“It was after that Midsummer’s Eve,” I said.
“That Midsummer’s Eve,” he repeated. “Ah, I remember. There was an awful tragedy. The house in the woods was burned down.”
“Yes. With Mother Ginny in it. They were very cruel to her on that night. I was there … with Jacco. It was intolerable.”
“You saw it! It must have been horrific.”
“They set fire to her house. They dragged her to the river. I can never forget it. I didn’t believe in anything after that. People I had known … doing that. I felt I could not trust people any more.”
“I understand,” he said slowly. “My father was greatly shocked. He told me about it when I came back.”
“When you came back?”
“I had gone away on the afternoon of Midsummer’s Eve. I went to a friend who was in my college. He lived near Bodmin. You remember how interested I used to be … well, I still am … in old customs and superstitions. He had found some old papers in his family’s attics and he wanted me to look at them. I was going to miss the bonfires but old papers interested me more, so I went off. I was rather glad that I wasn’t there in view of what happened.”
“You weren’t there?” I stammered.
I could see it all so clearly; the figure in the grey robe leaping over the bonfire; leading the mob on to harass the poor old woman.
Floods of relief were sweeping over me. It must have been someone else in the robe. Could the truth be that which I had always tried to convince myself was so?
Why had I not spoken before? How foolish I had been. I could have learned this long ago.
“Oh, Rolf,” I cried. “I’m so glad you were not there. It was horrible …”
“You shouldn’t have been there.”
“My parents were away. Jacco and I went on our own.”
“My dear child …”
“We thought it was adventurous … at first. But I am glad we were there. I think we saved Digory.”
I told him then how we had gone out, witnessed the horror of that night and hidden Digory so that his fate should not be that of his grandmother.
“I learned something that night,” I said. “I learned about people. I suppose those are the sorts of things one ought to know.”
He put his arm round me and kissed me. Then he said: “I’ve always loved you, Annora.”
I did not answer. I felt almost happy—as I had never thought to feel again, sitting there with his arm about me and the wonderful knowledge that he had not been there on that terrible night. It had been someone else in that robe. Why had I not thought that there could be more than one robe? I had come to a hasty conclusion which had embittered me for years and had changed my life in a way. Who would have believed that such a thing could have happened in one night? But I had already been made aware of how suddenly tragedy could strike and how quickly life could change.
He kissed me gently.
“I have been thinking a great deal about us, Annora. What is going to happen when you return?”
“I am dreading it. I can’t imagine the place without them.”
“It is something you will have to face. It will be hard at first.”
“I know.”
“I shall be near,” he said. “I’ll be there to help you. You’ll need help in many ways. You have inherited Cador. Do you realize what that means?”
“I haven’t thought much about that side of it.”
“I guessed not. In a way it will help you. You’ll have so much to think about. You’ve got to forget the past. You have to realize that everything is going to be different now. Your father cared a great deal about the estate once he came into it, and Jacco was being trained for when his time came. Now you have to take that responsibility.”
“I was always interested in it … at one time more than Jacco was. I used to go round with my father …”
“It will not be easy for you, but I am there … close. I want to be even nearer. Annora, we could be married.”
I was silent. I was still thinking: he was not there. All these years I have misjudged him. I ought to have known he couldn’t have been there. I wanted to make up to him for all the years of mistrust.
I thought of all the loneliness of returning to Cador without my family, and I saw at once that I had to stop brooding. I had to go on. And here was the way. I had lost my dear ones but I should not be alone.
I turned to Rolf and said: “Yes, we could be married.”
Now that I had made the decision I felt better. I had a new life opening before me. Everything would be different but I should have someone to love me.
I used to say to myself, It was what they wanted. They had always been fond of Rolf. Rolf would know what should be done about the estate. His own lands bordered on Cador. We should join up. We should be as one.
Helena was delighted. She liked Rolf very much. I think she was perhaps a little envious comparing her own marriage with my prospects. But her great comfort was Jonnie. At least he had come out of all that had happened to her.
Slowly we made our way towards England.
We were docking at Southampton and were rather glad of this. It meant that we should go straight to Cador without calling in at London which would have been the natural thing to do if we had landed at Tilbury.
Helena was not really prepared to see her parents yet and I felt I did not want to talk of my loss to them. I knew how upset Amaryllis would be at my mother’s death, for the ties between them which had been made in the days of their childhood had never been broken.
How moving it was to see Cador again and as I gazed at those ancient towers I had to suppress my unhappiness. I had to keep reminding myself that I had to make a new start. This great house and everything that went with it was mine. I had a great responsibility towards a good many people therefore. I had to stop mourning. There would be so much to learn but, I reminded myself, I should have Rolf to help me.
There was a warm but subdued welcome from the household. Mrs. Penlock burst into tears. I gripped her hands and told her we had to go on. Several of the others wiped their eyes and Isaacs said in a shaken voice: “We are glad you are home, Miss Cadorson.”
I thanked them as best I could and I know my voice shook. I had schooled myself for this for I knew how emotional it would be.
I said: “I intend that everything shall go on as before.” They cast down their heads and I went on: “I will talk to you all in the morning.”
Jonnie was a great help. Faces brightened as they looked at him. He studied them all with curiosity and through her tears Mrs. Penlock exclaimed: “The little duck!”
So there I was back home, longing to be alone in my room and yet dreading it, for during that first night, memories would be as vividly with me as ever.
I have to put it all behind me, I kept telling myself. I have Rolf now. He will help me. Perhaps in time I can be happy again.
I rode round the estate the very next morning and called at several of the farms. Mrs. Cherry had nine children now; she was larger than ever and still laughed at every sentence she uttered. Even when she referred to my loss, her laughter was not far off. It was a habit. And the Tregorrans were as mournful as I remembered.
“These be bad days, Miss Cadorson,” said Jim Tregorran. Miss Cadorson, I noticed, not Miss Annora.
They seemed bewildered. I supposed it was difficult for them to think of me as their landlord.
The first days were difficult. People were embarrassed. They wanted to tell me, I knew, that they mourned the loss of my parents and brother deeply, but they did not know how to do so.
Perhaps if I could have spoken of the tragedy it would have been easier. But I could not bring myself to do it at first. Perhaps later, I thought.