“Is Luna okay?” asked a black-and-white tuxedo with medium-long fur and a bulging belly.
I smiled, taking care not to show my teeth.“She’s fine. Just having a few pre-wedding jitters is all.”
Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at me blankly.
“Oh, it’s all part of the tradition,” I said with a dismissive laugh. “Nothing to be concerned about. In fact, I was just getting ready to go and get that special canned food I promised you all.”
A cheer circled around the room.
“Well, go on then. No point in dilly-dallying,” Tess the torty said, tapping at my ankle with her paw as if she was trying to physically spur me into action. Either she was helping me with my ruse, or she didn’t realize I was misdirecting everyone so I could make a clean break.
One thing was for sure. I wouldn’t buy a single can of food until we caught the culprit, and nobody could change my mind on that particular point.
I hurried out the door, making sure to grab my keys and jingle them around so the cats would buy my cover story. Once outside, I powerwalked around the side of the house and found Merlin and Mr. Fluffikins still engaged in their colored water droplet exercise.
“Hey, guys. Any updates?” I asked as I moved to stand beside Fluffikins in the near corner of the yard.
No sooner had I spoken than all the rainbow dewdrops crashed down toward the earth and disappeared from sight.
“Merlin, no!” the black cat cried in apparent agony. If you asked me, he may have been overreacting just a touch.
My Maine Coon did a deep yoga stretch, then shook out his fur coat.“Sorry. I got distracted. I wouldn’t have been able to hold it for much longer anyway.” He actually didn’t look sorry at all. In fact, it looked like he’d been looking for an excuse to call it quits for quite some time now.
“But I was so close to recreating the scene perfectly.” Fluffikins now came as close to whining as I’d ever heard him.
“We weren’t close. Wehad it. But I’m not sure how much it helps in the long run.” Merlin finished with his stretches and then trotted over to where Fluffikins and I stood.
“She came from here,” he said, then continued forward, placing each of his steps carefully. “And she went this way.”
He arrived where the tattered pile of the arch’s remains sat blowing gently in the breeze.
“She did her thing, and then she ran this way.”
He took off running toward the spot where the magical herb garden had once stood.“We believe she hid here for a while and then took off running this way once the coast was clear.” He finished his big show by darting around the opposite side of the house.
I glanced toward Fluffikins with raised eyebrows.
“Yes, that’s more or less accurate,” he confirmed with a slight nod.
“Merlin keeps saying ‘she.’ Does that mean you narrowed down the list of suspects?”
“Yes, we think so. Once we isolated the culprit’s set of tracks, we were able to compare them to mine and Merlin’s. Neither was a match. They also weren’t human, so you’re off the hook, too.”
Well, that was a relief.
“Have you and Luna learned anything that could help us narrow it down past that?” Merlin asked, returning to Fluffikins and me.
“We also figured out that the vandal was female. An ear witness heard her muttering but didn’t see what was going on. So I guess we took two separate paths to the same conclusion.”
“Interesting,” Mr. Fluffikins said simply.
“Yes, very,” Merlin added, adopting the same stance as the black cat. He was so cute I could have hugged him then, but I knew that would embarrass him in front of his friend.
“So I guess we keep at it then?” I suggested with a sigh.
“We have nothing left to do out here,” Mr. Fluffikins said as Merlin nodded along.
“Yeah, we’re about done here, I’d say,” Merlin agreed.
“We’ll help question the suspects,” Fluffikins decreed with his nose held high in the air and his whiskers twitching against the night sky.
“Actually, we’re already a pretty tight fit in the bathroom, especially now that Virginia has decided to make herself part of the process.”
“Virginia?” Mr. Fluffikins responded to my words but looked to Merlin for the answer. As a human, I seemed to be lesser-than in his eyes—or rather in all our guests’ eyes.
“Our ghost. Long story, don’t ask,” the other cat said. “Is there something else you need us to do, Gracie?”
“Oh, actually there is one thing.” A small smile crept to my face when I realized I could delegate a less than desirable task to the haughty black cat. “Can you use your pink sparkly teleportation powers to get us some more cans of food? I’d really appreciate it. Okay, thanks. Bye!”
10
“Back so soon?” Tess cried when I returned from outside. So much for sneaking by undetected.
“Don’t worry. Food is on its way,” I said without making eye contact.
“Somehow I don’t believe you,” the torty said with a sneer.
The nerve of this cat.
“I enlisted a helper. Relax, it’s coming,” I muttered as I wound through the clowder and made my way back toward the interrogation chamber Luna and I had set up in the bathroom.
With Tess still hot on my heels, I had to push myself into the bathroom quickly and slam the door behind me so she couldn’t follow. Unfortunately, this resulted in another very unpleasant experience…
“How dare you!” Virginia boomed. Her voice felt as if it originated from deep inside of me, and it now echoed through my chest.
A thousand little spiders skittered over my skin—at least that’s what it felt like. I wanted to run away screaming, but neither my legs nor my lungs seemed to work in that moment.
And then, all those little spiders ripped away from my skin, leaving an icy chill behind. Virginia now floated in front of me, and she wore a look of absolute indignation.
“You’ve violated me,” she choked out. Then, regaining some of her bluster, she shouted, “Violated!”
“I-I didn’t mean to,” I sputtered, raising my hands to rub at my arms in the hopes of bringing some of the warmth back.
“Hmmpf!” the ghost cried as she turned her nose up in the air and phased through the wall, leaving Luna and me alone in the bathroom.
Luna jumped up onto the counter and regarded me with curious blue eyes.“If we knew that was what it took to get rid of her, we could have been doing that all along.”
I shuddered.“You do… what you… want, but pers…onally I’m nev…er doing… that… again.” I had to take several pauses to suck in deep lungfuls of air before I could even make it through that full sentence.
Luna flicked her white poofy tail.“That bad, huh?”
“Worse,” I said, my teeth chattering violently.
“Well, at least she should leave us alone now,” Luna pointed out, her brows pinching in concern. “But Gracie, will you be okay?”
“I’ll be f-f-f-f-fine,” I managed.
She studied me for a long moment before asking,“Shall I go get the next suspect, dear?”
I nodded dumbly, then opened the door so she could do her thing. Rather than closing it all the way, I left it open a crack so that I could watch for her return.
But Tess the torty saw me and pounced toward the door, shouting something about food she’d been promised.
I slammed it right in her face for the second time in a span of just a few minutes.
I loved Luna and Merlin and had no doubt I’d love their kittens, too—but apparently, I was just not a cat person. At least not when it came to this particular group of cats.
I ignored Tess’s indignant meows and the scratching at the door that followed. That is, until Luna called out, “Gracie, open up, dear!”
I did as told, keeping a watchful eye out for Tess as Luna and a small black cat slipped into the bathroom with me.