Let her go? It wasn’t happening and now wasn’t the time to tell her that was something he would never do. What she definitely didn’t know was that he had never let her go.
“I won’t leave you alone.” He had to force himself to speak past the lump in his throat.
As he stared down at her he was only barely aware of the doorbell ringing.
The door opened before Logan or Crowe could reach it and check for danger. Cami wished they had made it.
The danger wasn’t physical, it was so much more dangerous than that.
Stepping into the small den her father had once used, Cami could feel her insides tightening in trepidation as she faced her father.
She really looked nothing like him.
She remembered so many times, staring at him and wondering how she had acquired traits and a sense of decency that she knew he didn’t have.
“Is Mother doing well?” she asked as he moved naturally to the large desk she had taken as her own.
He sat down in the large padded chair comfortably and stared back at her.
Cami knew this wasn’t going to go well.
It never had whenever she had faced him across the table in the past.
His lips were curled into a sneer, his brown eyes filled with disgust.
I see the rumors are true,” he mocked her, his tone low. “You’ve not only insisted in fucking the murderers but you have them living with you.” His gaze flicked over her. “Are you fucking all of them?”
“Is it any of your business?” she asked him.
His lip curled tighter. “You’ve managed to get my Jaymi killed and now you’ve also turned my brother against me.”
“I had nothing to do with Jaymi’s murder.” She was already too raw, too shredded inside to take the blame for it.
He leaned forward against the desk. “She died for you,” he accused her. “To collect medicine you begged her for.” He raked her with a look filled with bitter hatred. “You could have waited until the next morning.”
She couldn’t deal with this.
She was savaged from the secrets she had revealed to Rafe, the memories raking her soul as the hatred in his gaze seemed to increase. “You lost your child, Cami, and I thought it only fitting punishment.”
Vicious, cruel, the sound of the satisfaction in his tone shocked her.
“Why?” she whispered painfully, shocked. “Why would you say something like that to me?”
“Because you deserved it.” He rose from the chair then, glaring back at her. “You took Jaymi from the parents who loved her, and you thought your presence would help with that loss?”
“I thought you had a spark of decency was what I believed,” she whispered painfully. “I learned you didn’t a long time ago, though. And it was no more than the truth.”
The cold hard smile he directed her way should have hurt her. It should have at least hurt for the simple fact that he was her father.
“Why should I?” he asked, his voice dropping further to ensure Rafe didn’t hear them, she suspected. “You weren’t my child, Cami. You’re nothing to me. So why should I care?”
It didn’t hurt, that was the first thing she noticed. The bitterness was there. The pain was there, but Cami found herself unable to care about that either.
She stared back at him, wondering though if Jami had known …
“That’s enough.”
Cami swung around as Rafe pushed the door opened and stepped inside.
He stood tall, broad, strong.
And Cami could feel the emotions tearing free inside her then.
“Bastard,” Mark Flannigan growled insultingly. “You have no say here.”
“No, I do.” Cami swung around then and this time, she let her gaze rake over him in satisfaction. “You haven’t hurt me, Mark. You didn’t even surprise me. You have no idea how proud I am that you are no father of mine.”
His brows lowered furiously as his hands fisted at his side.
“It’s time you left,” she told him. “Leave now, and don’t bother coming back. Because you’re not wanted any more than you ever wanted me.”
CHAPTER 19
Cami stalked into the bedroom.
She’d intended to retreat to her room alone. To hide, lick her wounds, and find a way to repair the shattering of her defenses.
Rafe wasn’t allowing her to rebuild anything, though. He was behind her, surrounding her as the door closed behind him, and she felt him watching her silently.
“Could I please have some privacy?” she asked, aware of the belligerence in her tone as she turned back to him, her insides shaking with the emotions flooding her.
“So you can turn into that pretty little robot you were before you broke down and told me about our child?” He arched his brows in surprise that she would ask. “I doubt it, kitten. But you can try to convince me if you want.”
Try to convince him?
“And how am I supposed to do that?” Then his words sank in, and she felt her expression tighten in anger. “I was never a robot.”
Rafe could feel himself breaking apart inside. Chunks of his soul being shredded as he stared in her eyes and saw the pain, the depth of it, and the years she had all but carried it alone.
“Do you know what amazes me, Cami?” His voice softened.
“What?” She was breathing roughly, her breasts rising hard and fast as she glared back at him.
“That you wanted my baby.”
Her eyes darkened.
She’d just learned the man she had called Father all her life hadn’t been. That he thought, at fifteen, she should have suffered her sister’s fate, and that his hatred for her, that she hadn’t, went soul-deep, and that hadn’t seemed to faze her.
What had fazed her was revealing to Rafe that she had lost their child.
“Why didn’t you tell me before now?”
She shook her head.
“Cami, answer me.” Moving to her, he gripped her chin gently, aware of the bruising of her flesh, and turned her gaze to him. “Why?”
Her lips trembled. “You were safe. If I had told you, you would have come back here. They might have tried to hurt you again.”
Nothing could have shocked him more.
“What?” He could hear the confusion in his own voice.
“The barons, this town.” Swallowing tightly, she was obviously fighting her tears, her pain as she continued. “They wanted to destroy you and Logan and Crowe. I wasn’t going to help them, Rafe. I couldn’t.”
A single tear slipped free.
“But, Cami, that was my child, too,” he said softly.
“And if I hadn’t lost our child, I would have told you.” That intriguing ring of blue around the soft gray seemed to darken. “I would have told you then, Rafer. I would never have taken something so precious away from you.”
And she wouldn’t have.
He framed her face with his hands. “Cami, I would have still held our child as precious,” he whispered.
“And everyone here would still be waiting to find a way to destroy everything you were fighting for. They would have convicted you for Jaymi’s murder, Rafe, and for the other girls’. They would have stolen your life if they had the chance.”
“Instead, you let Mark Flannigan steal yours.” Lowering his head, he touched her forehead with his.
“He hasn’t had that power since he refused to allow me to talk to Mom when I lost our child,” she revealed. “Probably a lot sooner.”
God, how alone had she been?
He hadn’t been here for her. He hadn’t protected her as he had sworn to, not just to Cami, but also to himself when he’d realized how much she cared for him so long ago.