Oddly enough it was anger which had begun to lift me out of my abject melancholy and now I had to be nearly poisoned to realize how much I wanted to live.
I lay there thinking of Maud, for it was Maud who had made the soup and brought it to me, who had been so eager for me to take it, and who had sat there watching me put every spoonful into my mouth.
She wanted me out of the way. She did not believe that I would not marry Gregory Donnelly; she could not conceive of any woman’s not wanting him. And how desperately she wanted the right marriage for her daughter.
Who would have believed that she would go to such lengths?
I was in danger. I must get out of this place. Passions ran high in places like this. Life was not sacred here; there were too many hazards which made it cheap. People were fighting for their existences and if anyone stood in the way of what was the utmost importance to them they eliminated them.
But Maud! Calm and dignified Maud! Was it possible? Desperately she wanted that marriage for her daughter. She had betrayed herself to me when she talked of it. She wanted to see Rosa secure and in spite of all my protestations she did not believe I was not affected by his charms.
My body was limp and exhausted but my mind was active.
I went over that conversation we had had, trying to remember every word. I thought of her sitting by my bed, urging me to eat. Maud had done it. I would not have believed it possible but once again I was faced with the fact that one could never be sure what people would do in what to them was an emergency.
I felt too weak to get up the next morning. Nobody came, which was extraordinary. At length I got out of bed and went to Helena’s room.
She was lying on her bed looking ill.
“Oh, Annora,” she said. “I’ve had such a night. I have been so terribly ill. I am sure it was the soup.”
“You, too. I thought it was just myself.”
I went to the kitchen. No one was there. Were they all suffering from the poisonous soup?
A little later one of the women came over to the house.
She said: “Maud sent me. Everyone who took that soup last night is ill. I’m glad I didn’t have any of it.”
I felt a great sense of relief.
I was glad that I could go on thinking of Maud as I always had.
It took several days for everyone to recover.
Maud said: “It was all my fault. I thought the meat might be a bit off. But it didn’t seem much. I might have poisoned the lot of us. I had two helpings. Serves me right. I wanted to finish it up. I hope you are feeling all right, Miss Cadorson?”
I said I was much better. Fortunately I had not taken a great deal.
There was no doubt that the soup had not been deliberately poisoned but the incident did have an effect on me; and the fact that I had felt so strongly that there might be a plan to get rid of me stayed with me.
I would look out of my window at the vast stretch of land and remember the day when I had been lost in the mist. I would awake in the night and listen for sounds. I kept thinking of the way in which Gregory had crept into the house to be with the midwife. There was a growing tension within me.
I was aware that Gregory watched me with a certain speculation.
I knew that Maud was watchful of us both.
There seemed to be a warning in the air. Get away. Get away while there is time.
We must get to Sydney. We must get a passage for England. There were a number of ships which sailed regularly.
Gregory was the one who could arrange it and yet I hesitated to speak to him. Somewhere at the back of my mind was the fear that if he knew I was really making plans to leave he might take some drastic action. I don’t know whether it was due to the weakness of my condition or whether there was some uncanny force warning me; but I felt this strongly. I began to feel trapped. It was foolish. I only had to speak to Gregory, to tell him I had made up my mind to leave on such a date and that I wished him to make arrangements for our journey to Sydney. Once there I could book our passages myself.
Yet I did nothing.
Helena, too, was overcome by a kind of lethargy. She was uncertain what she felt about going home. There would be so many explanations. True, she was married, but her baby’s age would indicate that he had been well on the way before the ceremony had taken place. And what a strange marriage. Where was her husband? Travelling round Australia looking for material, letting his wife and child go home without him.
I would have to discuss the matter with Gregory and I knew that when I did he would find some means of thwarting me.
It was a strange eerie feeling.
I had a restless night. I was beset by wild dreams; and I knew I had to act quickly.
I felt limp when I arose in the morning. I would speak to Helena and tell her we must make an effort without delay. This very day we must discuss it with Gregory. I would bring it up at dinner that night.
It was midafternoon when I heard the sound of horses’ hoofs outside the house. A man had dismounted and was looking about him. I could scarcely believe my eyes. It was a dream. It must be. The fever had come back bringing strange images … some horrifying, some like this one … bringing a sudden incredible comfort, like the materialization of some longed-for dream.
“Rolf!” I cried.
I half-expected his image to dissolve before my eyes, but it did not. He came towards me, his arms outstretched.
I ran to him and flung myself at him.
“Rolf!” I cried. “Rolf, is it really you?”
He nodded, smiling. “Oh, Annora, dearest Annora … I have come to take you home.”
It was truly Rolf. He was as calm and practical as ever. He told me that he had made preparations to leave as soon as he had heard the news because he knew how devastated I would be. I should need someone. I should need him.
All I could say was: “Oh, Rolf, Rolf, you really are here. Let me hold your hand. I’m afraid I’m dreaming. It’s been like a nightmare … and I feel I’m still in it.”
“You’ve come out of it now. We are going home just as soon as you are ready. I thought you would want to. It’s best to get right away. I’ve found a man who can take us. He knows the country. He’s got some conveyance he calls a buggy. There will be some baggage. Otherwise we could have gone on horseback. There are two inns we could stay at, and that’s what we’ll do. I’ve planned to leave here the day after tomorrow. He’ll be with us then, buggy and all. We’ll get to Sydney and I have tentative bookings if we can make it in time.”
“You’ve arranged all that. Oh, Rolf, you’re wonderful!”
He smiled. “Don’t forget I was brought up to be a lawyer.”
“And turned landowner instead. Oh, Rolf, it’s so good you are here.”
“Will you be ready?”
“Yes, yes. Oh … but there is Helena.”
He looked puzzled.
“Helena and the baby. They’ll have to come with us. You know my cousin Helena Lansdon … well, she’s Helena Hume now. She’s got a baby, the dearest little baby. They’ll have to come, too.”
“Oh,” he said. “We’ll have to do something about her passage.”
“I couldn’t go without her, Rolf.”
Helena had come out carrying the baby.
“Helena,” I cried, “this is Rolf Hanson. You remember him. You met him at Cador.”
“Yes, of course I remember.”
“He’s come to take us home.”
Rolf went to her and shook her hands. He looked at the baby.
“He’s Jonnie,” I said.
Rolf looked bewildered. I wondered if that was how people would look when they confronted Helena and her baby. One would see their minds calculating. How could she have a baby so soon?