Tuesday, January 12, 10 a.m.,
Session of Genovian Parliament
Jane Eyre is boring, so far nothing but orphanages, bad haircuts and a lot of coughing.
Tuesday, January 12, 2 p.m.,
Still in a Session of Genovian Parliament
Jane Eyre looking up. She has gotten a job as a governess in the house of very rich guy, Mr Rochester.
Mr Rochester is bossy, much like Wolverine, or Michael.
Tuesday; January 12, 5 p.m.,
Still Sitting in on Session of Genovian Parliament
Mr Rochester = total hottie. Going on my list of Totally Hot Guys between Hugh Jackman and that
Bosnian dude from ER.
Tuesday, January 12, 7 p.m.,
Ivory Dining Room
Jane Eyre = total idiot! It was not Mr Rochester's fault! Why is she being so mean to him?
Wednesday, January 13, 3 a,m.,
Royal Genovian Bedchamber
OK, I guess I understand what Grandmere was getting at with this book. But seriously, that whole part where Mrs Fairfax warns Jane not to get too chummy with Mr. Rochester before the wedding was just because back in those days there was
no birth control. Well, and also the part about him already having a wife.
Still - and I may have to consult with Lilly on this - I am pretty sure it is unwise to pattern one's behaviour on the advice
of a fictional character, especially one from a book written in 1846.
However, I do get the general gist of Mrs Fairfax's warning, which was this: Do not chase boys. Chasing boys can lead
to horrible things like mansions going up in flames, hand amputations and bigamous marriages. Have some self-respect
and don't let things go too far before the wedding day.
Which in modern parlance translates to Don't Put Out Until Senior Prom.
I get this. I so get this.
But what is Michael going to think if I just stop calling???? I mean, he might think I don't like him any more!!!!
I guess that is Grandmere's point. I guess you are supposed to keep boys on their toes this way.
I don't know. But it seemed to work with Grandpa. And for Jane, in the end. I guess I could give it a try.
But it won't be easy. It is nine o'clock at night in Florida right now. Who knows what Michael is doing? He might have
gone down to the beach for a stroll and met some beautiful, homeless musician girl, who is living under the boardwalk
and making a living off the tourists, for whom she plays wryly observant folk songs on her Stratocaster. She could be
wearing fringy things and be all busty and snaggle-toothed, like Jewel. No boy could be expected just to walk on by
when a girl like that is standing there.
No. Grandmere and Mrs Fairfax are right. I've got to resist. I've got to resist the urge to call him. When you are less
available, it drives men wild, just like in Jane Eyre.
Though I think changing my name and running away to live with distant relations like Jane did might be going a bit too far.
Five days, ten hours, and fifty-eight minutes until I see him again.
Thursday; January 14, 11 p.m.,
Royal Genovian Bedchamber
Tina spent all day yesterday reading Jane Eyre as per my recommendation and agrees with me that there might be
something to the whole letting-boys-chase-you-as-opposed-to-you-chasing-them thing. So she has decided not to
email or call Dave first.
Lilly, however, refuses to take part in this scheme, as she says game-playing is for children and that her relationship with
Boris is one that cannot be qualified by modern-day psycho-sexual mating practices. According to Tina (I can't call Lilly because Michael might pick up the phone and then he'll think I'm chasing him), Lilly says that Jane Eyre was one of the first feminist manifestos, and, though she doesn't feel that she needs Jane's brilliant guidance, she heartily approves of us using
it as a model for our romantic relationships. Although she sent a warning to me through Tina that I shouldn't expect Michael
to ask me to marry him until after he's gotten at least one post-graduate degree as well as a start-up position with a company that pays two hundred thousand dollars or more a year, plus an annual performance bonus.
Lilly also added that the one time she saw him ride a horse, Michael looked way unromantic, so I shouldn't get my hopes
up that he's going to be jumping any stiles like Mr Rochester any time soon.
But I find this hard to believe. I am sure Michael would look very handsome on a horse.
Tina mentioned that Lilly is still upset about the movie of my life they showed the other day. Tina saw it, though, and said it wasn't as bad as Lilly is making it out to be. She said the lady who played Principal Gupta was hilarious.
But Tina wasn't in the movie, on account of her dad having found out about it beforehand and threatening the filmmakers with
a lawsuit if they mentioned his daughter's name anywhere. Mr. Hakim Baba worries a lot about Tina getting kidnapped by a rival oil sheikh. Tina says she wouldn't mind being kidnapped, though, if the rival oil sheikh was cute and willing to commit to
a long-term relationship and remembered to buy her one of those diamond heart pendants from Kay Jewelers on Valentine's Day.
Tina says the girl who played Lana Weinberger in the movie did a fabulous job and should get an Emmy. Also that she
didn't think Lana was going to be too happy about how she was portrayed, as a jealous wannabe.
Also the guy who played Josh was a babe. Tina is trying to find his email address.
Tina and I vowed that if either of us ever felt like calling our boyfriends, instead we would call one another. Unfortunately,
I have no mobile so it is not like Tina will be able to reach me if I am in the middle of knighting someone or anything. But
I am fully going to hit my dad up for a StarTAC phone tomorrow. Hey, I am heir to the throne of an entire country. At the