“Why, Syd?”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Because only one person calls you that, wildcat?”
“Don’t call me that either.”
“Because that’s not really a pet name, it’s something so much more?”
“Who the fuck are you talking about?”
Case laughs. “Take one guess, sweetheart.”
I know it’s Garrett. I know this. But what Case is saying doesn’t make sense. So I say nothing.
Case lets out a breath. But then his feather travels down my stomach to the dip between my hips. “Brett likes you bare?”
I fume inside. “That’s none of your business.”
“Have you ever fucked him?”
“Fuck you.”
“I know you haven’t. I’ve heard him complain about it before.”
“Fuck you.”
“He’s afraid you’ll be a huge disappointment in bed.”
I close my eyes to block him out.
“But he’s got nothing to worry about in that department, does he, Syd?”
I remain silent. But Case doesn’t remain still. His feather dips down between my legs, to my sex. He tickles my clit a few times, making me cry out with humiliation. “Stop,” I say.
“Stop?” Case asks. “I don’t think you really mean that, do you, Syd?”
“Stop,” I say again. “Stop now, and you won’t have to add ‘rapist’ to your resume.”
He chuckles under his breath, like I’m so funny. “I’ll stop if you say it again.” I open my mouth, but he clamps a hand over it before I can get the words out. “Hush,” he says.
My mind spins with that hush. Something is there. Something weird.
“Hush,” he says again, like he knows. “Hush, Sydney. Because I think I know why we’re not getting anywhere with the drugs.”
I look up at him. Past the hand that’s still clamped over my mouth. His amber eyes hold me like that. Completely in his grasp. Completely under his control.
“Say yes and I’ll tell you the question that’s on your mind now. Say yes and I’ll stop the confusion. Say yes and I’ll ease it out of you in a way you might enjoy. Right here on the table where I killed your father. I’ll tell you my little secret.” Case pauses for a moment. And then he lifts his hand away from my mouth. The no I’m screaming inside is trapped there in my mind.
Case exhales, releasing the tension he was hiding. He’s not as in control as he wants me to think. And then he resumes his play. The feather tickles my clit once again and I close my eyes and shake my head.
“Say no, then.”
But I don’t say no.
Because hush means something, I just can’t quite place it. Hush. It’s a soft word. A soothing word. Not a mean shut up. Not a harsh be quiet.
Hush.
Case leans over my parted legs with one hand on the inside of my knee. His touch is soft and soothing. He gives me a slight squeeze and then dips his mouth down to my inner thigh and kisses the marks he put there with his knife.
I close my eyes and shake my head. My legs tremble. I want to speak. I want to say no so bad.
But I want to say yes much more.
His tongue travels up my thigh, his hand gently caressing the opposite knee. “Say yes,” he murmurs as he kisses. “Give in to me, Syd. You know you want to.”
I do want to. But I’m not ready to say it out loud yet.
Case unbuckles his belt, undoes his button, and unzips his fly. The lantern isn’t bright enough to see it, but the shadow of his hard dick is thick as he fists it in his hand. He drops the feather and reaches for the knife attached to his belt. And then he drops his pants and we are both naked.
He climbs on the table and straddles my hips.
I let out a whimper.
“I want you to say yes, Sydney. Because yes is the answer to all your problems right now. I’m the answer to all your problems right now. But you can say no. Now’s your chance. Your last chance, Sydney. I can kill you now”—he holds the knife up to his throat, making a slicing gesture across it—“and it will be over. You never have to know the truth. You never have to face this reality. Say no and I’ll make it all the confusion go away. It will be very simple and I’ll make it very quick.”
I stay silent.
“But wildcat, do you really want to move on to the next world being played instead of being a player? Do you really want to give up? Give in? Check out? Don’t you want to know, Sydney? Don’t you want answers to all those burning questions you must have?”
I hold my breath trying to understand him.
“If you give me what I want, I’ll make it better for you.”
What am I supposed to say to that? “Fuck me then. Or kill me. I don’t really care. Do whatever you want.”
“You’re missing the point, cowgirl.” He stares down at me. I can’t see his eyes very well, there are too many shadows. But I know that stare now. I’ve seen it in my head for years. I’ve craved it.
And here he is. The gift I wanted, but not the way I fantasized. I wanted him to choose to save me that night. And even though I know I’m only here so he can use me, I still need to hold on to the illusion I’ve built up in my head. I want Merric Case to desire me so much, he chooses differently. I want him to change my life. I want him to take it back.
“What’s the point?” I ask softly. “Tell me what you need and I’ll try and give it to you.”
He huffs out a breath of air. A sort of satisfied laugh. “Famous last words, Syd. If you really want to give me what I want, you need to tell me what you know.” He crawls up my body, a hand on each side of me, one still grasping the knife. And then he positions his cock in front of my face. “You’ve seen him.”
“Who?” I ask, my voice barely a whisper.
“Garrett,” Case says, leaning down to whisper back as his lips cover mine. “You’ve seen him, Syd. Lots of times. You used to disappear every once in a while. Be gone for days. Sometimes up to a week. I used to think you had quite the stealthy skillset.” He pulls back a little so he can see me. His body is covering most of the light behind him, so I can’t see him at all. His face is just a shadow. “But I’ve been thinking about why you’re not responding to the drugs, cowgirl. And the only possible answer is Garrett.”
I shake my heavy head and close my eyes. “I don’t want to play anymore. I don’t want to play—”
“You’re gonna play, Sydney. You know how I know that?”
I don’t answer. I don’t open my eyes. I’m so dizzy.
“Because all I gotta do is tell you to hush.”
I spin. The darkness becomes so much more than blackness. It becomes everything. It becomes safety, and relief, and desire. It calls to me, makes me want him in ways I can’t explain.
It splits me open and empties me out.
And then he’s there with my reward. My last chance is over.
He fills me back up.
“Satisfaction comes from achievement. The problem comes when you can’t decide where the finish line is. Sometimes you cross without realizing.”
– Case
Her lips wrap around me as I ease into her throat. Her tongue flattens down, sliding against my shaft. I grunt, wishing I had her in the light. Wishing I could see every moment as she takes my whole length.
“You feel good,” I tell her, my hand pressing against her face for a moment of encouragement.
She gags a little when I thrust too hard.
“Shhh,” I tell her. She’s out of it now. Lost in her own world. I hate to take her this way, but I need her in that world. It’s the place that has the answers. And this is the only way I know to get her there. Garrett used her this way. He knew a long time ago how to make her comply with his demands.