He turned to his left, in time to hear a phhhhht sound and the snap of bone and his partner's grunt as his half-head slumped forward and hit the large, oaken table.
"What the fuck," he said, jumping up from his seat and looking around him. He saw nothing.
"Sorry I couldn't come up with anything in mauve," a voice said to him from out of the emptiness.
"Who's that?" Ernie stuttered.
68
He felt himself pushed from behind. He turned quickly but no one was there.
"I'm going apeshit nuts," he said aloud.
"Ever sell that car of yours?" the disembodied voice asked.
Something slapped Ernie in the face, but again there was no one to see.
"I'm dreaming," he said.
"No, you're not," the voice said.
"What is this?" Ernie demanded in a voice made loud with fear.
"Just think mauve," the voice said. Ernie felt some kind of touch on his head and just before he died, he remembered the meeting they had had with the wimpy looking guy with the funny black paint.
No. It couldn't be him. Could it?"
Phhhhhhht. Crack.
"Three more?" Remo asked Smith from the phone in his New York hotel room, overlooking Central Park.
"That's right," said Smith and gave Remo the address of the Friends of Inventors. "It's a phony operation that takes money from would-be inventors but it doesn't market anything."
"All crushed skulls?" Remo asked.
"Correct," Smith said. "But there was something else too. There was a note written in mauve-colored paint on the table."
"What'd the note say?" Remo asked.
"It said, 'This is the last one I do for free.' "
"And another amateur succumbs to the lure of money and turns pro," Remo said.
69
"And for a pro, the only game in town is the Emir of Bislami," Smith said. "Chiun was right about the paint by the way. It's a special metallic compound that absorbs all light hitting it."
"Would it make someone invisible?"
"In the dark," Smith said. "All you could see is a black outline against a lighter background. But you couldn't pick up any details because they wouldn't send any light to your eye."
"But in daylight?"
"In daylight, if our man were wearing some kind of painted costume like this," Smith said, "you would see the black silhouette of a man. Almost like a shadow."
"Then he can't function in the light," Remo said.
"No. I don't see how he could," Smith agreed.
"Remember I told you to get dogs for the Emir's island?" Remo said.
"Yes. They're already there."
"Install floodlights, too," Remo said. "All over. Make the place look like Yankee Stadium during a night game."
"That's a good idea," Smith said.
The words were so strange to Remo's ear that he said, "Say that again."
"I said that was a good idea," Smith said.
"Now I can die happy," Remo said.
"Don't die at all. And don't let anyone else die," Smith said as he hung up the telephone.
Remo replaced the receiver and turned to Chiun.
"Three more."
"So I heard. I am not yet so old that my ears fan to function. The Emperor seemed worried."
"He is worried about the Emir," Remo said.
70
"We have never opposed an invisible man before," Chiun said.
Remo scowled. "Just a guy in a black suit."
"You can wish that," Chiun said. "But there are six people with only pieces left of their skulls who would not agree with you."
For all the mayhem that had been committed in the conference room of the Friends of Inventors, the room looked as if it had been sent out to the dry cleaners for washing and pressing.
The rug was spotless. Chairs were neatly placed around the table. Blackboards for chart presentations were neatly stacked against a wall.
The only note that seemed out of place in this symphony of order was the note written in paint on the conference table. "This is the last one I do for free."
Mauve, Smith had called it.
"Chiun," Remo said. The Korean did not answer. Remo looked up and saw Chiun standing at the light switch. He flicked it and the overhead chandelier lights went off. He flicked the switch again. The lights came back on.
Again. Off.
Again. On.
"Chiun, when you're finished inventing electricity, will you come here?" Remo said.
The Korean walked smoothly toward the table.
"See this. The purple paint. That's the note the killer left," Remo said.
Chiun shook his head. "No," he said.
"What do you mean 'no'?"
"That's not purple. It's mauve," Chiun said.
71
Remo decided it was mauve. But it still looked like purple.
"Why were you fooling around with the light?"
Remo asked. ¦ . ,
"I was trying to learn something," Chiun said.
"What was it?"
"I have not yet learned it," Chiun said.
Remo stepped into the outer office where the blonde receptionist sat preening herself. Stacked in front of her was a comb, fingernail polish, liquid makeup, mascara, and four different kinds of lipstick and lip gloss.
"Ain't it a tragedy?" she said to Remo.
"I can see you're having trouble bearing up."
"They wasn't bad. I mean, for those kind," she said. She breathed her chest at Remo, who wondered if good manners would dictate his fleeing in fright to the other side of the room.
"Who was here last night when this happened?" Remo asked.
"Just Willy, the janitor. He was cleaning one of the other offices. Want me to get him?"
"Please. And then I want you to go through your files," Remo said. "Get me the name and address of everybody who's been here in the past six months. Every client. And what they invented."
"Geez. That could take a half-hour maybe."
"Do it and I'll put you in for overtime," Remo said. "But call Willy first."
Willy the janitor had white hair, bifocals and a scowl that looked genetic.
"Did you hear anything last night, Willy?" Remo asked. "Or see anything?"
72
"Well," the old man said. He clamped his lips shut as if that constituted a full answer.
'Willy, it's important that you tell us," Remo
"What's in it for me?" Willy said.
"Let me discuss this with Mister Willy," Chiun whispered. "You don't know how to talk to old people." His green satin kimono flowed around him as he walked to the old man.
His hand darted out of his sleeve and he caught Willy's right ear between two fingers.
"Now answer questions," Chiun said.
"Owwwww. Yes sir."
"Willy will help now," Chiun said.
"I'm really glad you understand the mature mind," Remo said.
"All minds are alike where pain is concerned," Chiun said.
Once started talking, there seemed to be no way to quiet Willy the janitor.
"I didn't want anyone to think I was senile, but I heard it. I heard a voice. And it wasn't one of the voices of the partners 'cause I knew them voices 'cause they all sound like Long Island, but this voice wasn't like that, but when I went inside I didn't see nothing, but I know I heard it. And I ain't senile either. And I heard him say, 'This is the last one I do for free.' But I didn't see anybody. And then I had to call the police, and then I cleaned up that mess. It was awful, somebody left me this bloody, stinking mess and you don't know how long it took me to get that room clean again."
"But you saw nobody."
73
"Just them bodies. Awful it was, brains and all, all over."
"The voice you heard. What did it sound like?"
"Just a voice. Soft like. But a man's voice. A soft, man's voice, like he was a whisperer, like you know how some people are."