“Poor man.”
“That’s why I’m so worried about going on.”
“About what?”
I should have been more cautious. Instead, I said with disgust, “Didn’t I tell you? They can’t find a Captain to replace me. I’m still senior. I’ll have to sail to Detour and home again.”
“You can’t!”
“I have to,” I said. “It’s my job.”
Her voice was ominous. “How long have you known about this, Nicky?”
“Since I reported to Admiralty.” I made a helpless gesture.
“There’s no way out.”
“You could resign!” With an effort, she took the edge from her tone. “I know you tried your best, Nicky. But you were very lucky; you know that. You could have lost the ship.”
“More than once.”
“But you’ll still go? Is glory so important to you?”
“Not glory,” I said shortly. “You know I can’t break my oath.”
It seemed to anger her more. “All this time you knew you would go again as Captain, and didn’t tell me?”
“That’s why I was so upset all week!”
“I’m the one who has a right to be upset. I hate dishonesty!”
“Dishon--Amanda, I’d have told you if I thought about it. I figured everyone in Centraltown knew. And what choice did I have? I--”
“You have one honorable choice! Resign!” .
“He’s senior officer,” Derek said. “It’s his respon--”
“Midshipman, stay out of this! Amanda, that’s not fair.”
“I hate having gone with you under false pretenses.”
Amanda’s tone was harsh. “And I hate you more for tricking me. I won’t discuss it further!”
Enraged, I throttled as high as the motor would allow, indifferent to engine wear. After an hour of mutual sullen silence I spotted the coastline and followed it north to Centraltown.
Amanda, still refusing to speak to me, stalked off with her gear to find a taxi. I remained with Derek to return the heli and sort out our belongings. Late in the evening I saw Derek to the shuttle and thumbed a ride to Amanda’s house on the edge of town.
The lights were out but I knocked nonetheless. After several raps she came to the door wearing a night robe. “What is it?” She spoke through the glass door. I took a deep breath. She deserved honesty, no matter the cost. “Amanda, I love you. I’ll never see you again and I want a better memory to carry home. I’m sorry for my faults.
I’m sorry for not telling you. Please, forgive me.”
She sighed. “Oh, Nicky. Why does it have to be this way?” She came out onto the tiny porch.
“I’m sorry,” I said dumbly. “I wanted you to be happy.
You made me feel so good.”
Her eyes glistened. “I’ll miss you, Nick. I’ll always think of you.”
“I wish I could stay, but I can’t. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to come back.”
“I know.” She tried to smile and couldn’t. She kissed me gently on the forehead. “Good-bye, Nicky. Good luck, whatever you do. Lord God be with you.”
“I don’t know how I’ll get through this without you.” I felt tears coming. “Lord God be with you always.” I quickly turned away. I left without looking back, afraid if I faced her I could not let her go.
25
In the morning, the sun beat down on the sturdy grasses as I left Admiralty House and crossed the yard to the shuttle pad. I squinted, my head throbbing from the several drinks I’d downed after leaving Amanda. An electrolytic balancer would right me in a hurry, but I wasn’t in the habit of carrying hangover pills and I’d had too much pride to ask for one at Admiralty.
Forbee had mixed news: only one lieutenant had volunteered for Hibernia,but they’d conscripted another from the Bauxite run. Bauxite, the third planet in Hope Nation system, was serviced by intrasteller Naval vessels without fusion drives. We would rendezvous with the officer’s ship to pick him up.
Thus I would sail with three lieutenants including Vax Holser. I also had four midshipmen and cadets, but among them, only Alexi was experienced. If I chose to promote Alexi I’d have to leave Derek senior, and he wasn’t ready to command the wardroom. I ordered Forbee to acquire an experienced midshipman however necessary. And quickly: we were to sail in three days.
As I walked toward the departing shuttle a Hiberniaseaman crossed the tarmac from the shade of the terminal building.
He saluted as I reached the shuttle steps. My nod was curt.
“Seaman Porfirio, sir. Uh, could I talk to you a moment, please?” He licked his lips.
“I suppose. Come aboard.”
“Aye aye, sir.” He didn’t move. “Down here, please? It’s important, sir.” The shuttle pilot waited, ready to close the hatch.
I sighed. “Make it fast, sailor.” 1 Porfirio looked about as if for assistance. “Would you come with me?”
Probably it had to do with a girl. Our petty officers were expected to handle these shoreside problems, but none was in sight. I was the last person the unnerved sailor should ask for advice, but for some reason he had fastened on me. I stepped away from the shuttle hatch. “All right, what is it?”
He backed farther from the shuttle hatch. “This way, Captain. It’ll only take a moment.”
His manner began to remind me of Captain Grone’s. “Get on with it, sailor. No one can hear us.”
“I want to show you something, sir.” He backed away another few steps. “By the terminal.”
Enough was enough. “What is this nonsense, Porfirio?” I stood my ground.
He made shushing gestures. “Please, Captain. There’s someone I want you to meet.” So, it was a girl. If he thought he could get my permission to bring her aboard, he would by Lord God learn otherwise. The fastest way to put a stop to this foolishness was to confront it right now. I stalked after him to the terminal.
To my surprise Porfirio led me through the building and out the other side. In another minute I’d miss my bloody shuttle, and Lord God knew when there’d be another. The sailor scuttled across the service road. I followed as far as the Centraltown welcome sign, but he showed no sign of stopping. I used my coldest voice. “Where do you think you’re taking me, sailor?”
“We’re almost there, sir. Honest.” He pointed past the far curb to a wooded hillside.
“Of all the insolent, insubordinate monkey shines!” I was beside myself. “Is that where you’ve hidden her? In the woods?”
He looked astonished. “You know about her, sir?”
“You think I’m an idiot? How dare you haul me across town for your fun and games?”
His face mirrored his anxiety and confusion. “Please, Captain. You shouldn’t talk about her in the open!” The man was demented. It must be something in the air.
Fuming, I followed him down the street. Just beyond the airport perimeter the undergrowth came almost to the road, completely obscuring the woods behind. Porfirio darted along a narrow path through the brash.
I hesitated. I could be mugged, even killed. No one would ever find my body. I almost turned back, but with a muttered curse I plunged in after him. I might as well see it through.
I’d already missed my shuttle.
By the time I’d gone a hundred feet, the road behind had completely disappeared. We pushed past low-hanging leafy branches under a dense canopy. Porfirio stopped, put his hands to his mouth, and let out a shrill whistle. I whirled, crouching into karate stance, knowing I’d been lured into a trap.
The bushes rustled. Out stepped Alexi, dirty and unkempt.
Behind him came the two cadets, Paula Treadwell and Ricky Fuentes, then- uniforms wrinkled and stained. My fury battled with a sense of relief. I bellowed, “Why in God’s own hell are you skulking in the woods?” I gave Alexi no time to answer. “Leading me on a wild-goose chase, making me miss my shuttle! I’ll have you over the barrel the minute we’re aboard, Mr. Tamarov! Ten demerits! A dozen!”