Chapter XII
“Well, Mother Found on second thoughts that we made life worth while for her,” said Jermyn the next morning. “Let us hold on to that.”
“We prove that she does the same for us by being here,” said Griselda. “We can’t have anything to complain of, clinging to life as we do. That is the real thing to face.”
“Griselda, don’t let your woman’s courage do too much for you,” said Jermyn.
“I hope she has not inherited that side of Mother,” said Matthew.
“Things skip a generation,” said Rachel.
“Courage does not take much account of other people,” said Matthew.
“All qualities leave victims in their wake,” said Rachel. “Look at truthfulness and justice.”
“The reaction came sure enough,” said Matthew.
“And truthfulness and justice have no reaction,” said Rachel.
“Courage is the best of them,” said Gregory.
“We are very satisfied with Mother,” said Griselda.
“Are you, my darlings? Well, that is very kind, and I think in some ways fair of you,” said Harriet, her voice revealing her presence. “That is a pleasant message from my children to set me off on my day.”
“And, we hope, to bring you to the end of it,” said Jermyn.
“My darling, your hoping it is what will bring me to it.”
“We have one day secure before us,” said Matthew.
“My boy, I must help you to forget it,” said his mother.
“Harriet, your giving the whole of your attention to your children amounts to throwing up a guest’s disadvantages,” said Rachel. “You know you think childlessness a disadvantage.”
“I should certainly be much the poorer for it.”
“Much poorer is dreadful openness,” said Rachel.
“You don’t wish you had children, do you?” said Gregory to Rachel.
“I am not sure. People say you never die when you have descendants.”
“That is true,” said Harriet.
“Well, there wasn’t much meaning in what you did then, my dear,” said Rachel.
“There is Father’s door. Ring the bell for the servants, Matthew,” said Griselda.
“Does Godfrey have all the attendance?” said Rachel. “I did not know that a natural man existed in these days.”
“We are summoning them to prayers,” said Gregory.
“Our servants don’t have that extra summons,” said Rachel. “I don’t mean we feel they get tired of being summoned; they must get a contempt for you if you consider them: it is contemptible to do things because you are forced to. And why shouldn’t they object to being treated differently? They can see we don’t consider each other. But Percy is not at his ease reading prayers, and not to be at ease is known to be such an unspeakable thing. I could not bear the girls to lose their respect for their father. I am equally careful about their feelings to both their parents. Besides, we haven’t anyone we need pray for, as you must have to pray for Buttermere.”
Godfrey gained his seat with a glance around that seemed to be reassuring, and set to his office without dissipation of energy.
“O Lord, we are gathered together to greet Thee, thankful to Thee from our inmost soul for Thy mercy in averting from us the great ill, with which Thou wast pleased to threaten us. We have entered the valley of the shadow, with her who is nearest to our hearts, and we emerge with those same hearts filled with gratitude to Thee. Together with one voice we thank Thee, from the highest to the lowest, from myself to the least in my house, equally in Thy sight insomuch as the last is first; and likewise this our dear friend under our roof, to whom we have extended our hospitality in return for — whom Thou didst send to us, to support our steps from darkness. This is our brief word from all our hearts, brief in proportion to their fullness, to the fullness thereof.”
As the family came to the table, Harriet smiled to herself.
“Harriet, my dear, you are better this morning. You are meaning to get on your feet again. You are plucking up spirit,” cried her husband, beginning loudly and letting his voice die away.
“You did make me look a little ridiculous, Godfrey,” said Rachel.
“My dear Rachel, I meant every word I said.”
“I thought you hardly seemed to,” said Rachel.
“Well, Rachel, you are not leaving us to-day, so I hope you don’t think you are,” said her host, doing himself definite justice.
“I would never go if it were not for the claims of my own life. I have never had such a full time. A dinner party generally goes by itself. Godfrey, do you prepare your prayers beforehand?”
“Rachel,” said Godfrey, bringing his fist down on the table, “I give you my word that not a thought on the subject passes my mind until the moment when the words fall from my lips.”
“You are not one of those people whose whole life is a prayer then?” said Rachel. “It is not nearly the whole of it.”
“Well, it happens to be one of the things I do,” said Godfrey modestly. “Harriet, try to manage a little more. Make an effort, my dear. You have been under a heavy strain, heavier than you can realise, as great as could befall a mortal woman.”
“Her being mortal was the whole point of it,” said Rachel. “Gregory, you are looking at me with eyes of real affection. I believe I am your favourite of all your old ladies.”
“I declare, Rachel, you are younger than any one of them,” said Godfrey. “Younger in spirit, I mean.”
“I know that was your terrible meaning,” said Rachel. “Here are the two eldest of the others coming up the drive! It must be to inquire for Harriet. How can we make her look as little foolish as possible?”
“I will tell the truth,” said Harriet.
“Oh, no, my dear, I must protest against that,” said her husband.
“I mean, I will say I took something I thought afterwards was harmful.”
“That will do,” said Rachel. “We thought you meant you could not tell a lie. That would be absurd after what you could do yesterday.”
“Show the ladies in, show them in,” said Godfrey to Buttermere, without waiting to be asked. “We have nothing to prevent us from seeing our friends this morning.”
“Now, we already have a reply to our question!” said Agatha, advancing with her hand raised towards Harriet. “We have been in such anxiety about you, that we felt we must come to inquire. And here you are, an answer in yourself!”
“She sounds quite reproachful!” said Geraldine.
“It is providential that Mother is an answer in herself,” said Griselda to Jermyn. “Now perhaps they won’t want any other answer.”
“I feel so ashamed of giving everyone such a fright,” said Harriet. “I swallowed something that I thought a moment later was something else, and got a shock, and I am afraid made a fuss. But it turned out that it was nothing.”
“I am sure I should make a fuss in such circumstances,” said Geraldine. “It seems to me that every quivering string within one would threaten to snap.”
“You must have had some terrible moments,” said Agatha to Godfrey.
“Terrible! That is the word, Mrs. Calkin, terrible. We thought for some moments — well, I won’t tell you what we thought. But we had those moments. We lived through them. We have that behind us.”
He put his hand on Harriet’s shoulder, and she raised her hand to his.
“You have all had a sad experience for your ages,” said Agatha, looking round.
“Yes, do give us some sympathy,” said Jermyn. “Mother has nearly all of it, and Father any that is left.”
“What was it that she took?” said Geraldine.
“Something marked poisonous, that was happily not poisonous at all,” said Jermyn.