Did you see that? They are meeting at Cosi for lunch!
Yes. He so loves her.
It's so cute when teachers are in love.
So are you nervous about your breakfast meeting tomorrow?
Hardly. THEY are the ones who should be nervous.
Are you going all by yourself? Your mom and dad aren't coming with you, are they?
Please. I can handle a bunch of movie executives on my own, thanks. God, how can they keep
stuffing this infantile swill down our throats,year after year. Don't they think we know by now that tobacco kills? Hey, did you get all your homework done, or were you up all night instant messaging
my brother instead?
Both.
You two are so cute, it makes me want to puke. Almost as cute as Mr Wheeton and Mademoiselle Klein.
Shut up.
God, this is boring. Want to make another list?
OK, you start.
Lilly Moscovitz's Guide to What's Hot and What's Not on TV
(with commentary by Mia Thermopolis):
Seventh Heaven
Lilly: A complex look at one family's struggles to maintain Christian mores in an ever-evolving, modern-day society. Fairly well acted and occasionally moving, this show can turn 'preachy', but does depict the problems facing normal families with surprising realism, and only occasionally sinks to the banal.
Mia: Even though the dad is a minister and everyone has to learn a lesson at the end of every episode, this show is pretty good. High point When the Olsen twins guest-starred. Low point When the show's cosmetician gave the youngest girl straight hair.
Popstars
Lilly: A ridiculous attempt to pander to the lowest common denominator, this show puts its young stars through
a humiliatingly public 'audition', then zeroes in as the losers cry and winners gloat.
Mia: They take a bunch of attractive people who can sing and dance and make them audition for a place in a pop group, and
some of them get it and some of them don't, and the ones who do are instant celebrities who then crack up, all the while
wearing interesting and generally navel-baring outfits. How could this show be bad?
Sabrina the Teenage Witch
Lilly: Though based on comic-book characters, this show is surprisingly affable, and even occasionally amusing. Although, sadly, actual Wiccan practices are not described. The show could benefit from some research into the age-old religion that has, through the centuries, empowered millions, primarily females. The talking cat is a bit suspect: I have not read any believable documentation that would support the possibility of transfiguration.
Mia: Totally awesome during the high school/Harvey years. Goodbye Harvey - goodbye show.
Baywatch
Lilly: Puerile garbage.
Mia: Most excellent show of all time. Everyone is good-looking; you can fully follow every plotline, even while instant messaging;
and there are lots of pictures of the beach, which is great when you are in dark gloomy Manhattan in February. Best episode:
when Pamela Anderson Lee got kidnapped by that half-man/half-beast, who after plastic surgery became a professor at UCLA. Worst episode: anytime Mitch adopts a son.
Powerpuff Girls
Lilly: Best show on television.
Mia: Ditto. Nuffsaid.
Roswell High
Lilly: An intriguing look at the possibility that aliens live among us. The fact that they might be teenagers, and extraordinarily attractive ones at that, stretches the show's credibility somewhat.
Mia: Hot guys with alien powers. What more can you ask? High point Future Max; any time anybody made out in the eraser
room. Low point: when that skanky Tess showed up.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Lilly: Feminist empowerment at its peak, entertainment at its best. The heroine is a lean, mean, vampire-killing machine, who worries as much about her immortal soul as she does messing up her hair. A strong role model for
young women - nay, people of all sexes and ages will benefit from the viewing of this show. All of television should
be this good. The fact that this show has, for so long, been ignored by the Emmys is a travesty.
Mia: If only the Buffster could just find a boyfriend who doesn't need to drink platelets to survive. High point
any time there's kissing. Low point none.
Gilmore Girls
Lilly: Thoughtful portrayal of single mother struggling to raise teenage daughter in a small, northeastern town.
Mia: Many, many, many, many, many, many cute boys. Plus it is nice to see single moms who sleep with their kid's teacher getting respect instead of lectures from the Moral Majority.
Charmed
Lilly: While this show at least accurately portrays historical Wiccan practices, the spells these girls routinely cast are completely unrealistic. You cannot, for instance, travel through time or between dimensions without creating rifts in the space-time continuum. Were these girls really to transport themselves to seventeenth-century Puritan America, they would arrive there with their oesophaguses ripped inside out, not neatly stuffed into a corset, as no one can
travel through a wormhole and maintain their mass integrity. It is a simple matter of physics. Albert Einstein must
be spinning in his grave.
Mia: Hello, witches in hot clothes. Like Sabrina, only better because the boys are cuter, and sometimes they are
in danger and the girls have to save them.