I refused to be baited like this, no matter how insistently this detective clung to her false accusations.“I didn’t kill my boss,” I ground out from between clenched teeth.
“Uh-huh. That’s what they all say.”
“I don’t know who ‘they’ are, but I’m telling you the truth about me.”
Officer Dash widened her eyes and leaned toward me in what appeared to be an intimidation tactic.“If you didn’t kill him, then who did? Huh?”
“I have no idea. I’d only just arrived when he keeled over, so anyone could have come and gone by then without me knowing. Besides, I don’t even know what killed him, so I can’t really speculate.” Okay, that was probably a bit insensitive, but this whole thing was causing me way too much stress, way too early in the day. I just wanted Officer Dash to accept my innocence and leave me be.
She grew even more frustrated, a sheen of sweat rising to her brow.“Are you even paying attention? Toxicology means poison. We’re just waiting on the particulars.”
“Poison, huh? Well, Harold pretty much always had a coffee in hand. We often joked that he’d set up shop primarily to save on his habit.” I studied my coffee suspiciously, then deciding it was okay took another long swig. Heavens knew I would need all the caffeine I could get to make it through this conversation.
Officer Dash pulled a small notepad out of her pocket and clicked her pen.“We? Who’s we?”
Shoot.
“Oh, um. Just the others who work there. Drake and Kelley are the two who’re usually around for my shifts, but there are others, too.”
She studied me carefully.“So you believe one of your coworkers poisoned Mr. Harris?”
“I didn’t say that. I honestly have no idea. I’m just as shocked by all this as you are.”
“If the poison was delivered via his coffee, then you three baristas on shift had the greatest opportunity to pull off the crime,” she pointed out with a shrug that came across as incredibly unnatural.
I shook my head.“I didn’t say Kelley or Drake did it. Kelley was really, really upset.”
“And Drake?”
Instead of answering, I took another long gulp of coffee. I didn’t want to prove my innocence by throwing someone else under the bus, and there was no rule saying I needed to play Officer Dash’s little game. When I lowered my cup, Officer Dash was still staring at me intently.
She stood and pushed her chair back in toward the table.“If I find out the poison was delivered via his coffee, you better believe I’ll be right back here asking more questions.”
“I didn’t kill Harold, but I’ll do what I can to help you find out who did,” I called out half-heartedly.
She huffed.“They all say that, too,” she said with a sarcastic smirk. “I’ll tell your buddy Drake you said hi.”
6
After Officer Dash saw herself out, I threw on a worn pair of jeans and a fresh t-shirt from my laundry basket, popped another pod into my coffee maker, and waited for it to brew. Before it even had a chance to finish, Merlin came racing in through the pet door, a cat possessed.
“Come, there’s no time to waste!” he shouted, running laps around the kitchen with his tail flat.
“What’s the matter?” I choked out. I may have started getting used to the idea that my cat could talk, but I was still having a hard time following his dramatics.
He stopped in place, fell over onto his side, and yowled.“Wrong! Now we’re both dead.”
“Dead? What?”
“A familiar should always be in tune with her witch. A quick response could very well be the difference between life and death, between freedom and capture,” he lectured from his place on the floor.
I rubbed at my eyes.“You’ve gotta give me some time to catch up here. And to wake up a little.”
Merlin hung his head and let out a dry laugh.“I chose poorly. Of course, I did.”
“Insulting me isn’t going to help me learn any faster,” I pointed out as the last drips of coffee landed in my cup with aplop and aplip.“By the way, when do I get magic?”
Merlin’s laugh came on loud and hysterical as he rolled from side to side on the linoleum kitchen floor. “Magic! You? Hoo, that’s a good one. Thanks, I needed that laugh.”
“It’s not a joke. You forced me into whatever this is, the least you could do is make it worth my while.”
“Oh, my dear sweet human…”
“Gracie,” I reminded him. “I have a name, use it.”
“Gracie,” he spat out, then wrinkled his nose unkindly. “Would you be open to changing that?”
I scowled at Merlin as he dragged himself to his feet.
“Fine, Gracie, it is. And, no, you don’t get magic. That’s not a familiar’s role.”
He was proving to be even more tiresome than Officer Dash this morning.“Then what do you even need me for?”
“In addition to your previous duties of filling my food bowl and cleaning my kitty box, it is now up to you to be my face.”
I stared at him deadpan.
“What part of that was a problem?” Merlin asked, tilting his head to the side.
I crossed my arms over my chest and sighed.“What do you mean by beyour face? That makes zero sense. You already have a face.”
“I can explain by sharing a story. Once there was this ugly guy with a long nose. He loved a gorgeous lady, but was worried she would reject him, so he struck a deal with a brainless pretty boy to—”
“Are you telling me the story of Cyrano de Bergerac right now?”
“Oh, good, so you know it.”
“And in this scenario, I’m your…” I raised my fingers in air quotes. “Brainless pretty boy.”
“Sure. I mean you’re a little better than brainless and a little worse than pretty, but it averages out.”
“Sorry, I can’t deal with this right now.” I grabbed my fresh cup of coffee and marched toward my room, ready to slam the door in his face.
Merlin trailed behind me, too fast for me to shut out without spilling my precious coffee along the way.“I’m sorry. I forget how sensitive you humans are about things like that. I chose you because I believe you have what it takes.”
“To be the brainless face of your operations?” I asked with a growl.
But Merlin either didn’t pick up on my ire or chose to ignore it. “Exactly. I’m so glad you understand now.”
“I’m sorry, but I have bigger plans for my life than that.”
Merlin’s eyes glistened with mischief. “What plans? Tell me, and I can make them happen.”
I stared at him quizzically, afraid to ask for more.
“You don’t have magic, but I do. Remember? Being a familiar is an important job, but not a thankless one. Many of the famous folks in your human history were secretly familiars.”
I crossed my arms and glared at him.“Really? Like who?”
“Well, consider my namesake,” he said with a smile stretched wide between his whiskers.
I balked at this.“Merlin. The wizard?”
“Ha, he wishes! The Merlin you humans know about was actually the familiar for an extremely powerful cat witch. His name was also Merlin, which makes it a bit confusing. The human Merlin wished to achieve power and fame in exchange for aiding his cat. But he became greedy and self-important, which is why the real Merlin cursed him to age backward. Meanwhile, he found a much more suitable familiar in a new human called Arthur. He only wanted power and prestige in the human world, which was much easier for my great ancestor to cope with.”
“So Merlin was a fraud and King Arthur was just somebody’s familiar?” I summed up.
“There’s nojust about it. Familiars are incredibly important. We witches do what we have to in order to keep you happy.”
I raised an eyebrow in question.
“So could I be the next Lady Gaga?”