“Then we’ll just have to wait,” Max said. “I told you they probably got caught in traffic.”
“Tell him how we’re going to eliminate them,” Ways said to Means. “That’ll pique his interest.”
“It is kind of cute-even if I did think it up,” Means said, blushing slightly. “The thing is, it’s got kind of a new angle. There’s plain ol’ ordinary drowning, you know. And there’s common ol’ everyday headchopping. And there’s- But this has got a certain. . well, a certain ‘something’. . the touch of the artist, or something like that.”
“It’s got a theme,” Ways said.
“Right-a theme,” Means agreed. “The theme is: a man-and that includes the ladies, too-a man should die the way he’s lived. Get it?”
“Is ‘get it?’ a part of the theme, or was that a question?” Max asked.
“A question.”
Max shook his head. “I don’t get it.”
“I think I do, Max,” 99 said. “The point is, some men-including the ladies-live bravely, and some live cowardly, and some live inspiringly, and so forth and so on. And Mr. Means believes that a man-including the ladies-should die in the same manner. I think it’s sort of sweet.”
“Wonderful!” Means beamed. “Because that, dear lady, is how you are going to die. In a ‘sweet’ way. We’re going to drown you in this vat of sweet chocolate.”
“Oh, sure-I get it!” Max said brightening. “Sweets for the sweet! That’s very appropriate. Let’s see now,” he mused, “what could you have picked out for me? Something appropriate. .”
“We’ll feed you to the nut chopper,” Means said.
“I get it-in recognition of my sharp mind,” Max nodded. He indicated Hymie. “What about him?”
“Since he’s a machine-” Means began.
But he was interrupted. Max had been edging closer and closer to the blonde. All of a sudden, he reached out and snatched the pistol from her hand. But he did not get a good grip on it and it slipped from his fingers and clattered to the floor. Everybody-Max, the blonde, Hymie, 99, and Means and Ways-leaped for it. The toe of Max’s shoe reached it first, kicking it into the vat of chocolate.
“Boy, some kid is going to get a surprise when he bites into his Fudgy-Nut bar,” Max said, drawing his own pistol.
“We’ve just changed the name of the bar to the Fudgy-Nut Surprise,” Ways replied, drawing his pistol, too.
Max fired at Ways. The bullet struck Ways’ gun, knocking it from his hand, then ricocheted, hit a boiler, ricocheted again, and struck Max’s gun, knocking it from his hand. Everybody leaped for the two pistols. In the scramble, both guns were knocked into the vat of chocolate.
Melvin Means was the first to get free. He drew his gun.
“Everybody up!” Means commanded. “Them that’s with me, over here! Them that’s with him, over there!”
But at that moment, Max charged out of the pile-up and hit Means with a powerful block. Means went sprawling backwards-and the pistol went flying. Max jumped up and made a one-hand catch, just before the gun could fall into the vat of chocolate.
He leveled the gun at Means, Ways and the blonde. “All of you, over there!” he ordered. Then he addressed 99 and Hymie. “And all of you, over here-behind me,” he commanded.
Max heard two plops. He looked around. Behind him was the vat of chocolate. 99’s and Hymie’s heads were just bobbing back to the surface. They were chocolate-coated.
Appalled, Max bent down to reach a hand to them. He heard running behind him, and the next moment he went diving into the vat of chocolate. When he pushed himself to the surface, he was between 99 and Hymie-chocolate-coated-and Means and Ways and the blonde were standing at the edge of the vat looking pleased.
“It’s not perfect, but it’ll get the job done,” Means said. “They can’t climb out. And how long can you swim in a vat of chocolate?”
“You may think this is working out for you right now,” Max warned, “but just wait’ll you start getting complaints from people who find bones in their Fudgy-Nut Bars. You’re going to have a lot of explaining to do!”
“Dumb!” the blonde groaned.
Assuming that Max, 99 and Hymie would soon drown, Means and Ways and the blonde departed.
“Max, this is terrible!” 99 said.
“Oh. . I don’t know, 99,” Max replied. “Look on the bright side. Before long, we-or, parts of us, anyway-may be appearing in a Fudgy-Nut television commercial. That’s something.”
“Max, that isn’t what I want out of life,” 99 fretted. “What are we going to do?”
“How should I know?” Max asked. “Ask Hymie. He’s the agent-in-charge. He got us into this, let him get us out.”
“Max, it wasn’t Hymie’s-”
“99,” Max interrupted, “the agent-in-charge must assume full responsibility. If I were in charge, I’d be glad to take the blame for this. And I expect Hymie to do the same.”
“If it’s my responsibility to get us out,” Hymie said, “will you do what I tell you?”
“And wind up in the vat of butterscotch?” Max replied, sarcastically. “Considering, Hymie, I don’t know how you have the gall to ask us to trust you again. But-” He shrugged. “-how could you do any worse than this? All right-what do you want us to do?”
“I’m going down to the bottom of the vat,” Hymie replied. “When you see bubbles appear, that’s the signal. Max, you stand on my shoulders.”
“I appreciate the gesture, Hymie,” Max said. “But forget it. It’s too late. . I no longer have the desire to appear taller.”
“No, Max-”
“You go ahead, Hymie,” 99 said. “I’ll explain it to him.”
Hymie dived toward the bottom of the vat. A few moments later, bubbles appeared on the surface of the chocolate.
“Now, Max, you stand on Hymie’s shoulders,” 99 said.
“All right. . but I’m going to feel silly. When you’re drowning in chocolate, it’s a little late to start working up an act for the Ed Sullivan Show.”
“Are you on his shoulders, Max?”
“Yes, 99, but- 99! What are you doing?”
“I’m climbing up on your shoulders, Max.”
“Hey. . you know! Ed Sullivan might be interested in this at that-if we kept the vat of chocolate in the act, that is.”
From Max’s shoulders, 99 could reach the rim of the vat. She got hold of it, then, dripping chocolate, climbed out. Next, she reached a hand to Max and pulled him out. Then 99 and Max helped Hymie out of the vat.
“You’re very fortunate, Hymie,” Max said. “If you’d told me your plan before you tried it, I think I could have proved to you that it couldn’t work. Let that be a lesson to you.”
“Max, are you going to let Hymie be in charge now?” 99 asked.
“I have nothing to do with it, 99. The Chief put him in charge, so that’s it-he’s in charge. However, I would like to point out once more that if I had been in charge we would never have fallen into that vat in the first place. Let me tell you how I’d have handled the situation. Now, you see. . Means and Ways and that blonde were over there. . and you and Hymie were over here. In other words, you were partly in my line of fire. So, I had to get you behind-99. . Hymie. . behind me, please. I can’t show you how I would have handled the situation if you won’t cooperate. That’s right. . behind me. Now. . the minute I had you out of the-”
Max had the feeling that he was talking to himself. He turned and found that 99 and Hymie were no longer behind him.
“Where the-”
“Max! Help!”
Max looked up. He saw 99 and Hymie riding a conveyor belt that was taking them toward the ceiling of the factory, where the belt then dumped its contents into a funnel-like container.
“I’m coming!” Max cried, scrambling up the conveyor belt.
“Max!” 99 wailed when he reached them. “You should have stopped the machine!”
“Why didn’t you say so?” Max grumbled. “You called for help. And that’s what I’m doing. I’m here to help. Anyway,” he said crossly, “how did you get into a predicament like this?”
“You made us get behind you, Max. And behind you was the conveyor belt.”
Max nodded gloomily. “Put a robot in charge and you can expect anything. When the Chief-”