“Which one is the second drain, Hymie?”
“The other one.”
“Oh.”
Hymie stood at the edge of the pool, looking down into the water. “I wish I had my trunks,” he said.
“Really? Do you expect to be gone that long? It’s only about twelve feet to the bottom of the pool, Hymie. Why do you think you have to pack a bag?”
“My swimming trunks, Max.”
“You could have said that in the first place.”
Fully-clothed, Hymie dived into the pool, then settled to the bottom. Reaching the other drain, he examined it, then appeared to be turning it, as if it were a dial. Immediately, a doorway opened in the side of the pool. Oddly, though, water did not rush into the opening.
Hymie climbed out of the pool, dripping wet.
“That’s it, Max,” he said.
“It certainly is,” Max said. “Boy, are you going to have a cleaning and pressing job on your hands!”
“I meant I found where they’re keeping Number One,” Hymie said. “Didn’t you see that door open? Behind that opening, there’s a secret installation of some kind. They use air pressure, apparently, to keep the water out. Let’s go, Max.”
“Into the pool?” Max said. “Hymie, I’ve only had this cowhand outfit one day. I’ll ruin it if I jump into the pool in it.”
“Well, I guess you can take it off and go in in your birthday suit, Max.”
“Mmmmmm. Ahh. . do you have any idea who we might meet in that secret installation, Hymie?”
“Ways and Means, probably.”
“No problem there,” Max said.
“And Number One.”
“Oh-oh. That blows the birthday suit idea. She might be offended. I guess I’ll just have to sacrifice my new cowhand outfit for the good of the civilized world. I hope it appreciates it.”
Max and Hymie dived into the pool, then passed through the doorway, and found themselves in a long, dry corridor. At the far end, they could make out another door, which appeared to be closed.
“That’s probably where they’re keeping Number One,” Hymie said.
“Either that, or it’s a dead-end,” Max said.
“Max, there aren’t any other doors. Why would Ways and Means build an underground corridor, with a secret entrance that makes it so difficult to get to?”
“Hymie, I’m not a psychiatrist. I can’t explain things like that.”
“I think we’ll probably find a laboratory beyond that door,” Hymie said. “That’s undoubtedly where the brainwashing is being done.”,
“Well, you’re the leader,” Max said. “If you really have faith in a crazy idea like that-” He shrugged.
With Hymie leading the way, they proceeded.
“Max. . quiet!” Hymie said.
“I can’t help it. I have water in my house slippers.”
“Empty them.”
Max poured pool water from his slippers, then tagged after Hymie. “I just hope that water didn’t damage my phone,” he said.
“You have a phone in your house slippers, too, Max?”
“I often get calls in the middle of the night. Wouldn’t it be a little silly to get up out of bed and put on my street shoes? Just to answer the phone?”
“I suppose so, Max. I never-”
“Hymie! Stop!”
Hymie halted. “What is it, Max?”
Max pointed to a small nozzle that was protruding from the wall at about head level. “This is where my experience proves valuable,” he said. “You see? You weren’t programmed to detect that. But I spotted it for what it is the instant I saw it. That’s because I’ve seen the same thing several times before. That’s the benefit of experience, Hymie.”
“But what is it, Max?”
“Well. . let’s see. . I’ve seen so many of these mechanisms, in time, they all begin to look alike. It might be a napalm spray. Or, on the other hand, it could be a mind-destroying laser beam. Yet, come to think of it, it might be nothing more than an automatic sprinkling system. Although-” He looked around. “-there isn’t much lawn in here. So that probably rules out the automatic sprinkling system.”
“Is there some way we can find out, Max?”
“We could hold something in front of it. I wouldn’t suggest holding a mind in front of it, though. It just might be a mind-destroying laser beam.” He reached into his pocket. “How about a slightly damp pack of matches?” he said.
“In this case, you’ll have to make the decision, Max.”
“All right, we’ll try it.”
Max held the matches in front of the nozzle. There was a sizzling sound, and they completely disappeared.
“If that had been a mind, it wouldn’t be a mind anymore,” Max said. “What you just saw at work, Hymie, was a mind-destroying laser beam. I know because if it’d been an automatic sprinkler system, I would have had a very wet slightly damp pack of matches right now.”
“How do we get past it, Max?”
“We can’t. A laser beam is impossible to destroy. If you try to hit it with a hammer, you just lose your hammer.”
“Max. . couldn’t we duck down and go under it?”
“Well, yes, if you want to cheat, I suppose you can do that,” Max said. “But if I have to make a choice between losing my mind and cheating- Mmmmmm. . who’ll duck first, Hymie, you or me?”
Together, Max and Hymie crouched, passed the laser beam, then proceeded. But, a few yards on, Max stopped Hymie again.
“Experience proves itself again,” he said, pointing. “There’s another one.”
Hymie studied the nozzle-like protrusion. “Another mind-destroying laser beam?” he asked.
“Aha! You’re wrong!” Max cackled. “That’s because you don’t have my experience, Hymie. I was dealing with KAOS when you were still a gleam in some mechanical engineer’s eye. This is not a mind-destroying laser beam. Look at it a little more closely-but not too closely-and you’ll see that it’s scorched around the opening. Now-what does that suggest?” He shook his head. “No, it doesn’t mean that somebody left the iron on while they went to answer the telephone and the call was from an especially talkative friend. It means, Hymie, that this is a napalm spray. It sprays flame.”
“Well, then-”
“Which reminds me of a little joke,” Max broke in. “What command is given to a firing squad of soldiers who are using napalm sprays?”
“Max, I don’t think-”
“Go on-guess.”
“I don’t know, Max.”
“Ready, aim, fire!”
“That’s the usual command, Max.”
“I know that, Hymie. But when the soldiers are using napalm sprays, the command ‘fire’ has special significance. Because fire comes from the sprayers. Understand?”
Hymie nodded. “That’s very funny, Max.”
“You have a very warped sense of humor, Hymie,” Max said disappointedly. “There’s nothing at all funny about napalm. If you walk in front of that nozzle, for instance, you’ll get yourself burned to a crisp.”
“What shall we do, Max?” Hymie asked patiently.
“Well, we could turn back, and climb out of the pool and get the car out of hiding, and drive into Las Vegas, and see if we could find a store open, and try to buy some asbestos clothing.”
“Isn’t there an easier and faster way, Max?”
“Hymie, I don’t like what’s happening to you. You’re getting so you like to cheat.”
They crouched, passed the napalm sprayer, then proceeded.
“I can understand why they don’t have any guards in this corridor,” Hymie said.
“You’re right-it is damp in here,” Max said. “One tour of duty, and a guard would be down with pneumonia.”
“That’s not what I meant, Max. I meant that with all these defensive gadgets, it would be almost impossible for an intruder to make it to the end of the corridor.”
“Unless he was experienced,” Max nodded. He pointed again. “For instance,” he said, “see that fire extinguisher hanging on the wall up ahead?”
“Yes, What is it really, Max?”
“A fire extinguisher, probably,” Max replied. “KAOS isn’t totally heartless. If you get hit by that napalm spray, you probably get a second chance.”