I’ve never had this closeness with someone before, and I’m going to suck up every second of it. I’m sick of fighting this. The last few hours of my life have been the best I can remember.
I’m through with everything, and it’s all going to change today. This is something I’ve never done. I’ve always done what my father’s wanted and that’s gotten me nowhere. Everything from the classes I took, to the activities I participated in, he had laid out for me.
It feels freeing to let go. I thought I would’ve had this freedom when I left college, but instead I came back to have control ripped away from me once again. It seems playing by my father’s rules got me nowhere, and no matter what I did, he would just make up new ones. It was an endless cycle of holding me down.
I’m still a little worried about my grandma. Maybe I can just tell her what’s going on. I’m so worried that it might stress her out, and that’s something she doesn’t need right now. She seems to be so weak lately that she doesn’t need all this laid at her feet. I hate that I didn’t realize how sick she’s really been. I should’ve been coming home more, but every time I called she always said she was fine. It wasn’t until recently that I found out things haven’t really been all that fine after all. And now my father really has some leverage over me—the one thing he can use to control me.
I’m starting to wonder what he has over Law. Law and I have never been super close, both going off to different boarding schools and him being eight years older than me. His life was busy when he worked up in Chicago, and even when I could make it out to see him, he always had his head buried deep into whatever case he was working on.
I haven’t gotten much time to talk to him since I’ve gotten back. I was being pulled in so many directions, we didn’t have time to catch up. We’re going to have to sit down and work some stuff out because there’s no way I’m going to let Dad keep me from Grandma, and more than likely I’ll need Law’s help.
Paine sits me on the counter, making me squirm on the cold granite top. “Sorry, Duchess.” He reaches for a shirt hanging off the bar stool at the breakfast bar, sliding it over my head. “I love seeing you naked, but I don’t want you to be cold either.” Leaning in, he takes my mouth in a soft kiss. “You sore?” His eyes go soft, and I can see the concern in his face. “I took you hard.”
“I’ve never been more perfect.” I smile when I say the words because they’re true. I feel so happy with him. Like I’m home. “And thanks,” I say, looking down at the worn shirt with an old car on it. I love it more than any piece of clothing I have. It’s completely Paine, complete with what looks like an old grease stain. Even better, it smells like him.
“You never have to thank me. Taking care of you is what I’m supposed to do.” He runs his thumb across my lip before pulling away.
“What do you fancy, Duchess?” he asks, pulling open the refrigerator door.
“You cook?” I can’t picture him working his way around a kitchen. A car, sure, but making spaghetti? Not so much.
“When I’ve got food I can, but I’ve been too busy to get to the store. Someone has had me chasing them all over town.” He turns to smile at me as he pulls eggs and cheese from the fridge.
It’s crazy how easy this feels. Like we’ve been doing it forever. Maybe when it’s right, that’s just how it is. I don’t have experience with men, but my grandma told me when you find the right man, you just know.
I kept getting worried that she’s going to ask me if Scott was the one, but she hasn’t. Maybe she just thinks he is. Why else would I agree to marry him?
“Hope you like egg-and-cheese sandwiches. We can run to the store and stock up tomorrow on some stuff. I plan on keeping you in our bed for the next few days.”
Butterflies take flight in my stomach at the word ‘our.’ He’s acting like I’m never leaving. Maybe I’m not. I don’t think I’ll be able to go home when my dad finds out I’m not marrying Scott.
It’s all so simple here. I glance around, taking in Paine’s home. It’s warm and cozy. Hardwood floors run throughout, with deep gray-blue walls. The floor plan is open with the kitchen off to the side of the living room, and a big dining room to the other side of the kitchen. A giant fireplace takes up one wall, with silver tiles surrounding it.
One thing I’ve always disliked about my family home is that it is too big. I love the idea of being able to cook in the kitchen and still be able to talk to someone lying on the couch. I can easily picture a family here.
Me in the kitchen cooking dinner, Paine lying on the couch watching a baseball game and talking to me while I cook. The kids at the dining-room table, doing their homework before dinner. It makes me miss something I never knew I wanted. Being here with Paine, it’s all so clear.
“What makes you have that look on your face?” I turn back from my domestic fantasies and study him. If he meant half of what he said when he took me to bed hours ago, then maybe we’re on the same page.
“How many?”
“How many what?” I ask.
“Kids.”
I run my hands down his tatted-up arms, pulling him closer. He sets a plate down on the counter next to me and wraps his arms around my waist.
“Three.”
“Only three?” he teases, and I’m relieved that the fairy tale I just dreamed up moments ago is so close. I can almost reach out and touch it, or maybe it’s already in my grasp.
“Let’s start there. We still have an uphill battle,” I remind him.
“It’s time to start talking.” He jumps up on the counter with me, handing me one of the sandwiches he just made, and I lay it all out for him while we eat.
“I’ll figure it out. He can’t keep you from seeing your grandma.”
“I’m not so sure. Scott’s the family lawyer, and I have no idea who controls what. I’ve never had to worry about it before, and I know my father has some powerful friends, Paine. I just—”
“Baby, calm down.” He jumps back off the counter, grabbing my face between his hands. “I promise you. I won’t let him keep her from you. I told you, I’ll give you everything you’ve ever wanted, and if you want to see your grandma, you’ll see your grandma.”
I believe him, and I don’t know why. I’ve only known him for such a short time, but I can tell by the look in his eyes he means it. And it’s quite clear Paine gets what he wants.
“Trust me, Duchess.”
“I do.” He pulls me to his chest and holds me tight, that feeling of being home warming me again.
A knock at the door pulls us from our embrace.
“Who the fuck…” Paine glances over his shoulder to look at the clock on the stove. “It’s almost midnight.”
“Booty call?” I half-tease. Who else would show up at his house so late?
Paine gives me a stern look. “I told you I never invited a woman back here. Don’t push your luck or I’ll spank your ass.”
I wiggle at his words, thinking about him spanking me as he takes me from behind. The image makes everything in my core clench.
“My dirty Duchess. You like getting your ass spanked? I’ll have to remember that.”
I go to lie and tell him I don’t, but another knock sounds on the door.
“I’m fucking coming,” he shouts. “Don’t move.” He shoots me a look, and I stay rooted.
I watch as he makes his way to the door, wearing just his underwear. It better not be a woman out there, because I don’t want someone else seeing his boxer briefs hugging his thighs tightly. It’s then I notice all of his tattoos across his arms and chest are on display. I didn’t realize he had so many. He was wearing long sleeves when I first met him, and only a few of the tattoos peeked out at his wrist. I don’t know what it is about his hard side that draws me to him. I’ve never met someone like him before, and men like him don’t run in the same circles as I have all my life. Maybe that’s why I never knew what attraction was until I met him.