Dr. Yeh! groaned. “I asked them to send me a money order. And what do I get? A blabbermouth!”
“Why don’t you show me your science lab?” Max suggested. “I have a lot of dandy advice on operating science labs.”
“Why not?” Dr. Yeh! replied. He turned down a corridor. “Bring the bag,” he said.
At the end of the corridor, they reached a blank wall. Nearby, on a pedestal, was a sculpture of a ballet dancer. Dr. Yeh! lowered one of the dancer’s legs, and the wall rose automatically into the ceiling, revealing an opening. They proceeded, moving along another corridor, until finally they emerged from the building and entered a lush garden.
“Magnificent camouflage!” Max said. “It doesn’t look one bit like a science lab.”
Dr. Yeh! frowned. “It isn’t a science lab,” he said. “We used the wrong blank wall.”
Dr. Yeh! led the way back. When they reached the spot from which they had started, he turned in a different direction. A moment later, they reached a second blank wall. But, tacked onto the wall was a small hand-lettered sign. It said: Temporarily Out of Order.
“Too bad,” Dr. Yeh! said. “We’ll have to try again tomorrow.”
“I had my heart set on it,” Max pouted.
“I’ll show you to your room,” Dr. Yeh! said. “I think you’ll find it very interesting. It has a built-in tape recorder. If you don’t mind a suggestion, why don’t you put your advice on tape? I could listen to it at my leisure, some time when I don’t have anything else to do. That way, we wouldn’t have to delay the business with the black bag, eh?”
“I’ll think about it,” Max replied. He had spotted a tall, round, waist-high vase, and he angled toward it. “Say… there’s an interesting piece of pottery,” he said.
“Woolworth,” Dr. Yeh! replied.
Max stopped at the vase and circled it, inspecting it admiringly. “Beautiful handwork,” he said. He palmed the pellet, then, gripping the edge of the vase, dropped it into it.
The pellet hit the bottom of the vase and clinked.
Dr. Yeh! looked inside. “You dropped your souvenir,” he said.
“Thank you for bringing it to my attention,” Max replied dryly. He put his arm into the vase and retrieved the explosive.
Dr. Yeh! smiled broadly. “What are friends for? Now, it’s your turn to do me a favor.”
“Anything,” Max said grimly. “Anything within reason, that is.”
“Just show me the money,” Dr. Yeh! said. “Hold on to it for another couple hours or so, if you want to, but at least show it to me.”
Max thought for a second. Then, “Just a quick glance,” he said.
“That’s all I ask.”
Max held up the satchel, then quickly opened it and closed it. “What color did you see?” he asked.
“Green!” Dr. Yeh! beamed.
“Now, may I go to my room?” Max said.
“Yes, yes, of course,” Dr. Yeh! replied, still grinning. As they moved on down the corridor, Dr. Yeh! said, “I like it. I like the new style.”
“The new style?”
“The new round-style money,” Dr. Yeh! said. “You know what it reminds me of?”
“Peas, perhaps?”
“Right.”
“Everybody comments on that,” Max said.
3
Alone, finally, in his room, Max hurriedly scribbled a note to 99. It said: Will meet you at the ballet dancer place.
Then, opening his door, he peeked out and looked up and down the corridor. At the far end he saw a guard.
“Hsssst!” Max hissed.
The guard, an Arab, looked at him speculatively for a second, then, hefting his rifle, approached.
“You speak English, fella?” Max asked.
“Like a native,” the guard smiled. “How about you?”
“Yes, I handle it fairly well,” Max replied. “Although, I have trouble with some of the southern and western dialects. For instance, in southern New York State there is a place the natives refer to as Lawn Guylin. I’ve never been able to find that on a map.”
“That’s Brooklynese for Albany,” the guard explained.
“Oh, is that it? Well, live and learn.”
The guard saluted. “Any time you need any more help,” he said, “I’m just down the hall.”
“Uh… just a second,” Max said, gesturing him back. “That wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. I wonder if you would deliver a message for me? Do you know the new dancer in the ballet troupe? She’s quartered in the ballet dancer place. Would you take a message to her?”
“I’m on guard,” the guard replied. “I can’t leave my post.”
“Oh, really? What would happen if you got caught?”
“I’d get a red star,” the guard replied. “Gold stars are for staying at your post, and red stars are for leaving your post.”
“Look, how about this?” Max said. “I’ll relieve you at your post, and that will leave you free to deliver the message. Okay?”
“But I’m supposed to be guarding you,” the guard pointed out.
“Perfect. I can handle that.”
“Well…”
“There’s a buck in it for you,” Max said.
The guard brightened. “I could buy a whole box of gold stars,” he said. “I’ll do it.”
Max gave the guard the message and a dollar, and the guard handed Max his rifle. Then Max assumed the watch over himself, and the guard departed to deliver the message.
As the guard was approaching the ballet dancer place, he met another guard. In fact, they collided at a corner.
“Watch it, you clumsy Arab,” Max’s guard grumbled. “I’m carrying an important message to the new ballet dancer from the American Advisor.”
“Big deal, you camel’s hump,” the other guard replied. “It just so happens that I am carrying a double-important message to the American Advisor from the new ballet dancer.”
“My message is triple-important,” Max’s guard retorted. “I didn’t mention it only because I’m not the type to brag.”
“May the Golden Peacock of Paradise drop bread crumbs in your ear,” the other guard snarled.
“May the Emperor’s horse swish his tail in your face!” Max’s guard responded.
“May the full moon fall from Heaven and land in your soup bowl!” the other guard growled.
“May the seventh son of your seventh son flunk math!” Max’s guard said nastily.
“Hey! That’s an awful thing to say!” the other guard winced.
“Sorry about that,” Max’s guard replied apologetically. “I guess I kind of lost my head. Are we still friends?”
“You know the rule,” the other guard said. “When two good friends insult each other, in order to become good friends again they have to exchange gifts. What do you have to give?”
“What do you have to give?” Max’s guard replied warily.
“I got a buck for delivering this message,” the other guard said.
“Me, too.”
“We could exchange dollars.”
Max’s guard shook his head. “I need this buck. I’m going to buy myself a box of gold stars.”
“Well… let’s see… what else do we have?”
“We have the messages,” Max’s guard pointed out.
“Just the thing!” the other guard beamed.
The two guards exchanged messages, then parted, each guard going his own way, the best of friends once more.
Thus, it was written that Max received the message he had sent to 99, and 99 received the message that she had sent to Max. Max’s message, which he received himself, read: Will meet you at the ballet dancer place. And 99’s message, which she received herself, read: I will meet you at the wall.
Late that evening, Max slipped out of his room, nodded amiably to the guard, then made his way stealthily toward the ballet dancer place.
At the same time, 99 slipped out of the ballet dancer place, nodded amiably to the guard, then made her way stealthily toward the wall.
Reaching the ballet dancer place, Max nodded amiably to the guard, then rapped lightly on the door.
The knock was answered by another of the female ballet dancers.
“I’m looking for 99,” Max whispered.