“Not that I know of. She’s kind of — kind of — well, I don’t know. On the outside, what would you say? Slow.”
“She’s probably not pregnant at all. She’s not overworking?”
“She goes to business school.”
“Of course, there are blockages; something may go wrong with the organism. Only a doctor could tell.”
“So she may not be pregnant at all.”
“I wouldn’t be the least surprised if she isn’t.”
“Well, I feel better — and I feel worse.” He pushed his glasses back up. “What if it goes on seven days, eight days, nine days?”
“She’d better see a doctor. Any practitioner can tell by what’s called a dilation whether she’s pregnant or not. That’s how I found out I was.” Her very normalcy of tone, her matter-of-factness, sent her statement skimming out of plausibility: See a doctor! “Why don’t you bring her here?” Edith suggested. “I’ll take her to see Dr. Trower. He’s not an abortionist. He’s just a general practitioner, but—”
“Oh, no!” Ira groaned. “Oh, no!”
“Why, Ira? I don’t understand.”
“Bring her here!”
“Why not?”
“Oh, God! She’s a tub.”
“Don’t be a goose, Ira,” Edith rebuked sharply. “She’s an adolescent. What did you think I would expect an adolescent girl to look like? Heavens. She’s going through an entire physiological change.”
“Oh, Jesus, wait till you see her.”
“Ira!”
“Yeah. What a dumb tub.”
“Will you please be practical?”
“Yeah.”
“And exercise a little common sense?”
“I thought there was something she could take. I thought maybe you had something left over you could give me. Some drug. I thought you said something about ergo—”
“Ergot.”
“How?”
Edith spelled the word out. And then added: “It can only be had by a doctor’s prescription, and it may be too dangerous for an adolescent in any case. I don’t know. I’m not a doctor.”
“So what can she do? What’s safe? All right, tell me. What did you try? Did you go to a doctor right away? My mother—” he began, interrupted himself: “What?”
“There are two things she can safely do, pregnant or not. They didn’t work for me — neither did the ergot. But they may for her.”
“Yeah, what? I gotta get back there by two o’clock.”
“Oh, is she waiting to hear?”
“Yeah. It’s my best chance to tell her.”
“She can try very hot baths. As hot as she can stand them. And a strong cathartic: castor oil. As I say, nothing helped me. The embryo must have been attached to me like iron.”
“Hot baths. Castor oil,” he repeated with doleful earnestness.
“And if nothing works — and as I say, you’re unduly worried, I don’t believe she’s pregnant — bring her here after a few more days. A few more days won’t matter one way or the other — if she is pregnant.”
“Like when? When should I bring her?”
“I’m free all afternoon Friday. I can make an appointment with the girl in my doctor’s office the day before. Of course, I can cancel it if she’s menstruating by then.”
“Friday.” The only thing that kept him from wringing his hands was counting his fingers. “Today is Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Ten days.”
“But even then only a doctor’s examination can tell whether she’s pregnant or not. Are you the only one having sex relations with her?”
“I don’t know. I guess so. . I never asked. . I just hung around till I got a chance.”
A silence as she contemplated him. He could feel an unspent sigh lodge deep in his gut.
“Ira, may I ask how long it’s been going on?”
“Since she was fourteen. Since I was a sophomore at CCNY.”
“Almost as long as I’ve known you.”
“That’s right.”
She shook her head the slightest bit. “I thought you were completely attached to your mother. I thought you were completely withdrawn into yourself, shy and unawakened. I suppose I can’t be blamed for misjudging you. I’m not blaming you. I’m just surprised that I did. You never spoke about girls. You spoke mostly about your mother. Your sister occasionally. And of course, there you were, such as close friend of Larry’s.”
“Yeah. You can see why.” Her dainty fingertips played among themselves; her level brown eyes invited an explanation. “Why I never mentioned girls.”
She shook her head — in sympathy. “Child, don’t punish yourself so. You are what you are, and it’s your extreme sensitivity that’s to blame, if anything. Besides, I’m sure that kind of thing is very, very common. Sexual experiences begin much earlier than people realize, or pretend they do. The few times one hears or reads about it — between cousins and even closer relations — incest—”
“Yeah?”
“They’re probably no more than tips of the iceberg. Your aunt never suspected?”
“I told you. She thought I came there for the dollar she gave me. Makes it treacherous, doesn’t it?” His voice thickened, and he hemmed to clear it, smirked: “I wanted to play a decent part — where you were concerned — you know?”
“You poor lamb. What time do you think you could get her here Friday? Where is she? She’s not employed yet?”
“No. That business school that faces Union Square Park, that’s where she goes. I don’t know the name. Near 14th Street.”
“And what time can you get her here?”
“Any time you say. If it’s an emergency.”
“About two — that is, assuming she hasn’t menstruated by then.”
“Will I ever call you to tell you!”
“I’d better make the appointment for two-thirty. I take it she won’t have any trouble getting out of the business school?”
“Oh, no — I’m sure of it. It’s a private school. Secretarial, that kind of thing.”
“Near 14th? You can get her here by taxi in a few minutes then. What is her name again?”
“Stella. . kubella.”
“What?”
“It’s Yiddish. Cybel.”
“Is that her name?”
“No. Cow.”
“Oh, Ira, please!”
“That’s how I feel. Dumb, dumb satyr, Minotaur.”
Edith slid off the couch and came toward him, even before he’d gotten to his feet. “Ira, I want you to know I don’t think any less of you for what you’ve told me than I did before. You may think I do, but I don’t. You’re caught in the grip of nature’s most powerful drive — we all are, and we’re going to satisfy it somehow, men and women — in spite of religion and society, and everything else. It’s unfortunate she’s so young, but she may simply be more mature sexually than most girls her age. There’s no clear line. It just happens she’s your cousin. What if she were someone unrelated to you? You would still need help if she’s pregnant, and I can only repeat, as young a girl as that probably isn’t. I just hope you don’t become so panic-stricken and frightened by guilt and God knows what that you let this thing ruin your life. Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you? Don’t go to pieces. Don’t let this thing do that to you.”
“No.”
“Ira—” She waited for him to stand up. “You’re very dear to me. You know that. If necessary I’ll do everything possible to prevent any disaster. Will you trust me?”
“That’s why I came here.”
“And I’m glad you did. You’ll keep in touch with me?”
“All right.”
“Over the next few days. I’m home evenings. Phone or come over.”