“Oh.”
“I wouldn’t want you here no matter what color you were.”
I sighed. “You’re going to make this even harder than it has to be, aren’t you?”
“You asked.”
“Well … I’m no happier to be here than you are to have me, but we’re either going to have to get used to each other or we’re going to have to keep out of each other’s way a lot. Which won’t be easy even in a house as big as this.”
“Why did you and Doro fight?”
“What?” My first thought was that he was reading my mind. Then I realized that even if he hadn’t seen Doro’s hand, I had a big bruise on my jaw.
“You know damn well why we fought.”
“Tell me. I answered your questions.”
“Why does a telepath bother to ask questions?”
“Out of courtesy. Shall I stop?”
“No! We fought … because Doro didn’t tell me about Vivian until about two hours ago.”
There was a long pause. Then, “I see. How did you feel about marrying me before you found out about Vivian?”
“My grandmother married Doro,” I said. “And, of course, my mother married him. I’ve expected to marry him myself ever since I was old enough to know what was going on. I wanted to. I loved him.”
“Past tense?”
I almost didn’t answer. I realized that I was ashamed. “No.”
“Not even after he decides to marry you off to a stranger?”
“I’ve loved him for years. I guess it takes me a while to turn my emotions around.”
“You probably never will. I’ve met several of his people since my transition. He uses me to keep them in line without killing them. And he’s done terrible things to some of them. But I’ve never met one who hates him. Those who don’t kill themselves by attacking him as soon as he acts against them always seem to forgive him.”
Somehow that didn’t surprise me. “Do you hate him?”
“No.”
“In spite of … everything?” I remembered Vivian going out hand in hand with Doro.
“In spite of everything,” he said quietly.
“Can you read his mind?”
“No.”
“But why not? He says he’s not a telepath. How could he stop you?”
“You’ll find out after your transition. This will be your room.” We were on the second floor. He opened the door he had stopped in front of.
The bedroom was white, and I guess you could call it elegant. There was a small crystal chandelier. There was a huge bed and a large dresser with a beautiful mirror. I’d have to be careful how I threw things. There was a closet that was going to look empty even after I hung up the new clothes Doro had bought me. There were chairs, little tables
…
It was just a really nice room. I peered into the mirror at my bruise. Then I sat down in a chair by the window and looked out at the front lawn as I spoke to Karl. “What do I do after my transition?”
“Do?”
“Well, I’ll be able to read minds. I’ll be able to steal better without getting caughtif I still want to. I’ll be able to snoop through other people’s secrets, even make robots of people. But …”
“But?”
“What am I supposed to doexcept maybe have babies?” I turned to face him and saw by his expression that he wished I hadn’t said that last. I didn’t care.
“I’m sure Doro will find some work for you,” he said. “He probably already has something in mind.”
Just at that moment, someone was hit by a car. I sensed enough to know that it was nearby, within a few blocks of Karl’s house. I felt the impact. I might have said something. Then I felt the pain. A slow-motion avalanche of pain. I know I screamed then. That hit me harder than anything I’d ever received. Finally the pain got to be too much for the accident victim. He passed out. I almost passed out with him. I found myself curled into a tight knot on the chair, my feet up and my head down and throbbing.
I looked up to see whether Karl was still there, and found him watching me. He looked interested but not concerned, not inclined to give me any of the help he was supposed to give. I had a feeling that, if I survived transition, I would do it on my own.
“There’s aspirin in the bathroom,” he said, nodding toward a closed door. Then he turned and left.
Five days later, we were married at city hall. For those five days, I might as well have been alone in that big house. Doro left the day he brought me, and didn’t come back. I saw Karl and Vivian at meals or ran into them accidentally around the house. They were always polite. I wasn’t.
I tried talking to the servants, but they were silent, contented slaves. They worked, or they sat in their quarters watching television and waiting for the master’s voice.
I joined Karl and Vivian out by the pool one day and what looked like a really interesting conversation came to a dead halt.
The only times I ever felt comfortable was when I was in my room with the door shut, or in the library when Karl wasn’t home. He spent a lot of time in Los Angeles keeping an eye on the businesses he controlled for Doro and the ones he had taken over for his own, personal profit. Evidently he did more for them than just steal part of their profits. For me, he did nothing at all.
Doro showed up to see us married. Not that there was any kind of ceremony beyond the bare essentials. He went home with usor with Vivian and me. Karl dropped the
three of us off, then headed for L.A. Doro challenged Vivian to a game of tennis. I walked three blocks to a bus stop, caught a bus, and rode.
I knew where I was going. I had to transfer to get there, so there was no way for me to pretend to myself that I had wound up there by accident. I got off at Maple and Dell and walked straight to Rina’s house.
Rina was home, but she had company. I could hear her and her company yelling at each other way out on the sidewalk. I walked around the corner and knocked on Emma’s door. She opened it, looked at me, stood back from the door. I went in and sat down in the big overstuffed chair near the door. I closed my eyes for a while and the ugly old house seemed to go around me like a blanket, shutting out the cold. I took a deep breath, felt relief, release.
Emma laid a hand on my forehead and I looked up at her. She was young. That meant she had had Doro with her recently. I didn’t look anything like her when she was young. Doro was crazy. I wished I did look that good.
“You were supposed to get married,” she said.
“I did. Today.”
She frowned. “Where’s your husband?”
“I don’t know. Or care.”
She sort of half smiled in her know-it-all way that I had always resented before. Now I didn’t care. She could throw all the sarcasm she wanted to at me if she just let me sit there for a while.
“Stay here for a while,” she said.
I looked at her, surprised.
“Stay until someone comes to get you.”
“They might not even know I’ve gone anywhere. I didn’t say anything. I just left.”
“Honey, you’re talking about Doro and an active telepath. They know, believe me.”
“I guess so. I came here on the bus, though. I don’t mind going back that way.” I never liked depending on other people and their cars, anyway. When I rode the bus, I went when I wanted, where I wanted.
“Stay put. Doro might not have heard you yet.”
“What?”
“You’ve said something by coming here. Now the way to make sure that Doro’s heard you is to inconvenience him a little. Just stay where you are. Are you hungry?”
“Yeah.”
She brought me cold chicken, potato salad, and a Coke. Brought it to me like I was a guest. She’d never brought me anything she could send me after before in her life.
“Emma.”
She had gone back to whatever she was doing at her desk in the dining room. The desk was half covered with official-looking papers. She looked around.
“Thanks,” I said quietly.
She just nodded.
Karl came after me that night. I answered the door, saw him, and turned to say good-by to Emma, but she was right there looking at Karl.