“You don't have to explain,” I assure him, bumping my body with his. “It's cool. I get it. Life happens to the best of us.”
He smiles softly at me.
(No. We haven't hooked up. Haven't even thought about it. Didn't you hear me tell you I tell people I'm in a relationship still? Just because he's gone, doesn't mean he's gone. To no surprise though, Trey has been a pretty great friend. Easy to talk to. Easy to be around. Most importantly, easy to ask when you get lost on campus. Hey! It's a big campus!)
The thoughts of Merrick have me toying with my engagement ring, which has become an unconscious, as much as conscious, habit every time I think about him. Trey starts asking me about my choice on the final semester art project during our cross of the campus to where the art work is waiting to be seen. While I half-heartedly answer, I try to keep as much of my mind there as I can, instead of on the last time I saw a sidewalk mural.
(Do you remember?)
“There!” Trey yanks me by the hand. “Look!”
On the ground is painted the most gorgeous blue swirled pond with beautiful bright yellow, bright orange, and bright red ducks painted in it. The sight causes a gasp out of me that I try to catch with my hand.
“Crazy right?” Trey adjusts his shoulder bag. “It's got a whole Starry Night thing to it.”
“Van Gogh,” I whisper out trying not to cry. “It's...it's got a Van Gogh style.” Feeling panic settle in, I start to back up, and insist, “I um...I really have to go Trey. I completely forgot I was supposed to be meeting Ray Ray for um...coffee.”
(You're damn right I'm full of shit. But telling me after seeing something like that you wouldn't run too?)
He barely gets out bye before I have turned around and am rushing towards the parking lot. Shaking away the thoughts that are trying to strangle me, the impossible possibilities that are trying to rattle, I pick up speed until I'm stopped sharply by a sight that I can't fathom.
“Looks like you've seen a ghost...” he says slowly before smiling so wide that he rips out my heart with it.
(No. Fucking. Way.)
Merrick
(You probably want a few answers too huh? Jovi first. Well, assuming she's willing to listen. Hey! Hey! Don't use that tone with me...)
I slide my hands into my jeans and simply stare at the vision I've only been able to observe from afar for months.
(Fuck, it's felt like lifetimes.)
On a low whisper I sigh, “Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting to be this close to you?”
Jovi's mouth creaks open, but shuts immediately. Watching her body shake I realize that maybe there was a better way to do this.
(Maybe I should've called first?)
“Jovi-” Without waiting for me to finish, she slaps me across the face.
(Fuck! Being hit with a ring hand is no joke.)
“You....bastard...” She growls under her breath. “You...monster..” Storming past me, she picks up her pace still mumbling, but I'm not sure what.
(I'm not sure I wanna know what.)
“Jovi, wait! Wait!” I call out behind her, jogging to get in front. As soon as I do, I beg again, “Wait! Let me explain!”
“I don't wanna fucking hear it,” she chokes, tears clearly doing their best not to leak out.
“You do,” I plead and grab her arms to stop her in place. “Hear me out. Please.”
In a sharp whisper she shoves me away. “You died!”
“I-”
“I watched you die!”
“Give me a few minutes to explain everything. I'm begging you.” My desperation seems to be weighing her down. “Take me to the ducks.” Her eyebrows lift. “Still haven't seen 'em. Take me, please?”
“I shouldn't...”
Bravely I push and whisper, “Please.”
Jovi presses her lips together clearly losing whatever internal debate she is suffering. On a sharp breath she turns around. “Come on. They're this way...”
(Oh thank God. I don't think I could've handled her not at least giving me a second to explain. Trust me. I didn't want to keep this from her any more than she wanted to be out of the loop, but I did what I had to do. Look, I'll explain in a few. Probably apologize to you too. Chill out.)
The two of us walk around to the pond I've seen her sit by and study. I've seen her laugh beside with her new friends. Even get hit on by some of them.
(Do you have any idea how fucking hard it was not to storm over here and beat the fuck out of them?)
We settle on a bench, probably both thankful the area is deserted. I've walked around enough times to know more or less the busy hours. Just so happens this isn't one of them. For a few moments we simply sit in the stillness. I don't mind. Just being this close to her is enough.
