Merlin

I must admit that my time in the saddle had exacted a price. I was not the freshest flower to bloom in the forest. A bath in the lake would put matters right, I thought, but the exchange began our reunion uncomfortably. And I thought that perhaps I had been mistaken about how it was between us; or that Ganieda had second thoughts about me. She had, after all, had plenty of time to change her mind.

To make matters worse, it was late on the fourth day before I finally found another chance to speak to her alone – had she been avoiding me? – and that left only two days before we were due to depart once more. I felt the time fleeing away, so cornered her in the kitchen behind the great hall.

'If I have said something to offend you,' I told her directly, 'I am sorry. Only tell me and I will make it right.'

She appeared pensive, her mouth pulled into a pretty pout, her brows wrinkled. However, her voice was cold and clear as ice. 'Surely, you flatter yourself, wolf boy. How could you possibly offend me?'

That is for you to say. I can think of nothing I have done.'

'What you do makes no difference to me.' She turned and started away.

'Ganieda!' She froze at her name. 'Why are you doing this?'

Her back was towards me and she did not turn round to answer. 'You seem to imagine that there was something between us.'

'It was not all my imagining, surely.'

'Was it not?' She turned to look at me over her shoulder.

'It was not.' At the moment, I was less certain than I sounded by far.

'Then that is your mistake.' Still, she turned towards me once more.

'Perhaps you are right,' I conceded. 'Are you not the dauntless maid who hunted Twrch Trwyth, Lord Boar of Gelyddon, and killed him with a single thrust? Are you not the lady of this great house? Is not your name a delight on the tongue, and your voice a joy to the ear? If not, then I am indeed mistaken.'

This made her smile. 'Your tongue wags well, wolf boy.'

'That is no answer.'

'Very well, the answer is yes. I am the one of whom you speak.'

‘Then I have made no mistake.' I stepped towards her. 'What is wrong, Ganieda? Why this coldness at our meeting?'

She crossed her arms and turned away again. 'Your people are in the south, and my place is here. It is as simple as that and nothing can change it.'

'Your logic is unassailable, lady,' I replied.

That spun her round. Her eyes snapped angrily. 'Do not think" to make me out a fool!'

‘Then why are you behaving so foolishly?'

Her face contorted in a frown. 'You have said it, and you are right. It is foolish to want something that you cannot have and know you cannot have, and yet go on wanting.'

I could not imagine her lacking anything she wanted – not for long, anyway. 'What do you want that you cannot have, Ganieda?'

'Are you blind as well as stupid?' she asked. The words were harsh, but her voice was soft.

'What is it? Only tell me and I will get it for you if I can,' I promised.

'You, Myrddin.'

I could only blink in confusion.

She lowered her eyes and clasped her hands nervously. 'You asked and now I have told… It is you that I want, Myrddin. More than anything I have ever wanted.'

Silence grew to the point of breaking. I reached out to her, but could not touch her and my hand fell away.

'Ganieda,' my voice sounded painfully coarse in my ears, 'Ganieda, do you not know that you have me already? From the moment I saw you astride the grey stallion, plunging through the stream in a spray of diamonds and the sun dancing in your hair – from that very moment I was yours.'

I thought this would make her happy and, indeed, she smiled. But the smile faded and the sorrowful frown returned. 'Your words are kind… '

'More, they are true.'

She shook her head; the light glinted on the slim silver tore at her throat. 'No,' she sighed.

I stepped closer and took her hand. 'What is wrong, Ganieda?'

'I have already said: your place is in the south, and mine is here with my people. There is nothing to be done about that.'

Already she was thinking further ahead than I. 'Perhaps nothing need be done about it – for now. And later, who knows?'

She came into my arms. 'Why do I love you?' she whispered. 'I never wanted to.'

'It is possible to search for love and find it. More often, I think, love finds us when we are not even searching,' I told her, wincing a little at the presumption of my words. What did I know of such things? 'Love has found us, Ganieda, we cannot turn it away.'

With Ganieda nestled in my arms, the clean-washed scent of her hair filling my nostrils, the living warmth of her against me, the softness of her skin under my hand – these things made me want to believe what I said, and I did. With all my heart I believed it.

We kissed then and with the touching of our lips I knew that she believed it, too.

'Well,' Ganieda sighed, 'this has solved nothing.'

'No. Nothing,' I agreed.

But what did that matter?

Needless to say, when the time came for us to return to Dyfed, I hesitated, hoping to hold off the time of leaving indefinitely. This I actually managed to do for a few days, and they were happy days. Ganieda and I rode in the forest and walked along the lake, we played chess before the fire, I sang to her and played my harp, we talked late into the night so that dawn found us groggy and yawning, but unwilling to pan. In short, we did all the things lovers do and it did not greatly matter whether we did anything at all as long as we were together.

I see her now: her dark hair braided with silver thread entwined; her blue eyes glinting beneath long, dark lashes; the soft, bird's egg blue of her tunic; the swell of her breasts beneath the thin summer fabric; her long, strong legs; the golden bracelets on her sun-browned arms…

She is the essence of female to me: bright mystery, clothed in beauty.

Sadly, I could not hold off the day of leaving for ever. I had at last to return to Dyfed. Still, I put the best face on this that I could devise.

So, while the others readied the horses, Ganieda and I walked hand in hand along the pebbled shingle of the lake. The clear water lapped at the stones under our feet while out on the lake swallows darted and dived, skimming the surface with the tips of their wings.

'When I return, it will be for you, my soul; it will be to take you from your father's hearth to my own. We will Be married.'

If I thought this would cheer her, I was mistaken. 'Let us be married at once. Then you would not have to leave at all. We could stay together always.'

'Ganieda, you know I have no hearth of my own. Before we can be married, I have to make a place for you, and to do that I must first make a place for myself.'

She understood this, for she was noble through and through. She smiled unexpectedly. 'Go then, wolf boy. Make yourself a king, then come and claim your queen. I will be here waiting.'

She leaned close and kissed me. That is so that you will remember who it is that waits for you.' She kissed me again. That is to spur you to your task.' Then, putting her hands on either side of my head, she pressed her lips to mine in a long, passionate kiss. 'And that is to hasten your return.'

'Lady,' I replied when I could breathe once more, 'if you kiss me again I will not be able to leave.'

'Away with you then, my love. Go this very instant, for I would have you return all the sooner.'

'It may take time, Ganieda,' I warned her. Hoping to make our parting easier, I pulled the gold band from my arm. I held it up. This was given me by Vrisa, my Hill Folk sister, so that if ever I found a wife, I could claim her. With this, I claim you, Ganieda.' I slipped the ring of gold onto her wrist. 'And when I return I will make good my claim.'

She smiled, encircling my neck with her arms, drawing me close. 'I live for that day, my love.'