Merlin

And so I began to tell her about all that had taken place since that strange night. I talked and she listened to every word, and the distance between us simply shrank away to nothing, so that in the end it seemed almost as if I had never been away at all.

I must have talked long into the night, for when I finished everyone else had gone and the torches in their sconces were guttering out and the fire on the hearth was a heap of red embers.

'I have talked the night away,' I told her. 'But there is still so much to tell.'

'And I will hear it. But I have been selfish – you are tired from your journey. Come, you must rest now. We will talk again tomorrow." She leaned forward in her chair and hugged me for a long time. When she released me she kissed my cheek and said, 'How many times have I wanted to do that?'

We stood, and she led me from the hall to the chamber that had been made ready for me. I kissed her once more. 'I love you, too, Mother. Forgive me for causing you such pain.'

She smiled. 'Sleep well, Merlin my son. I love you, and I am happy you have come home.'

I went into my room then and slept like the dead.

TEN

Maelwys was better than his word, for the next day there was indeed a feast. The servants began preparing the hall as soon as we had broken fast. Maelwys and Chads and I sat before the hearth in our chairs and talked about all that had taken place in my absence – until the doors of the hall were opened and some of the serving girls came running in from the snow outside, laughing, their arms full of holly and green ivy. They proceeded to plait the holly and ivy together and then draped it around the hall – hanging it above the doors and torch sconces.

Their happy chatter distracted us, and when I asked what they were about, Maelwys laughed and said, 'Have you forgotten what day it is?'

'Well, it is not long past midwinter's – what day is it?' 'Why, it is the day of the Christ Mass. It has become the custom of this house to observe the holy days. We celebrate tonight – your return, and the birth of die Saviour God.'

'Yes,' agreed Charis, 'and there is a surprise in it for you: Dafyd is coming to perform the mass. He will be overjoyed to see you. His prayers have not ceased since he learned of your disappearance.'

'Dafyd coming here?' I wondered. 'But that is a far distance to come. He may not make it at all.'

Maelwys answered. 'Not so far. He has begun building an abbey but a half-day's ride from this very place. He will be here.'

'Is the shrine at Ynys Avallach empty once more?' The thought did not cheer me. I loved the little round building with its high narrow, cross-shaped window. It was a most holy place; my soul always felt at peace there.

Charis shook her head lightly. 'By no means. Collen is there and two others with him. Maelwys offered Dafyd lands for a chapel here and an abbey nearby if he would come and build them.'

The work is nearly complete,' announced Maelwys proudly. 'The first of his brood will begin arriving with the spring planting.'

A thought passed between Maelwys and Charis, and the king rose from his chair. 'Excuse me, Myrddin; I must attend to the preparations for this evening's celebration.' He paused, beaming at me. 'By the Light of Heaven, it is good to see you again – it is this much like seeing your father.'

With that, he was off on his errands. 'He is a good friend to us, Merlin,' observed my mother, watching him stride across the hall.

Indeed, I never doubted it. But her words seemed offered as an excuse.

'That is true,' I allowed.

'And he loved your father… ' Her voice had changed, becoming softer, almost apologetic.

'True again.' I watched her face for a clue to the meaning of her words.

'I did not have the heart to hurt him. You must understand. And I admit that I was lonely. You were gone so long – missing so long. I stayed here the first winter after you were taken… it seemed right, and Maelwys is so happy… '

'Mother, what are you saying?' I had already guessed.

'Maelwys and I were married last year.' She watched me for my reaction.

Hearing her say the words, I felt the uncanny sensation that it had happened before, or that I had known it from the first. Perhaps that night when I had glimpsed her in the flames of Gern-y-fhain's fire I knew it. I nodded, feeling a tightness in my chest. 'I understand,' I told her.

'He wanted it, Merlin. I could not hurt him. Because of me, he never took a wife, hoping that one day… '

'Are you happy?' I asked.

She was silent some moments. 'I am content,' she said at last. 'He loves me very much.'

'I see.'

'Still, there is happiness to be found in contentment.' She looked away and her voice broke. 'I have never stopped loving Taliesin, and I never will. But I have not betrayed

him, Merlin; I want you to understand. In my way, I have remained true to your father. It is not for myself that I do this; it is for Maelwys.'

'You owe me no explanations or apologies.' 'It is good to be loved by someone – even if you cannot return that love completely. I am fond of Maelwys, but Talie-sin has my heart always. Maelwys understands.' She nodded once to underscore that fact. 'I told you he was a good man.' 'I know that.'

'You are not angry?' She turned back, searching me with her eyes. Her hair shone in the soft winter light, and her eyes were large and, at that moment, full of uncertainty. It could not have been easy for her to do what she had done. But I felt that there was a lightness to it.

'How should I be angry? Anything that brings such happiness cannot be a bad thing. Let love increase – is that not what Dafyd says?'

She smiled sadly. 'You sound like Taliesin. That is just what he would have said.' She dropped her eyes and a tear squeezed from beneath her lashes. 'Oh, Merlin, sometimes I miss him so much… so very much."

I reached for her hand. 'Tell me about the Kingdom of Summer.' She looked up. 'Please, it has been so long since I heard you tell it, Mother. I want to hear you say the words again.'

She nodded and straightened in her chair, closed her eyes and waited for a moment in silence for memory to return, then began to recite the words I had heard from the time I was a babe in arms.

'There is a land shining with goodness where each man protects his brother's dignity as his own, where war and want have ceased and all races live under the same law of love and honour.

'It is a land bright with truth, where a man's word is his pledge, and falsehood is banished, where children sleep safe in their mothers' arms and never know fear or pain. It is a land where kings extend their hands in justice rather than reach for the sword; where mercy, kindness and compassion flow like deep water over the land, and men revere virtue, revere truth, revere beauty, above comfort, pleasure, or selfish gain. A land where peace reigns in the hearts of men, where faith blazes like a beacon from every hill, and love like a fire from every hearth, where the True God is worshipped and his ways acclaimed by all…

'There is a golden realm of light, my son. And it is called the Kingdom of Summer.'

We put on thick woollen cloaks and joined Maelwys for a ride into Maridunum where he passed among his people, visiting their houses, giving gifts of gold coins and silver denarii to the widows and those hard pressed by life. He gave, not as some lords give who expect to buy allegiance or secure future gain with a gift, but out of concern for their need and out of his own true nobility. And there was not one among them that did not bless him in the name of their god.