Basalom didn’t realize it, but he had just become the first robot in history to be condescending.
The last of the scanning robots finished disconnecting itself from its instrument console. As one, the four robots rotated their sensory turrets to “face” Dr. Anastasi.
When she was sure she had their attention, Janet began issuing commands. “Eyes, Ears, Nose, and Throat! Report!” As soon as that last word left her lips, Basalom anticipated the cacophony that would result from a literal interpretation of that order and jumped in on the commlink. Override, he squirted out to the scanning robots. Report sequentially.
The scanning robots seemed to accept his authority. Eyes, the robot in charge of scanning in the infrared through ultraviolet portion of the spectrum, began reporting first in a flat, toneless voice.
“Using the design information available for Learning Machine #1, I projected its range of possible operational profiles and thermal dispersion patterns. I found no infrared sources in the target area which met this criteria.
“Next, I used the solar spectrographic information and atmospheric data supplied by Nose, along with our knowledge of Learning Machine #1’s physical structure, to compute the albedo-”
Basalom interrupted via hyperwave. Explain albedo.
“-That is, the optical wavelength reflectivity of its skin. Allowing a 15-percent variance for self-directed changes in surface texture, I still was unable to identify any objects which showed a high probability of being either part or all of the learning machine.
“Finally, based on the knowledge that the ‘cells’ that compose the learning machine are actually polyhedrons with microplanar surfaces, I scanned for moire patterns in the ultraviolet range. Aside from the aeroshell in which the learning machine landed, I found nothing to match my search profile. ”
Good job, Eyes.The squat little robot did not acknowledge Basalom’s compliment.
Dr. Anastasi nodded thoughtfully. “I see. Next?”
Ears, the robot in charge of monitoring the microwave through hyperwave portion of the spectrum, began reporting in an identical monotonous voice. “While I have been able to locate the transponder on the aeroshell, I have not received any signals from Learning Machine #1 ‘s built-in hyperwave transponder. Nor have I been able to detect any leakage of the kind that should be associated with the operation of the learning machine. ”
Dr. Anastasi’s brow wrinkled.
Explain leakage,Basalom hyperwaved.
“When operating, all cybernetic circuits emit a certain amount of electromagnetic radiation. If we are familiar with the design of the device, we can project the frequency and data encryption of the leakage. No leakage conforming to the learning machine’s profile was found. ”
Dr. Anastasi nodded. “I understand. ”
“Learning Machine #1 was equipped with an internal commlink,” Ears went on. “I have been monitoring the base channel that you assigned to it, but I have been unable to pick up any signals originating from Learning Machine #1. ”
Dr. Anastasi frowned. “Okay, I hear what you’re saying. Next?”
Nose, the robot in charge of spectrography and chemical analysis, spoke up. It was equipped with the same voice synthesizer as Eyes and Ears, but Basalom noted that a microscopic crack in Nose’s voice diaphragm gave it an interesting third-harmonic distortion.
“My specialties are of limited use in this situation. However, I was able to coordinate with the other units. I provided Eyes with spectrographic data regarding the Tau Puppis sunlight and a summary analysis of the planetary atmosphere. Beyond that, I am unable to contribute. ”
Dr. Anastasi frowned. “Hmm. Something smells fishy about that. I’ll have to think it over. Next?”
Throat, the robot in charge of outbound telecommunications, spoke last. “Due to our inability to locate the learning machine, laser and maser communications were not attempted. I have been broadcasting continuous messages on the learning machine’s internal commlink frequency. However, as Ears reported, there has been no response. ”
Dr. Anastasi shot Throat a cold stare. “You don’t say?”
That was a rhetorical question,Basalom added. Do not answer. The robot held its silence.
Dr. Anastasi looked the scanning crew over one more time and screwed her face up into a look of complete disgust. “I can’t believe this,” she said finally. “You robots have been scanning that ball of dirt for eight hours and you haven’t found anything?”
Throat did not wait for a cue from Basalom, but simply spoke right up. “On the contrary, Dr. Anastasi, we have found a great deal. However, none of it matches the profile of either the learning machine or its damaged remains. ”
Dr. Anastasi forgot about Newton’s laws for a moment and waved a hand to cut Throat off. Unfortunately, since she was floating in zero-G, the action sent her spinning toward the neutrino detector. Basalom gently caught her and stabilized her.
“You found something? What?”
Eyes answered the question. “I have detected a significant number of large lifeforms in the area of the landing site. The largest appears to be a warm-blooded grazing animal. The next largest appears to be a cold-blooded predator which follows the grazing animals as they migrate. Since we do not know the final shape of the learning machine, I can tell you only that the average predator outweighs the learning machine by a factor of four to one. ”
Dr. Anastasi frowned. “Oh, great. So our learning machine ran into a monster and got itself demolished. ”
The scanning robots conferred briefly by commlink. “It is possible,” Throat said. “However, in that case we would still expect to find identifiable wreckage. At the very least, we should be able to locate the microfusion cell. We have not found either. ”
“Moreover,” Eyes continued seamlessly, “I have detected a number of clustered infrared sources. The sources are almost always found in the vicinity of what appear to be limestone caves, and the next largest class of lifeforms are generally found clustered around the infrared sources. ”
Dr. Anastasi looked from one robotic “face” to the next with a very puzzled look in her eyes.
Basalom squirted out a hyperwave message to the scanning team. Clarify!
“I studied the spectrographic signatures of the infrared sources,” Nose said. “I detected cellulose, chlorophyll, carbon, and pyroligneous acid. ”
“So our intelligent lupoids are still down there. But they couldn’t have destroyed the learning machine, and they sure couldn’t have removed all traces of it.
“If the robot were inside a cave, would you be able to detect it?”
Eyes, Ears, Nose, and Throat conferred briefly. Ears spoke when they had finished. “The commlink would penetrate all but the deepest caves. Small amounts of positronic leakage from the brain should also be detectable. I detected neither. ”
“So something is rotten in the state of Denmark,” Dr. Anastasi said.
Basalom was still trying to parse out the metaphor when Janet kicked off the wall and dove into the access tube. “Let’s get out of here. I need time to think. ”
As he followed, Basalom reopened his human viewpoint file and made another entry. When Dr. Anastasi wants to avoid having to make a decision, she moves to a different part of the ship and claims a need to think. Does physical location have a significant effect on human cogitative abilities? He logged and indexed the entry; as he was storing it, a dialogue box popped open in the upper left corner of his field of view.
Basalom?It was Eyes. This reaction puzzles us. Have we harmed Mistress Janet by giving her this information?
Basalom responded via commlink. 1 am still trying to determine the First Law implications of emotional distress.
Oh.Eyes was not a particularly bright robot, but it was selfaware enough to realize that it lacked experience in the subtleties of dealing with humans. In that case, perhaps you are best qualified to judge whether or not we should report our one additional finding.