Merlin

'Latin a torment? Surely not.'

He nodded innocently. 'The mother tongue, language of scholars – a torment. But you know what students are. They complain incessantly. "Better a heart broken in love, than a head broken on Latin," they say. So, I tell them, "Fill your heads with Latin, and let God fill your hearts with love – then neither one can be broken.'"

'Was it ever any different?'

'No, perhaps not,' he sighed. 'At least you never gave me such trouble.'

'I gave you more,' I laughed.

Dafyd laughed too. 'You did! You are right, you did. Oh, when I think of the hours we spent tangled in it!' He fell silent, nodding to himself, remembering. In a moment, he shook himself, as if waking from a dream. 'Ah, well, we were young then, eh, Myrddin?'

He cupped a hand to my face in a fatherly gesture. 'But you, my golden-eyed wonder – you are young still. Look at you, a young man's face and frame. Not a grey hair on your head. You are the flower of your race, Myrddin. Praise God, my son, for your long life. He has blessed you among men.'

'What good is a blessing I cannot share?' I asked, seriously. 'I would share what I have with you, Dafyd. You are far more deserving than I.'

'Have I not been blessed also? I am well content in years, Myrddin, never fear. I am satisfied. Do not be sorry for me – and do not denigrate the gift you have been given. The Lord High God has made you as you are for a purpose. Be thankful you are knit with such strong stuff.'

'I will try.'

'You do that.' He turned and indicated his chair. 'Now sit you down and tell me all that has passed with you since last we met.'

I laughed. ‘That will take as many years as we have been parted!'

‘Then you had better begin at once.' He settled himself on the edge of his bed and folded his hands in his lap.

So I began to tell him about Ganieda's death and all that followed from it – the hole in my life, that hideous waste, the years of loss and lament. And the square of honied light slipped lightly across the floor and up the opposite wall as I spoke. I told him about Vortigern – much of which he knew already – and about Aurelius, the new High King, and Uther, his brother, the war leader.

He drank in every word, like a child u'stening to a terrible, fascinating story. And no doubt he would have gone on sitting in awed attention on the edge of his bed had not Gwythelyn come and rapped gently on the door, to break Dafyd's reverie and rouse us to our supper. 'Dinner is being laid,' he informed us. 'I have had a special table set up for you.'

'I will hear more later,' Dafyd said, rising slowly. ‘They will be waiting for me to bless the meal. Come, let us go and eat. Although my appetite is not what it was, tonight I am hungry. See? Just beholding you once more quickens me.'

'It cheers me to hear you say that,' I replied, taking his arm. But he did not need my assistance, for where I expected bone and sagging flesh, there was firm muscle beneath my grip. He did not shuffle as old men do, but walked upright and with vigour.

He ate with vigour, too, enjoying his food, remarking once and again that my coming was a balm to him. Clearly, he enjoyed himself and enjoyed the attention I was getting. 'You cannot blame them for staring, Myrddin. They have never seen one of the Fair Folk, Myrddin, but they have all heard of you. Everyone has heard of the great Emrys. And son, you are the equal of your legend. You have the look of greatness on you.'

Gwythelyn served us with his own hand – so that he could be near to hear what we said, I suppose. Pelleas sat with us, but spoke not a word the whole time, not wishing to intrude on our conversation. When the meal was finished, Dafyd rose and, taking the holy text one of the brothers handed him, began to read out the passage. The monks, still sitting at the board, listened with bowed heads.

'Praise the Lord,

Praise the Lord from the high places,

praise him in the Halls of Light.

Praise him, all his angels,

praise him, all you hosts of heaven.

Praise him, sun and moon,

praise him, all you shining stars.

Praise him, you in the sky realms

and you waters above the skies.

Let them all praise the name of the Lord,

for he spoke forthrightly and they were created.

He established them in place for ever and ever;

he uttered a decree that will never pass away.

Praise the Lord from the earth,

you dragons, and all sea deeps,

lightning and hail, snow and clouds,

stormy winds that do his bidding,

you great mountains and all fair hills,

fruit trees and cedars,

wild beasts and all cattle,

creeping things and flying birds,

kings of the earth and all nations,

you chieftains and all rulers on earth,

young men and maidens,

old men and children.

Let them all praise the name of the Lord,

for his name alone is exalted;

his splendour is above the earth and the heavens.

He has raised up for his people a king,

the praise of all his saints… '

Dafyd paused, and, turning the pages, read again:

'But the father said to his servants, "Hurry! Bring forth the best robe and put it on him; and put a ring on his finger, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf, and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate… "

Here he stopped and closed the book reverently. Gazing at me, he finished the text: ' "For this my son was dead and now is alive again; he was lost and now is found." So, they began to celebrate.'

He raised the holy book to his lips and kissed it, saying, 'May God bless the reading of his word.'

'May God bless the hearing of his word among us,' the monks answered.

'I am happy tonight because my friend, long absent from me, has returned.' He turned and placed a hand on my shoulder. 'My son, my soul, has returned. Great is my rejoicing, great the blessing in my heart.' He lifted an admonishing hand to those before him. 'Tonight, before you close your eyes to sleep, I would have you contemplate the mystery of human love as a reflection of divine love.'

He blessed them then and sent them to their rest. The brothers trooped out of the hall and each wandered off by himself to find a lonely place to pray, as was their custom. Bishop Dafyd and I remained in the hall; chairs had been placed before the hearth for us, for the night had turned chill. Hot mulled wine in wooden cups was brought as we settled before the fire.

'Well, Myrddin, what has brought you?' Dafyd asked, when we had sipped from our drinks.

'Need it be anything more than a wish to see my friend?'

'No, it need not – with ordinary men. But you, Myrddin Emrys, are far from ordinary. Your life is not your own, you know; you serve the kingdom and its needs are yours.'

He looked at me over his cup, eyes shining like a mischievous child's in the firelight. 'Do you wonder that I say this to you? I will tell you something else: you will never rest until this realm is united and at peace.'

'That is a hard prophecy,' I told him, for I foresaw the troubled years stretching out ahead of me.