“Start talking, Merrick, before I get up and walk away without ever looking back.”
Stretching my arm around the back of the seat, I begin, “When you were kidnapped, I went to your father for help. I told him it was my fault you were kidnapped and that I would do everything in my power to get you back safely. In exchange for helping me, I offered myself up. I confessed I was Ghost and that he could lock me up, but had to let me save you first.”
“How could you do that?” Jovi turns her body at me sharply. “How could you just give yourself up like that?”
“Saving you was all that mattered.” Her face twitches as her hand looks like it's aching to touch me. “Did he tell you any of this?”
“No. All he would say was, you helped the police find me and that the rest was not allowed to be discussed.”
(Such a 'by the book man'. Well, for the most part.)
“After I confessed, I pitched my plan to him. Told him what I needed from him. At the end of it, when he had agreed to do his part, I did mine. He wanted names and all the details I could give up about The Devil and his associates. I gave up the crooked cops, the crooked lawyers, doctors, city officials. Anyone who associated with The Devil were all fair game except the family. I'd never give them up. About half way through my ramblings about it all is when he pitched me a deal. If I brought you back to his life, he would give me back mine.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning, if I agreed to give up all that information and testify against The Devil in open court, I wouldn't have to serve a day behind bars. Instead, he would put me in WITSEC until it was safe for me to come out.” Cautiously I scoot closer. “That once I came out, my time would be considered served and I would have a clean slate.”
In disbelief Jovi shakes her head. “No...”
“Yeah. Not exactly the kind of deal a person can pass up.”
(Would you? Didn't think so.)
“So, we faked my death.” Anger appears on Jovi's face and I quickly state, “I didn't have a choice. Once your father realized there were so few people he could actually trust, he arranged this on his own. The death had to look real as did the aftermath.”
In a hurt voice she says, “I mourned for you...”
“I know.”
“I've been mourning...”
“I know.”
“I've been to grief counseling!”
“I know...”Swallowing my own sadness I say, “I know it all and I'm sorry baby, but I didn't have a choice.”
“I watched that house explode!”
“Because it did. The Devil had underground escape tunnels. I used the one underneath and blew up the house with a little help from a device your father gave me. Afterwards I was escorted out of the state and brought here. Put in an apartment I share with an officer fresh out of the academy and began being pumped for information on record the next morning. New name. New identity. New life. I was given the clean chance I wanted. When I took that final job for The Devil it was to get out. To get here with you, with no ties to that world. No part of my past lurking. So, when your father offered me everything I wanted, I couldn't turn it down.”
Slowly she shakes her head. “Unbelievable.” After a short pause she snaps, “Do you have any idea the emotional hell I've been suffering?”
“I do. Believe me, I do...”
“Whose idea was it for you to be brought here? To the city where I am?”
“Your father loves you more than I think you know.” The comment causes tears to come to her eyes. “He said the only man he trusted as much as himself to take care of his girl, was the man who would risk his own life to bring her home.” When she tries to smile I continue, “Aside from testifying and giving up all information I possibly could, I had to keep my distance from you until he gave me the okay. Oh! And I couldn't commit any illegal acts.”
“So you're little painting escapade?”
“May or may not have been me. Crazy how those cameras weren't working last night.”
(Destin may or may not have rubbed off on me just a bit.)
Jovi fights the urge to smile. “Unbelievable.”
“I am.”
“Ugh,” she grunts. “Don't get cocky.”
“Don't get sassy.”
When I smile this time, I lean forward. “I missed you so fucking much.”
Her face trembles as her shaky hand rises to touch my cheek. “I missed you too...”
“I couldn't live without you,” my confession is preceded by my forehead resting on hers. “Not then. Definitely not fucking now. Please don't make me.”
Jovi grips the front of my t-shirt shutting her eyes, the last of her tears falling in my lap. “I can't just forgive you that easy.”
“I can't just give you up that easy baby...”
“I can't either,” she whispers before pushing her lips feverishly against mine.
Hungry, hopeful, and just down right happy, I bury every emotion I've been fighting inside her as I suck in every one of hers. Our mouths stay connected as my arms flex around her, protecting her from everything and everyone.
(You better fucking believe nothing else will ever hurt this girl again. Damn sure not me.)