“I’m all screwed up right now.”
I push myself closer to him, needing to feel him, all of him, tight against me. “Why? What can I do?”
“Nothing.” He shakes his head. “I just…I just have to work it out, but I love you. Just bear with me and I’ll figure it all out.” For the first time, I worry he’s lying to me. Maybe even lying to himself. His voice is off. And even though he might not know it, deep down inside, as deep as the marrow in my bones, I somehow know
I’m going to lose him. How will I do this without him?
“I’m here. I’ll do anything you need. I’ll always be here for you.”
He brushes my cheek with the back of his hand. “I love you. I’ll work it out.” It’s everything I want, but not enough at the same time, but when his lips meet mine, I can’t help but hope I’m wrong. That this is a little blip in time that means nothing. That things will magically get better by the way his tongue dips so needy, into my mouth.
“Holy shit! Annabel Conway? What the hell happened to you?”
I freeze against Tegan, but it’s nothing compared to the way his body unnaturally stiffens. Pulling away from Tegan, I turn to see Billy and crew. I can’t believe they’re on this side of town.
“It is you.” He elbows Patrick. “Dude, check it out. Annabel has a boyfriend.”
“Who the hell are you?” Tegan steps away from me and toward Billy.
I see a light in Billy’s eyes that tells me he’s about to do something stupid. He knows he’s untouchable. For some reason he likes hurting me. “Tegan, let’s go.”
“Is this him?” He looks at me and I know he knows this is Billy.
“Let’s go back inside.”
“Yeah, go back inside, Tegan. You don’t want to mess with me. I’m a friend of your girlfriend’s.” Then he looks at me and I want to puke. “Lookin’ pretty good,
Conway. Not quite there yet, but lookin’ good. I never would have thought—”
Before I can stop him, Tegan is in front of Billy. “Walk away. Don’t say another word to her, and walk away.” There’s a fierceness in Tegan’s voice I’ve never
heard before.
“Tegan. Come on, he’s not worth it.” I hope, pray he’ll walk away. He locks eyes with me and takes a step away from Billy and toward me. That’s when Billy
swings, hitting Tegan in the jaw while he’s not looking.
I scream when Tegan charges at him. His arms go around Billy’s middle and they fall to the ground. Billy swings. I hear his fist connect with Tegan’s jaw again.
Tegan falls off of him, but recovers quickly, punching Billy in the stomach when he comes back at him.
My body is on adrenaline overload. Fear and worry colliding and crashing inside me. “Stop! Both of you stop! Do something,” I yell at Patrick.
“What do you want me to do? I don’t wanna get hit!”
Pain shoots through me when Tegan takes a punch to the gut. He counters it with a swing to Billy, hitting him in the nose, blood gushes everywhere.
“You prick! You made me bleed.”
“Leave her alone, you hear me? Stay the hell away from her.” There’s pain in his voice and it doesn’t sound physical. There’s more going on here. This isn’t just about Billy. Tegan turns to walk away again.
“Fuck you.” Billy charges Tegan. They hit the ground again, Tegan kicking Billy off of him. It’s then that the owner of Let’s Get Physical, Jim comes out.
“What the hell is going on out here?” The man is huge. Probably two Tegan’s and a Billy put together. I’ve seen him before, but not often. “Tegan! Are you
fighting outside my gym?” Easily, he steps between them. “Are you on the clock?”
“No.” Tegan spits and blood comes out of his mouth. Tears overflow my eyes.
“He works here? He’s crazy. He attacked me. I’m going to sue the hell out of him and anyone else I can. You better believe I’m pressing charges.” Despite being
bloody, Billy looks so proud of himself, I have to fight down the bile that’s built in my stomach.
“That’s not true!” I yell, running over to them. “Tegan tried to walk away, but Billy attacked him!”
“That’s not the way I remember it.”
“Yeah, me either.” Patrick agrees with Billy.
“Get the hell off my property,” Jim seethes. “You too, Tegan. You have some nerve bringing this shit to my place.”
“I work in an hour.”
“No, you don’t.”
Tegan’s eyes pop up, meeting Jim’s head on. I see his chest rise and fall he’s breathing so heavily. “Fine.”
In the background, I see Patrick, pulling a laughing Billy away.
“We’ll talk later.” Without a glance at me, Tegan turns and stalks off. I start to run after him.
“Tegan! Wait.”
He turns and looks at me and shakes his head. “I can’t right now. I’m sorry. I just…I just need to be alone.”
And then he’s gone, a trail of blood splattering on the sidewalk behind him, like breadcrumbs. Alone. I’ve never felt so alone in my whole life.
Chapter Twenty-Two
ALONE
I’ve always known news travels fast in Hillcrest, but I didn’t realize how fast until Mom comes home livid, the same night of Tegan and Billy’s fight. I haven’t let go of my cell phone all day, hoping, praying for a text or call from Tegan. I hope he isn’t hurt badly. I can’t stop wondering what I did wrong and if I somehow made him stop loving me.
“Annabel! We need to talk. Now!”
I push my empty bowl of ice cream aside, yep, ice cream. It’s always been my comfort, until Tegan was. Today, I need a little comfort. “Why? We’ve never
talked before so what’s the point now?”
She gasps and I’m a little proud of myself. “I’m going to ignore that. Can you imagine my embarrassment when three of my friends called me today to let me
know your hoodlum boyfriend attacked Betty’s son?”
There’s no point in trying to set her straight so I don’t. “No, but I’m sure you’ll tell me.” I pick up my bowl and head back to the kitchen. Of course, Mom
follows.
“I’m not sure when you decided it’s okay to talk to me like this, but I can assure you, it’s not. And I won’t have you dating someone who’s violent, Annabel. If he attacked a nice boy like Billy, he could turn that violence on you.”
I sputter, dropping the bowl to the floor, ignoring the shatter of glass. “Tegan would never hurt me. He’s not violent. Did you ever think for one minute to ask my side of the story? That maybe he was protecting me? That maybe Billy hasn’t always been so nice to me? Ninety percent of teenage boys have probably been in a
fight, Mom. It doesn’t make them violent, women-abusing jerks.”
“Your relationship with him is over and what on Earth would Billy do to you?”
I notice how she brings it up second. Her most important issue being Tegan, not the possibility Billy has ever done anything wrong to me. “Well, thank you for
your opinion, but no. I love him and I’m not breaking up with him.”
Mom’s face pales. “Oh, Annabel. You don’t love that boy.”
Heat engulfs me. “Oh, really? I wasn’t aware you know or care anything about how I feel.”
It shocks me when she steps forward. “I’m only saying this because I don’t want you to get hurt and he will hurt you, Annabel. You might think you love him, but
it’s just because he’s the first boy to ever show you attention. You’re breaking up with him. Hate me all you want, but I’m doing it to protect you.”
Ugh. I’m so tired of crying. Tired of tears and pain. Open your mouth, I tell myself. Tell her you’re tired of her assuming no one will want because you’re not
perfect. That you’re tired of not being good enough for her. But I can’t. I still can’t and it makes me hate myself even more. “I’m used to being hurt by now, Mom. I’ll take my chances.” With that, I run up the stairs and into my room. Alone again.