“What are you doing here, Max?”
“Waiting for a reply to my wire to the Chief,” Max replied. “I asked him to send more money.”
“Oh. You mean-”
“99, it’s fantastic. That machine is going to pay off on the very next play. But I’m completely out of cash.”
“But, Max, that machine is out-of-order.”
“I put that sign on it, 99. Do you think I want some stranger to walk off with my winnings?”
“Max, isn’t this getting a little out of hand?” 99 said. “Remember what we’re here for? We’re looking for Number One.”
“Number who, 99?”
“Max! For heaven’s sake! I think you’ve got gambling fever. That’s terrible! Don’t you know you can’t win?”
“Can’t win?” Max said indignantly. “One more play, 99, and I’ll be rich! 99, I’ve learned to communicate with that machine. And believe me, it’s my friend. It wants me to win. Is it the machine’s fault that I ran out of money?”
At that moment, the clerk spoke to Max. “Your wire came in, sir,” he said. “And here’s the money-a thousand dollars.”
Max snatched the bag of silver dollars and rushed back to the casino, with 99 tagging after him. Quickly, he dropped another silver dollar into the slot, then pulled the handle. The cylinder spun-and came up with a peach, a lemon and a cherry.
“Your machine was lying to you, Max,” 99 said.
“No,” Max said, putting another dollar into the machine, “the trouble is, the conditions weren’t exactly right. I wasn’t holding my left foot off the floor an inch and a half.”
“Is that necessary?”
“Conditions have to be perfect,” Max said, pulling the handle.
He got two cherries and an apricot.
“Did you see that!” Max said excitedly. “Did you see that, 99?”
“No money came out, Max.”
“Not that. What I mean is, did you see that apricot. I’ve never got an apricot before. That’s a very good sign. Now, I think, if I just put my thumb in my right ear this time, I think that will do it!”
Max dropped another silver dollar into the machine.
99 sighed and moved on and went to the dining room and had dinner. When she finished, she stopped by the casino again. Max was still playing the machine.
“Any more apricots, Max?”
“No. But I got a kumquat. You don’t see many of those on a slot machine.”
“Have you hit the jackpot yet, Max?”
“Not yet, 99. But I’ll hit it on the very next try, I’m sure. Getting a kumquat is practically like getting a written guarantee.”
“Goodnight, Max,” 99 yawned. “I’m going to turn in.”
When 99 awakened the next morning, she telephoned to Max’s room. There was no answer. She had breakfast sent up, then dressed and went down to the casino. Max was not there. She moved on to the desk, intending to ask the clerk if he had seen him, guessing that Max may have wired for more money. But on her way through the lobby, she spotted him shining a man’s shoes. 99 waited until he had finished, then joined him.
“Max, is this a disguise?” she asked.
“Not exactly, 99,” he replied. “I’m just picking up a little change. That machine I’m playing is all set up to pay off. But, as luck would have it, I ran out of silver dollars again.”
“Max!” 99 said, appalled. “You’re shining shoes for money?”
“You certainly don’t think I’m doing it because I like it, do you?”
“Where did you get the shoe shine kit?”
“I rented it from the rent-a-shoe-shine-kit company.”
“But you said you ran out of money.”
“Fortunately, they accepted my Diner’s Club card.”
“Max. . Max. . look at you!” 99 said. “I’ll bet you haven’t had any sleep. Your eyes are bleary. . your tie is loose. . you look. . well, terrible! Do you realize what’s happening, Max?”
“Of course I realize what’s happening, 99. I’m standing here talking to you when I could be hustling customers. Or, are you interested in a shoe shine?”
“I can’t afford it, Max. You put all my money in that machine.”
“Why don’t you rent yourself a kit, 99? I’ll let you use my Diner’s Club card.”
“Max, if the Chief-”
“Don’t mention that man’s name in my presence, 99. He’s a fair-weather Chief. I wired him for money, and he refused to send it.”
“No, he didn’t, Max. I was with you when it arrived.”
“That was the first time. Later, I sent him another wire, saying, SEND ANOTHER THOUSAND. And he wired back, WHAT FOR? Then I wired him again, saying, FOR OLD TIMES’ SAKE. After that, he telephoned me. And, 99, I would not repeat what he said to me. But, the gist of it was that my expense account has been cut off.”
“Did you tell him about your plan to locate Number One, Max?”
“The conversation didn’t get that far,” Max replied. “I hung up on him.”
“Max!”
“It served him right,” Max said. “He hung up on me first.”
“Max, you’ve got to stop this,” 99 pleaded. “Gambling is a sickness. Go to your room. Rest. I’ll telephone the Chief and explain everything. I’m sure he’ll forgive you.”
“Excuse me, 99,” Max said, moving away. “I have a customer.”
99 sat around the lobby all day watching Max shine shoes. Each time he got a dollar together, he rushed into the casino and put it into the slot machine. By night, not having hit the jackpot, he looked totally defeated.
“Are you ready to give up, Max?” 99 asked, joining him as he stood staring glassy-eyed at the machine.
“Yes, 99,” he replied, “I’ve had it. There’s just not enough big money in shoe shining. I need a new gimmick.”
“That’s not what I meant, Max. I meant, aren’t you ready to give up on this machine?”
“99, that’s ridiculous. I can’t quit now. Even if I just get back what I’ve put into this machine, I’ll be rich.”
“Max. . please. Come with me. We’ll have dinner and talk this over.”
“99, I’m not going to waste good money on food.”
“We’ll have to charge it, Max. We’re all out of cash.”
“Oh. . yes. All right.”
They went to the dining room, found a table, and ordered. While they were waiting for the food to be served, 99 reminded Max that he had a duty to the civilized world to resume the search for Number One.
“You’re absolutely right, 99.” Max replied. “And I’ll get to it just as soon as I hit that jackpot. First things first, you know. What good would it do to save the entire civilized world from the domination of KAOS and, meanwhile, miss out on a jackpot?” He leaned forward, lowering his voice. “I think I’ve got it, 99. My problem is, I need money-right? And when you need money, what do you do? You go where the money is-right? And where is the money these days?”
“Fort Knox, Max?”
“No, 99. Las Vegas.”
“Max. . you’re in Las Vegas.”
“There you are-see what a brilliant plan it is? I haven’t even started yet, and already the plan is clicking like clockwork.”
“You haven’t told me the plan, Max.”
“Oh. Well, the plan is, 99, I’m going to hold up Las Vegas.”
“Maaax!”
“Sh! — sh!-sh! Do you want everybody in town to know, 99? This is supposed to be a surprise holdup!”
“Max, in the first place, for heaven’s sake, that’s against the law. And, in the second place-everybody? How could you possibly hold up everybody at once?”
“Yell ‘stick-’em-up’ very loudly.”
99 shook her head. “It wouldn’t work, Max.”
“99, you haven’t heard the whole plan. Before I yell ‘stick-’em-up’ very loudly, I’m going to inundate the town with a special hypnotizing vapor. Every person in town will be immobilized and under my spell. When I yell ‘stick-’em-up,’ believe me, they’ll stick-’em-up.”
“And then what, Max?”
“Then, 99, I’ll go from person to person, robbing each one as I move along. It’s a cinch. Anything is possible with careful planning.”
99 thought for a moment, then said, “Well, Max, much as I hate to admit it, it does sound like a perfect plan. But, Max, it’s wrong to rob people.”
“99, some things are bigger than the law. There is a higher duty, you know. Just because a law is on the books, that doesn’t guarantee that it’s right or just. I ask you, 99, in all fairness, is it right to stop a man from robbing people when he has a golden opportunity to hit a jackpot?”