Also by Meg Cabot
The Princess Diaries
The Princess Diaries: Take Two
The Princess Diaries: Third Time Lucky
All American Girl
Look out for more Meg Cabot books!
The Princess Diaries: Give Me Five
The Princess Diaries: Six Appeal
Nicola and the Viscount
Victoria and the Rogue
The Princess Diaries:
Mia Goes Fourth
Meg Cabot
Many thanks to the usual suspects: Beth Ader, Jennifer Brown, Barb Cabot, Sarah Davies, Laura Langlie,
Abby McAden, David Walton and especially Benjamin Egwatz. Special thanks to the Beckham family,
specifically Julie, for so generously allowing me the use of Molly's sock-swallowing habit!
'If I was a princess - a real princess,' she murmured, 'I could scatter largess to the populace. But
even if I am only a pretend princess, I can invent little things to do for people. Things Eke this.
She was just as happy as if it was largess. I'll pretend that to do things people like is scattering largess.'
A Little Princess
Frances Hodgson Burnett
Friday, January 1, Midnight,
Royal Genovian Bedchamber
My New Year's Resolutions
by Princess Amelia Mignonette Grimaldi Thermopolis Renaldo
aged 14 and 8 months
1. I will stop biting my fingernails, including the fake ones.
2. I will stop lying. Grandmere knows when I am lying anyway, thanks to my traitorous nostrils which flare every
time I tell a fib, so it's not like there is even a point in trying to be less than truthful.
3. I will never veer from the prepared script while delivering televised addresses to the Genovian public.
4. I will stop accidentally saying French swear words in front of the ladies-in-waiting.
5. I will stop letting Francois, my Genovian bodyguard, teach me French swear words.
6. I will apologize to the Genovian Olive Growers' Association for that thing with the pits.
7. I will apologize to the Royal Chef for slipping Grandmere's dog that slice of foie gras (even though I have told the
palace kitchen repeatedly that I do not eat meat).
8. I will stop lecturing the Royal Genovian Press Corps on the evils of paparrazism.
9. I will achieve self-actualization.
10. I will stop thinking so much about Michael Moscovitz.
Oh, wait. It's OK for me to think about Michael Moscovitz, BECAUSE HE IS MY BOYFRIEND NOW!!!!!!!!
MT + MM = TRUE LOVE4-EVER
Saturday, January 2,
Royal Genovian Parliament
You know, I am supposed to be on vacation. Seriously. I mean, this is my Winter Break. I am supposed to be having
fun, mentally recharging for the coming semester, which is not going to be easy, as I will be moving on to Algebra II,
not to mention Health and Safety class. Every other kid I know is spending his or her Winter Break in Aspen, skiing,
or in Miami, getting tanned.
But me? What am I doing for my Winter Break?
Oh, well, right now I am just sitting in on a session of the Royal Genovian Parliament, pretending to be paying attention
while these really old guys in wigs go on about whether or not to give free parking to the patrons of Genovia's many casinos.
Oh, yeah. That's a good way to spend the precious few weeks I have off from school. At this rate I will absolutely return to New York well-rested and ready for whatever awaits me in my second semester of my freshman year at Albert Einstein
High School. Thanks, Dad. Thanks, Grandmere. Thanks so much.
No one even wants to hear my opinion about the whole parking thing, of course. That if we don't charge for parking it will encourage more people to drive over the French and Italian borders instead of taking the train, clogging up Genovia's
already very busy streets and causing yet more strain on our infrastructure.
But why should anyone be interested in what I have to say on the matter? I am just the Princess of Genovia. My opinion obviously doesn't matter. Which would be why no one is listening to me, just arguing over the top of my head with my dad, who fortunately shares my opinion that a nominal parking charge - I'd jack it up to about thirty Euros a day, if I were him —
is appropriate.
Fine, whatever. Like I care. I am pretending to take notes, since Grandmere told me I had to, as one day I will be sitting
in my dad's chair (sadly not the throne - that is in the throne room back at the palace) in the front of Parliament and have
to make all the decisions. But really I am recording my innermost thoughts and feelings in this book. Like the fact that I think Interior Minister Pepin looks exactly like this howler monkey I once saw on World's Funniest Animals. Or that Secretary Renard needs to start watching his saturated fats intake.
Not that it is at all princesslike to comment on the physical inadequacies of others. Especially when I have so many physical inadequacies of my own.
But it isn't like I don't have enough to worry about. I mean, I can barely bring myself to believe that a whole new year has actually started. Seriously. So much has happened to me since last year - enough that probably a better-adjusted person
might have totally lost it. Fortunately, since I was born a biological freak, and am therefore very used to adversity, I was
able to take it all in my stride, for the most part.
But if I had been anyone else - like Katie Holmes, or maybe one of the Olsen twins - I so fully would have not been able to deal. Because, you know, Katie and Mary Kate and Ashley are totally gorgeous and self-actualized, and never have to
worry about anything. Whereas I, in less than a year's period, have been through so much trauma and angst it is a wonder
I am not on Oprah every single day, pouring my heart out to Dr Phil. I mean, in the last four months alone, I have found