One of the little bucktoothed monsters sunk his teeth into my neck, and I roared in pain. Served me right for getting so lost in my thoughts when I should have been present in the moment.
I’d only just shook off the last squirrel when another assaulted me and a turbo-charged acorn thwapped into the side of my head.
What the…?I turned sharply to the side as a half dozen more nuts and assorted other projectiles slammed into my face.
Oh, that did it!
Gone were my inhibitions about hurting the cute little animals. They were already dead-ish anyway, and if I didn’t fight back, then one of the cats or I could follow in that unfortunate wake.
Ms. Gracie Springs was no pushover, no sirree!
I began to stomp around, trying to crush the little monsters beneath my feet. However, not even that could keep them down. The flattened beasts rose again, slithering on their bellies as they sought out their revenge.
“There’s too many!” Merlin shouted. “I can’t eat them all!”
Luna’s gorgeous white fur was streaked with blood as she continued to bite and claw and pounce. Even Fluffikins looked worse for wear as he wielded his magic like a whip to keep the undead hoard at a distance.
A roaring engine sounded somewhere out of sight. I jerked my head toward the sound, and one of the combatants used that opportunity to scamper up my side and plant itself on top of my head.
I screamed and threw my hands up, desperately trying to roust the thing before he could chomp down and possibly give me a permanent scar for all to see.
The noisy engine grew louder and louder as the vehicle approached. Whoever it was would see us embroiled in battle: woman and cats versus angry, deformed squirrels. How was I supposed to explain this one away?
Wait, no. Mr. Fluffikins had cast a shield. Our secret was safe, but were we? There were only four of us, and the zombie master seemed to have an endless army of squirrels at his command. Were we sure it was Dash? That whoever this was wanted us alive?
Vroom, vroom. The noisy engine drew closer and closer before turning a sharp corner and revealing a motorcycle and helmeted rider.
A second squirrel climbed onto my head and yanked at my ponytail. I glanced toward Merlin, but he was now pinned like Gulliver waking up on the island of the Lilliputians. It took two dozen of the smaller creatures to hold him down, but they’d managed to overpower him by working together.
The bike revved and picked up speed.
I whipped my head toward the sound, watching in horror as it lifted up onto the sidewalk, coming straight for us with no signs of slowing down.
We may be protected from prying eyes and ears by Fluffikins’s shield, but that wouldn’t stop the motorcycle from crashing into us. The rider didn’t even know he was in danger.
This was it. If the speeding bike didn’t kill me, the zombie squirrels would.
Oh, of all the ways to die!
8
The motorcycle jerked to the side, only narrowly missing me as it took out several of the squirrel fighters, its thick rubber tires driving their little bodies into the cement. Still, the furry zombies twitched and attempted to pry themselves from the ground.
The bike reversed, then came to a stop a few feet away from me. The rider lifted his visor to reveal the sharp features of my fellow barista and kind of friend, Drake.
“Grab the cats and hop on,” he shouted before dropping the visor once more.
Well, he didn’t have to tell me twice, and I didn’t have to tell the cats at all. We piled on, even as the remaining squirrels jumped at us and pelted us with acorns.
I briefly wondered how he’d managed to spot us despite the protective barrier, but I was both too shocked and too grateful to question this lucky circumstance. Besides, magic was weird when it came to Drake. This wasn’t the first time he’d been able to do what others couldn’t.
“Hang on tight!” Drake revved the engine and the bike jolted to life.
The remaining squirrels cried and chirruped, moving impossibly fast in their pursuit.
We were definitely out of the warded bubble now, which meant magical and non-magical alike would be able to see our panicked departure and the angry animal mob giving chase.
Drake kicked things up, moving at least double the legal speed limit now—or at least that’s what it felt like to my unpracticed mind.
Merlin and Luna both dug their nails into me as we took a sharp turn.
Mr. Fluffikins produced some kind of swirly pink magic that, while just hardly visible, firmly glued him to the bike. I wished he would have taken the time to also help my cats, but no.
My poor thighs!
We zoomed past my house, and I moved one of my hands from Drake’s waist to squeeze at his shoulder. “Aren’t we going to stop?”
“No way!” he yelled back, his voice just barely audible over the roaring engine and rushing wind. “Those little suckers looked like they meant business. I’m getting you as far away from here as possible.” Or at least I think that’s what he said.
We drove with only the sounds of the engine and speeding wind to keep us company. After about twenty minutes, we at last came to a stop outside of a stylish bungalow at the edge of town.
“Welcome tomi casa,” Drake announced, parking the bike in the driveway next to a Segway of all things.
“Thanks,” I muttered breathlessly. The world felt like it was still rushing past me even though I stood on solid pavement once more.
Drake lifted his helmet to reveal a swash of hair styled to within an inch of its life with hard, spiky gel.“I’m glad I didn’t miss that fight. Zombie squirrels? Who knew such a thing even existed? I mean, I’d hoped but…”
“Wait, how did you know they were zombies?” I asked, my mouth gaping open in shock.
He bent down to check his hair in one of the bike’s mirrors and winked at himself. “Oh, you know. I like to know a little bit about a lot of bit. Zombies included. And that vacant expression in their eyes was a dead giveaway.”
“Undead,”I murmured, unable to help the small smile that played at my lips. Leave it to Drake to bring his signature levity to any situation.
“Why were they attacking you, anyway?” he asked with an inquisitive gaze, turning his full attention to me now that he knew his hair still looked the way he wanted.
“Um…” I started, then immediately stopped.
Because seriously, how could I even begin to explain? Earlier, he’d seen Virginia’s ghost and found out that my cats were magical and could talk, but we’d given him a special potion to wipe his memory and cover our tracks. Despite our best efforts, though, he refused to attribute all the strange things that had happened that night to a wild dream as we hadplanned. He knew something was up, which meant I had to tread lightly here.
But how could I possibly explain away a homicidal squirrel hoard?
Mr. Fluffikins saved me from having to explain myself when he hopped away from the bike and rounded on Drake.“Why, if it isn’t just the man I was looking for,” he said with an unhappy smile splashed across his face.
“What’s up, little cat dude?” Drake asked with a laugh, leading us all through his garage and into his home.
Fluffikins kept his tail low and curled at the end.“I’m here to get you registered with your local supernatural board. It seems you’ve been creating quite a few issues during your nocturnal wanderings.”
Drake stopped inside the doorway and stared at the bossy black cat through squinted eyes.“Come again now?”
Fluffikins entered behind him and then hopped up onto the counter, refusing to break eye contact with Drake.“Have you registered? If not, I’m taking you in right now.”
Luna, Merlin, and I stood just outside the door, watching the scene unfold with wide eyes. I think we realized what was happening before Drake did.