When I saw Verline snap at Rollie and then storm outside, I followed her. She’d cut into the sheltered area between the two barns. The bluish glow of the yard light illuminated the darkness, so I wasn’t completely night-blind.
She fired up a smoke and inhaled deeply, resting her shoulders and one foot against the outside barn wall.
“Verline? You all right?”
She didn’t seem annoyed at my presence. “I’m fine. Just takin’ a smoke break. Didja need something?”
“I wanted to tell you thanks for coming tonight.”
Her eyes zoomed to me, my back pressed against the opposite barn wall. “You came out here in the cold to do that?”
“No. I came out to ask you what’s going on with you and Rollie. You both seem tense.”
“He’s bein’ a dick, so I’m bein’ a bitch. That about sums it up.”
Her words weren’t laced with venom, as I expected, but sadness.
“Why? Has he said somethin’ to you?” she demanded.
“No, but I’ve run into him a couple of times in the last week, and he’s been grouchy.”
Verline snorted. “Fucker is beyond grouchy.” She inhaled and tipped her face to the sky as she exhaled. “He’s pissed off we have another kid. Ain’t like I can do anything about it now.”
I didn’t respond.
“He bitches all the time about bein’ too old to be around babies. He don’t want nothin’ to do with them. Pisses me off because I thought he was different than other men. Makes me sick that he…” Her chin trembled, but she firmed it and smoked angrily. “I won’t keep my babies in a place they ain’t wanted. I know what that feels like.”
“Is that how you ended up with Rollie?”
“Maybe. Met him when I was thirteen. Started chasing after him when I was sixteen. He never seemed old to me. He was a real man. Not like the mean men I’d been around. Drunks. Losers. Druggies. Wannabe gangbangers. Rollie talked to me. He listened to me. He didn’t treat me like a stupid little girl. He treated me like I mattered.”
I schooled myself against commenting on Rollie treating himself to sex with a young thang who had a serious case of hero worship.
“I moved in with him when I was seventeen. Thought since he’d done such a good job takin’ care of me that I could return the favor.” Verline puffed on her cigarette and blew out a stream of smoke. “Within two months I was knocked up. He wasn’t upset, but all his kids that speak to him ’cept for Junior were majorly pissed off.”
“Why?”
“They think Rollie’s got money, and when he dies the pie’s gonna be grabbed by another grubby fist. They oughten be thinkin’ that way at all. No wonder he don’t want nothin’ to do with any of his kids or his ex-wives.” Verline tilted her head and stared at me through the smoky haze drifting from her mouth. “He likes you. Respects you. I think he kinda wishes I was more like you. Tough.” She shrugged. “But he don’t want you the way he wants me.”
Thank God. “I’m not blowing smoke up your skirt when I say Rollie’s always spoken of you with…” Shit. Why was I getting in the middle of this?
Her eyes narrowed. “With what?”
My brain urged me to lie. But my tongue had been dosed with truth serum. “Exasperation. And affection. Does that make sense?”
She smiled. “Yep. If you’da said he spouted his undying love for me, I’da called bullshit. But seein’s I recognize that scary-ass, don’t-ever-fuck-with-me look in your eyes that I see in his? Well, I ain’t gonna tangle with you. I ain’t dumb.”
There was my opening. “So are you dumb enough to let Rollie beat on you, Verline?” I pointed to the side of her face. “I saw the bruise, so don’t lie to me.”
Her sausage fingers skimmed the surface before her eyes met mine. “That’s one thing Rollie ain’t never done. Hit me. Truth is, Taj had a tantrum and smacked me in the face really hard with a metal fire truck.” She laughed and coughed at the same time. “Even I know how lame that sounds. But it’s true. And Rollie was pissed because I was holding the baby at the time, and he thinks Taj is a hellion. At sixteen months. Give me a friggin’ break. He’s a baby.” She tossed her cigarette to the ground and crushed it beneath the toe of her athletic shoe. “Rollie was so sweet to me after that. Funny. Like my old Rollie, not like this angry old man version of him that I don’t even know.”
I believed her. Rollie had a violent streak as wide as mine. Granted, I’d never seen it, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t aware it was there.
“It’s confusing as hell. When it’s good between us, I don’t wanna leave. But when it’s bad…”
“Where are your kids tonight?”
“My sister is watching them. I wanted to come, even when I knew Rollie wouldn’t. So I didn’t tell him where we were goin’ until after he got in my car.”
That would’ve gone over well.
“I’ve heard about this place. Rollie talks about your mom sometimes. Course, I knew your dad when he was sheriff. So knowing all that… I was curious to see if your family is as fucked up as mine.”
“What conclusion did you draw?”
“No contest. Your family is the friggin’ Cosbys compared to mine.”
Pounding footsteps echoed. Lex; Doug; TJ’s youngest kid, Clay; and Luke’s youngest kid, Dirk-they all skidded to a stop as they came between the buildings. “Oh, sorry, we were looking for…” They didn’t finish the sentence, just raced off.
We started back to the house.
“Ain’t you gonna whip out some advice?” Verline asked. “Or give me a pep talk about how all of this will blow over and get better?”
I faced her. “Nope. You’ll figure it out, or you won’t. Besides, if I gave you advice, would you take it?”
“Hell, no.”
“That’s what I figured. But I will wish you luck.”
Three men were arguing in front of the steps. I jogged over when I saw Dawson wasn’t around. “What’s going on?”
“You’re the same sneaking lying bastard.” Devlin sneered at Rollie, ignoring me. “That shit ain’t gonna help her.”
I looked at John-John. He sported a look of hatred I’d never seen before.
Rollie crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not such a bastard when I’m lending you money, Devlin. She’s runnin’ out of options, and so are you.”
“Shut up.”
“How much are you into Saro for?” Rollie calmly asked Devlin.
Devlin shot John-John a look before he glared at Rollie. “You don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”
“I know you got debts all over the place. I know you ain’t got a pot to piss in to pay off them debts. I know them guys ain’t as patient as me.” Rollie looked at John-John. “You gonna bail him out again?”
“Not your concern,” John-John snapped.
“It is a concern to me because it’s my business. My money. That money wasn’t a gift; it was a loan. You ask him how much he owes me. Then you see if you’ve got the right to be uppity with me, winkte.”
I’d watched the exchange with my mouth hanging open.
“Enough.”
Now we all looked at Penny Pretty Horses as she slowly moved down the steps.
“Mom, what are you doing out here without a coat?”
“You afraid I’ll catch my death of cold?”
I bit back a laugh.
But John-John heard the noise and whirled around to glare at me. “You think this is funny? She’s dying of cancer, and you’re laughing?”
Whoa. That was all kinds of bitchy.
Penny patted his arm. “Better to be laughing than crying, eh, Mercy?”
Like I was gonna answer that.
“And you two.” Penny pointed to Devlin and her son. “Leave Rollie alone. I don’t care about your business with him. I can talk to whoever I want and do whatever I want.”
Rollie took a step closer to Penny. “I don’t need you sticking up for me.”
“Jesus, Rollie, don’t be such a dick,” Verline said, grabbing his sleeve and pulling him back. “She’s dying.”