“So that’s how this ranch got its name!” Max said
He boosted the woman up into the saddle, then stepped back.
“Is he gentle?” she asked.
“Unless you wave a red flag in front of him,” Max replied.
“How do I get him going?” she inquired.
“I’m not sure,” Max replied. “Is there a starter button anywhere up there?”
“I don’t know. . I. . where would I look?”
“On the control panel, probably to the left of the steering wheel,” Max replied.
“Young man, there must be another way,” the woman said.
“Give him a nudge with that leather stick,” Max suggested.
The woman swatted the steer across the rear with the riding crop. The steer bucked-and the woman went flying through the air and landed several yards away in a haystack.
Max went over to her. “How did you enjoy the ride?” he asked.
“It wasn’t exactly what I expected,” she replied, backing out of the haystack, “but, as long as I’m enjoying myself so much, I suppose that doesn’t matter, does it?”
“Not a bit,” Max agreed. “Care for another ride?”
“Noooo-I think I’ll go back to the pool,” the woman said. “As much as I enjoy riding, I think I enjoy practically drowning even more. It’s amazing what fun that is.” She giggled again. “I think I’m hooked,” she said.
“That’s the way it goes,” Max said. “You get a little water in your ears, and before you know it you’re on a drowning kick.”
As the woman departed, Hymie returned.
“You just missed something,” Max told him. “I had a perfect example here of what can happen to a person when her bedside computer has been brainwashed. This woman is so sure she’s enjoying herself, she can’t wait to get back into the pool and almost drown again.”
“I saw some evidence of it myself,” Hymie said. “People are sitting around the pool in the sun, practically burning to a crisp, and they’re laughing their heads off.”
“Did you see 99?”
“No, she wasn’t there,” Hymie replied. “She probably went in to the lobby to get out of the sun.”
“Or. . her willpower isn’t what I thought it was,” Max conjectured.
“My investigation paid off though, Max,” Hymie said. “The minute I got close to the pool I heard a very distinct ticking.”
“Hymie. . Means and Ways told us about that. It’s caused by sun spots.”
“They were lying, Max. That ticking is coming from Number One.”
“A second ago, you told me it was coming from the pool.”
“It is. Number One is somewhere near the pool. The odd thing is. . the sound seems to be coming from beneath the pool.”
“Well, we’ll just go over there and wait, then,” Max said. “It stands to reason that she can’t stay on the bottom forever.”
“She isn’t at the bottom, Max,” Hymie said. “I looked. The water is clear, and I could see straight to the bottom. She isn’t there, but still. . still, she’s there.”
“Hymie. . have you been talking to that brainwashed computer in your room?”
“I know it sounds puzzling, Max,” Hymie said. “But that’s the only way I can explain it. Tonight, when all the guests are asleep, we’ll have to make a thorough examination of that pool.”
“Hymie, you said you could see the whole pool, right to the bottom, and there was nothing to see. How will it help to go back at night? Can you see nothing better in the dark?”
“Max, I know that Number One is near that pool. I heard her.”
“You were hearing sun spots, Hymie.”
Hymie shook his head. “No, it was Number One. I’d know that ticking anywhere. Besides, I could tell by the condition of the ticks. She’s hitting the oil again.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised, Hymie, to find that you’ve been at the oil can yourself,” Max said. “But, if you say you heard Number One, and you insist on going back to that pool tonight, I suppose I’ll just have to go along. Brains, apparently, count for nothing in this outfit anymore. Since you’re the leader, and I’m the follower, then all I can do is follow when you lead. That’s just plain ordinary logic. And I want you to know, Hymie, that, although I resented it a little at first, I have come to accept you as my leader. There are no hard feelings. After all, we’re all part of the team. And each team member, in his own way, is just as important as every other team member. In fact, every individual team member is just as important, in his own way, as the leader of the team. Am I not correct about that?”
“I’m glad you feel that way about it, Max.”
“You didn’t answer the question.”
“What was it, Max?”
“I said that every individual team member, in his own way, is just as important as the leader of the team-isn’t that correct.”
“Of course, Max.”
Max put an arm around Hymie’s shoulder. “Now, look, old buddy,” he said, “since there’s no difference in importance between you and me on this team, doesn’t it seem fairsies to you that I ought to get a turn at being leader? You’ve had it right from the first. Wouldn’t you like a change? How about me taking it from here on out?”
“I couldn’t do. that, Max,” Hymie said. “It would be disobeying orders.”
“Who’d know?” Max said. “Okay, then how’s this? Let me be leader for the rest of the afternoon.”
Hymie shook his head.
“Until tea time?” Max asked.
“I can’t, Max.”
“Just for a short time, then. For as long, say, as it takes me to unsaddle the steer.”
“Well. .”
“Thanks, Hymie. You’re a real friend,” Max said. He hurried to where the steer was standing and began removing the saddle. “The only thing is,” he said glumly, “if I’m the leader, how come I’m doing the manual labor?” But after a second, he figured it out. “That’s the way it always is,” he said. “If a leader wants a thing done right, he has to do it himself.”
6
That night, when all of the other hands in the bunkhouse were asleep, Max and Hymie slipped out and made their way toward the pool area.
“I can hear her ticking,” Hymie told Max.
“Are you sure? I’m wearing my house slippers because the boots were too tight, and the slippers are flopping. Maybe that’s what you hear, Hymie.”
“Max, I know ticking from flopping.”
“You do have sensitive hearing,” Max said, impressed. “I’ve never been able to tell a flop from a tick from a click. I could sit right next to a machine that was going flop, tick, click, flop, tick, click, flop, tick, click, flop, tick, click, and it would all sound like a series of flaps to me. It would be flap, flap, flap, flap-”
“Believe me, Max, this is ticking-and it’s Number One.”
“And you still think she’s in that pool, eh?”
“Somewhere near the pool, Max.”
“And is she still on the old oil, Hymie?”
“The way she sounds-yes,” Hymie replied. “Her ticks are a little thick-tongued.”
“Oh. Thick-tongued ticks, eh? My guess, Hymie, is that what you’re hearing is flops. There’s a lot of resemblance between a thick tick and a flop. I’ve heard-”
“Max!”
Hymie suddenly reached out and stopped Max. One more step and he would have walked into the pool.
“I get carried away when I get on the subject of thick ticks, flips, flaps, flops and clicks,” Max explained.
Hymie was peering down into the water toward the bottom of the pool. “That’s strange,” he said. “Max, look-there are two drains. What could be the reason for that?”
“Simple, Hymie,” Max replied. “One is for the water to drain out, and the other is for it to drain in. You couldn’t have it drain in and out at the same time through the same drain, could you? Use your head, Hymie.”
“You may be right, Max. But I doubt it. You’ve already been right once. I don’t see how it could happen again. Not so soon, anyway. I’m going down to the bottom of that pool and take a look at that second drain.”