I seem to be the dysfunctional one in this group. Oddly, it doesn’t depress me, it just makes me want to isolate myself so I don’t accidentally taint any of these lovely people around me. Especially the one right next to me, who’s being so adorably wonderful with his niece that I’m having a difficult time wiping the smile off of my face.
“Are you gonna save a dance for me later?” Nate asks as he spears a piece of meat with his fork.
“Why do I gots ta save it?” Madeline looks up at him with her big, blue, inquisitive eyes.
Nate grins and lets out a small, airy laugh. “It’s an expression, Mad. When you want to dance with a pretty girl and you know that lots of other boys are going to ask her too, you want to make sure that she knows you want to be one of those boys. So you ask her to save a dance for you.”
Madeline’s cute little mouth forms a tiny ‘o,’ and I can tell that she doesn’t quite understand, but she goes along with it anyway. “‘Kay.”
Nate laughs as Madeline steals the steak from from the end of the fork, popping it in her mouth with a high-pitched hum.
“You’re going to save a dance for me later, aren’t you?” He gives me a sexy wink that makes my heart ache as much as it makes it flutter.
I nod, not trusting myself to say anything.
Nate’s eyebrows scrunch together; he must notice that I’ve got something on my mind. As soon as he opens his mouth to say something else, Amy stands and clinks her spoon against her wine glass. When the room is quiet, she picks up a microphone and walks over to our table, coming to a stop right in front of Ben and Gabby.
“Thank you all for coming tonight to celebrate my son and my new daughter,” Amy says with a smile. I notice that she didn’t call Gabby her daughter-in-law, and yet again I feel this surge of affection for this wonderful woman who has welcomed my best friend into her family in every possible way. “My Ben has always been very private. He keeps everything he cares about very closely guarded; he doesn’t like to share it with the world. When he was a boy, he was full of big ideas, and he was so smart, but he never wanted to show his father and me anything he was working on before it was finished. He wanted to be sure it was exactly the way he wanted it to be before he showed either one of us.”
I look over at Ben; his fingers are entwined with Gabby’s, and he’s looking down at them with a shy smile on his face. Gabby’s eye’s are trained on Amy.
“When he went off to college in Texas, all he could talk about was the Rangers and the heat and how much he hated his Chem professor. Then one day, he mentioned Gabby. He told Jack how she’d shared her English Lit book with him when he’d forgotten his back at the dorm and didn’t have time to go back and get it.” Everyone laughs; Ben’s forgetfulness is well-known to those who love him. Amy turns and looks at Gabby, then reaches out and takes her hand. “He started talking about her more and more, and finally one day he brought her home to meet us. I knew then, the first time I saw him smile at her, that we’d wind up here someday. My serious boy who loves so deeply and cares so much had finally found a partner who could make him laugh. Gabby is…she’s everything I’ve ever wanted for him. She’s exactly the kind of woman I wanted him to marry, and I think his father taught him everything he needs to know about being a loving husband to her.” A tear slips down Amy’s cheek as she looks over at Jack, and I have to swipe away the tears that are falling down mine.
Nate gently bumps my shoulders with his. He leans in close and whispers, “Wait for it.”
“I’m so happy that we’re all here to celebrate Ben finding his soulmate, and Gabby marrying her Mr. Wright.”
Amy puts the mic down and hugs the two of them as the room erupts in applause.
Even though Nate told me about his mother’s love for “Mister Wright with a ‘W’-slash-Mister right with an ‘R’ comparisons,” in a teasing way, I thought he’d playfully roll his eyes when she said it. Instead, he looks over at me with an unreadable expression on his face, and the intensity of it is too much for me to bear.
“ARE YOU just going to stare at him all night looking miserable?” Xavier asks as he leads me across the small dance floor.
“I don’t look miserable,” I tell him, not even bothering to deny the fact that I’m staring at Nate. He’s a few couples away, holding Madeline’s hands as she balances on the top of his feet, trying to learn a simple box step. I grin watching the two of them, but I know it’s a melancholy sort of thing because there’s this inexplicable sadness pulling at my heart that I can’t quite seem to shake this evening.
“You look miserable, and that’s not acceptable.” Xavier flashes this sly grin before he dramatically dips me, and I can’t help the high-pitched squeal that comes out of my mouth. I laugh as he lifts me up, and lightly smack his shoulder once I’m back on two feet again.
“That’s better,” he says, pulling me closer. I rest my head in the crook of his neck, glad to be close to someone with no expectations for a little while. We sway together for a minute or two longer, until the song ends. Another one starts up, and soon Xavier is pulling away.
“May I?” Nate asks.
Xavier steps away quickly, knowing my acceptance is a foregone conclusion. I nod, offering Nate a small smile as he takes my hand in his. As usual, the slightest contact with his skin just burns, sets every nerve in my body on end. I take a deep breath as his hand slips around my waist and settles against the small of my back, pulling me closer until my body practically melts into his. I wind my fingers up along his shoulders until my fingertips brush the hair on the nape of his neck. I can feel his heart stuttering against my chest, can feel the way his breath picks up when I touch him like this.
I squeeze my eyes as my stomach twists. I can’t imagine allowing myself to keep him.
I can’t imagine letting him go.
I wish I could shake this sadness that I’ve been feeling ever since I stepped onto that altar. I promised myself I wouldn’t get involved, and yet here I am, so tangled up in him that I’m having difficulty figuring out how to let go.
If Nate notices my struggle, he doesn’t mention it directly. If he sees the indecision behind my eyes, he tries to distract me from it.
“This is a pretty dress,” he says, gently sliding his finger below the strap and dragging it over the curve of my shoulder. Goosebumps bloom all over my skin, and I can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s pretty pleased with the way he can make my body react to a simple touch. Nate’s stubble scratches my cheek as he bends down to whisper in my ear. “It’ll look good on my bedroom floor.”
I pull away and laugh, rolling my eyes at how cheesy that line is. “You’re better than this,” I say, teasing him. I close my eyes as he kisses the tip of my nose.
“Fine,” he replies, smiling, his finger still gliding across my skin as his blue eyes meet mine. “We’ll play a game to see how good I can make you feel while you’re still wearing it.”
That smile, those words, and his eyes all conspire to make my knees a little weak.
“We have to stay here until Gabby and Ben leave,” I tell him, not really sure why I’m discouraging him all of a sudden.
Nate’s fingers curl around mine as he brings me closer, pressing our chests together. “We’ll make the most of the time we have left.”
The way he’s misreading my sadness makes my heart ache.
“We’re leaving tomorrow.” My voice is a little strained. I’m not quite sure why I say it; maybe it’s to remind myself of the inevitability of our goodbyes, and maybe it’s to remind him.
“What happens then?” Nate’s voice is soft, and I’m not even sure that he meant for me to hear the question. I answer it anyway.
“I don’t know.”
We sway in time with the music, and I turn my head, breathing deep. I wish I could find a way to keep his scent with me forever; I want to bottle it up and carry it around in my purse to remind me of happier times whenever life starts bringing me down. I close my eyes and think of his smile, the one that brings that dimple in his cheek out of hiding and makes his eyes as blue as the sky.