They had a quick dinner on the back deck—hot dogs on the grill—before Garrett drove them to the airport. After Theresa and Kevin had safely boarded, Garrett stayed a few minutes, watching until the plane finally began to back out of the gate. When it drew out of sight, he walked back to the truck and returned home, already watching the clock to see how long it would be until he could call her that evening.
In their seats, Theresa and Kevin thumbed through magazines. Halfway through the first leg of their trip home, Kevin suddenly turned to her and asked:
“Mom, do you like Garrett?”
“Yes, I do. But more important, do you like him?”
“i think he’s cool. For a grownup, I mean.”
Theresa smiled. “You two seemed to have hit it off. Are you glad we came?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I’m glad.” He paused, fidgeting with the magazine. “Mom, can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Are you gonna marry Garrett?”
“I don’t know. Why?”
“Do you want to?”
It took her a few moments to answer. “I’m not sure. I do know that I don’t want to marry him right now. We’re still getting to know each other.”
“But you might want to marry him in the future?”
“Maybe.”
Kevin looked relieved. “I’m glad. You seemed like you were really happy when you were with him.”
“Could you tell?”
“Mom, I’m twelve. I know more than you think.”
She reached over and touched his hand. “Well, what would you have said if I’d told you I did want to marry him now?”
He was quiet for a moment. “I guess I’d wonder where we were gonna live.”
For the life of her, Theresa couldn’t think of a good response. Where indeed?
Chapter 11
Four days after Theresa left Wilmington, Garrett had another dream, only this time it was about Catherine. In the dream they were in a grassy field bordered by a cliff overlooking the ocean. They were walking together, holding hands and talking, when Garrett said something that made her laugh. All at once she broke away from him. Looking over her shoulder and laughing, she called for Garrett to chase her. He did, laughing as well, feeling much as he had the day they were married.
Watching her run, he couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she was. Her flowing hair reflected the light of the high yellow sun, her legs were lean and moving rhythmically, effortlessly. Her smile, despite the fact she was running, looked easy and relaxed, as if she were standing still.
“chase me, Garrett. Can you catch me?” she called.
The sound of laughter after she said it floated in the air around him, sounding musical.
He was slowly gaining on her when he noticed that she was heading toward the cliff. In her excitement and joy, she didn’t seem to realize where she was going.
But that’s ridiculous , he thought. She has to know .
Garrett called for her to stop, but instead she began to run faster.
She was approaching the edge of the cliff.
With a feeling of certain dread, he saw that he was still too far behind her to catch her.
He ran as fast as he could, screaming for her to turn around. She didn’t appear to hear him. He felt the adrenaline rush through his body, fed by a paralyzing fear. “Stop, Catherine!” he shouted, his lungs exhausted. “The cliff—you’re not watching where you’re going!” The more he shouted, the softer his voice became, until it turned into a whisper.
Catherine kept on running, unaware. The cliff was only a few feet away.
He was closing ground.
But he was still too far behind.
“Stop!” he screamed again, though this time he knew she couldn’t hear it. His voice had diminished to nothing. The panic he felt then was greater than anything he’d ever known. With everything he had, he willed his legs to move faster, but they began to tire, turning heavier with every step he took.
I’m not going to make it , he thought, panicking.
Then, just as suddenly as she had broken away, she stopped. Turning to face him, she seemed oblivious of any danger.
she stood only inches from the edge.
“Don’t move,” he shouted, but again it came out in a whisper. He stopped a few feet from her and held out his hand, breathing heavily.
“Come toward me,” he pleaded. “You’re right on the edge.”
She smiled and glanced behind her. Noticing how close she was to falling, she turned toward him.
“Did you think you were going to lose me?”
“Yes,” he said quietly, “and I promise not to ever let it happen again.”
* * *
Garrett woke and sat up in bed, staying awake for several hours afterward. When he finally fell back to sleep, it was fitful at best, and it was almost ten o’clock the next morning before he was able to get up. Still exhausted and feeling depressed, he found it impossible to think about anything but the dream. Not knowing what to do, he called his father, who met him for breakfast in their usual place.
“I don’t know why I feel this way,” he told his father after a few minutes of small talk. “I just don’t understand it.”
His father didn’t answer. Instead he watched his son over his coffee cup, remaining silent as his son went on.
“It’s not like she did anything to upset me,” he continued. “We just spent a long weekend together, and I really care for her. I met her son, too, and he’s great. It’s just that . . . I don’t know I don’t know if I’m going to be able to keep this up.”
Garrett paused. The only sound came from the tables around them.
“Keep what up?” Jeb Blake finally asked.
garrett stirred his coffee absently. “I don’t know whether I can see her again.”
His father cocked an eyebrow but didn’t reply. Garrett went on.
“Maybe it’s just not meant to be. I mean, she doesn’t even live here. She’s a thousand miles away, she’s got her own life, she’s got her own interests. And here I am, living down here and leading an entirely separate life. Maybe she’d do better with someone else, someone she could see on a regular basis.”
He thought about what he’d said, knowing that he didn’t quite believe himself. Still, he didn’t want to tell his father about the dream.
“I mean, how can we build a relationship if we don’t see each other very often?”
Again his father said nothing. Garrett carried on, as if talking to himself.
“If she lived here and I could see her every day, I think I’d feel differently. But with her being gone . . .”
He trailed off, trying to make sense of his thoughts. After a while he spoke again.
“I just don’t see how we can make it work. I’ve thought about it a lot, and I don’t see how it could be possible. I don’t want to move to Boston, and I’m sure she doesn’t want to move here, so where would that leave us?”
Garrett stopped and waited for his father to say something—anything—in response to what he’d said up to that point. But for a while, he didn’t make a sound. Finally he sighed and looked away.
“It sounds to me like you’re making excuses,” Jeb said quietly. “you’re trying to convince yourself, and you’re using me to listen to yourself talk.”
“No, Dad, I’m not. I’m just trying to figure out this whole thing.”
“Who do you think you’re talking to, Garrett?” Jeb Blake shook his head. “Sometimes, I swear you think I just fell off the turnip truck and bumbled through life without learning anything along the way. But I know exactly what you’re going through. You’ve gotten so caught up in being alone that you’re afraid of what might happen if you actually find someone else that can take you away from it.”