“Absolutely. Unlike someone, I’m not a hermit.”
He gives me a quick peck.
I watch him head over to the pool table. It isn’t but a few seconds later that I hear, “Come sit with us, Annabel.” It’s April. She and Sandra are sitting on the couch alone. Without the hesitance I would expect, I walk over and sit by them. The boys are laughing at the table, making fun of each other and playfully pushing when one of them make a shot. It’s so funny how at ease guys can be together. It’s so different from girls, I think. They can be friends with anyone and it’s normally not like that with us. Which sucks. Luckily, I don’t seem to have to worry about that tonight.
“How long have you guys been together?” Sandra asks, examining her fingernails. It’s weird because it doesn’t feel like she’s ignoring me or not interested in
what I’m saying, where with someone else, the gesture might come off that way.
“Um… a couple weeks? Not too long.”
April turns to face me. “Oh, I love how you met stories. Where did you guys meet?”
Oh joy! This is where I get to explain that Tegan is helping me lose weight. So not the romantic story I’m sure she’s expecting…but then, it does kind of feel that way to me. I never would have expected it, but I like our story. “We met at the gym he works at. I am—was a client of his…”
“Oh, Tegan’s getting hot and heavy at work. I never would have thought it possible. Now we know why he’s such a workaholic, he’s there to see you!” April
teases and I can’t help but like her train of thought.
“No, remember we haven’t been together very long.”
“Yeah, but it’s more fun to think it’s because of you. He’s so determined. So much different than he was a few years ago.”
I realize they all mean before the accident. Briefly, I wonder what he was like back then. Would I have still liked him? Would he have still liked me? “It’s funny because you guys keep talking about him working all the time. His mom mentioned it too, but I don’t see it. I mean, he’s taken time off and we went to watch his
brother play basketball and we’ve gone out a few times. We jog a lot too. He seems too full of life to be that way.”
Sandra stops playing with her nails and looks at me. “He likes to have a good time. He always has been like that: fun, funny, outgoing and he still is, he just feels so much responsibility I think. He’s been such a homebody since the accident.”
I say, “Yeah, he’s a good guy.” My eyes find their way to him, watching him concentrate on a shot. “He cares about everyone. Wants to do what he can for
everyone in his life.” His hair falls down in his face and he shakes it out of the way, eye on the ball, then briefly looks up and winks at me.
It’s almost like a touch, my skin pebbling as though his fingers are ghosting against it.
“Oh, girlfriend. You have it bad. I mean, who wouldn’t and it’s obvious he’s in love with you too.”
I’m not sure if it’s April or Sandra who talks because I can’t pull my eyes away from the totally hot guy who is my boyfriend. Somehow I should set them straight.
We’re not in love, it hasn’t been very long, but the words lodge in my throat.
“I know, right? He’s totally into her. So different than he was with Pammie.”
That catches my attention. My eyes shift to the girls again. “Who’s Pammie?”
It’s April who replies. “This other girl who hangs out sometimes. They hooked up a few times, nothing serious, but he broke it off. She’s still got it bad for him, but that’s Pammie. She likes to be the one who does the dumping rather than the other way around and he was never serious about her, so don’t worry.”
Actually, I didn’t even think of it to worry until she told me not to worry. Funny how that works. Tegan doesn’t give me much time to think about it because he
walks up to us. “You win?” I ask.
He’s standing right in front of me, my eyes level with his…well, his crotch. And again his pervertedness is rubbing off on me because I kind of want to stare.
“Do you have to ask?”
“Of course not. I should have known, big head.”
“That’s what I love about you, Annabel Lee. You’re always so sweet to me.” I start to choke on…well, air I guess. Or shock. Can you choke on shock?
“She looks like she’s about to pass out.” Sandra starts fanning me. I like these girls. I like them a lot. Which makes me think about Em and wish she were here
with me. Wish she could meet them too. I never would have thought it coming here, but this night has been perfect.
“Dude, I forgot to tell you, I saw your dad the other day.” Bo says as he walks up and Tegan freezes. Bo doesn’t seem to notice because he continues. “He had
some chick with him. I swear she couldn’t have been older than twenty-two. Your dad’s got game!”
Now it’s Tegan who looks like he’s going to pass out. I’ve seen him upset, but never, ever anything like the lost, angry look clouding his eyes right now.
“Yeah…good for him.” He’s trying to play it off with a shrug, but I see the dents in his armor, I just don’t know what to do about it.
“How’s he doing anyway? Tim?” This time it’s Rick who asks.
I’m not sure if Tim is a safer subject or not—not when knowing his dad left because he couldn’t take Tim’s injury.
“I’m gonna go grab a drink, I’ll be back.” I reach for Tegan’s hand, but he kind of shakes it off and then he disappears into the crowd. Everyone around me keeps talking so I assume they didn’t notice, but I do and it doesn’t feel good. I get it, he’s angry, but why can’t I be there for him the way he is for me?
We talk for about fifteen more minutes, but I can’t stop thinking about Tegan. The girls and I exchange phone numbers and I’m excited to have met new friends.
Friends I will introduce to Emily. It hurts too much to keep her out of this part of my life, but I can’t enjoy it now. My mind is with him.
“I’m going to find Tegan.” They tell me goodbye and walk away.
Soon I’m sifting through people again on my way to the kitchen. As soon as I round the corner, he’s there. Not looking at me and not alone. “It was good seeing
you, Pammie. But I gotta get back. My girl’s waiting for me downstairs.” The only reason I can hear him is because we’re in a hallway, him at one end and me at the other. It’s empty and though there’s music, he’s speaking loudly for her to hear and enabling me to hear too. But I don’t really give a crap about why or how I can hear him. What I do care about is, Pammie is hot. Like hot enough that she takes my breath away.
Skinny. Super skinny, short skirt I’d get kicked out of school for wearing, pierced belly button. How do I know, you might ask? Oh, because her shirt is practically non-existent. Nice. She has black hair like me. Only hers is long and glamorous and I want to chop it off.
But then…he’d said his girl is downstairs. His girl being me. There’s a Pepsi in one of his hands and a bottle of water in the other. For me. It all should make me feel better, but it doesn’t. How can I ever compete with her? Maybe I don’t have to…
“Yeah, I saw you with her. I thought you didn’t want a relationship? I thought you had too much on your plate to be with anyone?”
“I do have a lot I’m dealing with and I didn’t want a relationship, but things change. Not that it’s any of your business.”
“So things changed because of her? You can do so much better, Tegan. We look much better together.”
I feel as though someone has socked me in the gut. I can hardly breathe.
“No thanks and on that note, I’m out. And don’t ever say anything about her again.” Tegan tries to walk around her, but she stops him, a hand on the same chest I touched earlier.
“Wait…I…” And then she leans forward and kisses him. Her lips. My boyfriend. It’s only a couple seconds. Everything in me breaks. I want to run. I should run.
It hurts too bad to see this, because she’s right. They do look good together. But you know what? I don’t care. And as much as the instinct to run rears inside me. I don’t. Not away at least. I run toward them, because this boy is mine and I’m not going down without a fight.