunate Glabrio when Domitian tried to polish him off. Statius chickened out. Still, he would not waste a poem he had started, so here were thirty rather soppy lines to the late Leo…
His friends expected free scrolls with florid inscriptions. Lucilla did buy one; she was thoughtful and supportive. Even she decided Statius was unworldly. When Gaius found the scroll hidden under a cushion, Lucilla was prepared to admit that, on being shown stylised verses entitled Forest Leaves, most readers would exit quickly from the bookshop and splurge their cash on street food.