A whole roast chicken?
And that fucking music, blasting out from the stereo on the kitchen windowsill. It’s all she can hear now as her hands are searching for the keys to unlock the patio doors.
She needs to breathe. Coughing fiercely, her chest raspy, her lungs are screaming for air. She needs to get out.
The keys? Where are the fucking keys?
She cries out now, almost defeated as she grasps at the empty lock. They’re gone.
There’s no sign of them.
Why aren’t they here? Did she move them?
She can’t remember.
She can’t remember anything.
And she can’t think straight.
If she doesn’t get out of the house, fast, the smoke will overpower her. She’s going to pass out.
Hoisting herself up onto the window ledge, she slams the stereo down onto the floor, pushing it out of her way, as she pushes the window open as wide as it can go. Welcoming the ice-cold blast of air that hits her, she gulps at it greedily.
The smoke is everywhere now.
In her hair, in her skin.
She throws herself down onto the grass beneath her, sprawled out on the ground for a few minutes, heaving and spluttering until she finally catches her breath.
And despite throwing the stereo across the kitchen, she can still hear that creepy fucking music playing as she lies there and stares up at the blackening winter sky.
She turns on her side then and throws up the contents of her stomach. Retching as the hot bile burns the inside of her mouth, she’s sobbing now too.
Did she do this? Rebecca tries to picture what she’d been doing before she’d gone to lie down earlier.
She’d had a drink. Maybe two drinks after Lisa had left.
But she didn’t make any food, she’s certain of it. And why would she cook a whole roast chicken, just for herself?
And the running shower? And that godawful music that had been blaring so loudly.
She hadn’t done any of those, either.
Which only meant that someone had been in the house.
Had Jamie come home while she was asleep?
Was he still playing games with her?
Was this another of his sticks to hit her with? To make his point that she wasn’t well? That the hospital shouldn’t have discharged her, because she wasn’t capable of looking after herself?
Why? So he could keep Ella from her.
Because that’s what would happen, wouldn’t it? If the house caught fire, and the fire service was called, and they all thought it was her fault.
Staring at Lisa’s house, she checks that her sister-in-law isn’t watching from a window before quickly dragging herself up from the floor.
She can’t afford to be seen.
Fuck Jamie and his pathetic games, she thinks as she composes herself, making her way back into the house so she can start cleaning all the mess up.
Whatever crazy game he’s playing, she’s not going to let him win.
She’s got to stay one step ahead of him – because no matter what, she needs to get Ella back.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Things could have been so different for you, Rebecca. Do you know that?
Course you don’t.
The irony, seeing as you think you’re so damn clever.
But then you always have been a smart-arse. Too fucking conniving for your own good I used to think.
But you’re not clever enough to outsmart me.
I know exactly who you are, and I know what you did.
I know all your secrets, Rebecca.
All those lies you tried to keep buried.
Only, secrets don’t stay down for long… they have a way of rearing their ugly head and catching up with you… eventually.
You think you’re safe here, don’t you?
Hiding in plain sight, in this picture-perfect little life.
Cowering away inside your home. A sanctuary of sorts, which in time has slowly become your prison.
Only you’re not safe here, Rebecca. And you’re starting to feel it aren’t you? How the walls are starting to close in on you, how the bricks are starting to crumble, soon they’ll start crashing down all around you.
And the funniest thing about all of this is that you’re completely oblivious to the fact that you’re going to lose.
Yet still you’re doing your absolute best to cling on to the tiny scrap of hope you have left, that your world isn’t about to be blown wide apart.
It makes me almost feel sorry for you, Rebecca. Do you know that? When I look at you these days, and I see what you’ve become.
How you wormed your way into this lifestyle, trying so hard to take it for yourself.
Under the illusion that you’re still in control. That you call the shots.
But this is all just part of my game.
And I have big plans for you, Rebecca. I really do.
Chapter Thirty-Three
‘You need to tell Becks that you’re here at least. She’ll be worried sick,’ Lisa says as she places Ella down on her changing mat so that she can change the child’s nappy. ‘You didn’t see the state she was in, Jamie. I mean, she’s stronger than she looks, but everyone has their limit.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘It means I’m worried about her. What if she does something stupid? She looked completely broken when she realised you and Ella were gone.’
Lisa had spent most of the day trying to talk some sense into her brother, to no avail. He was being standoffish, refusing to talk to Rebecca, and Lisa was starting to lose her patience with him. He could be so pig-headed at times and nothing Lisa said would make him change his mind.
‘You need to talk to her. You should go home.’ She was now regretting going along with Jamie’s request to lie to Rebecca, annoyed with herself for allowing him to persuade her to cover for him. She got it, he needed space. And he’d promised her that he’d only be here for a couple of days. Just until he worked out what he was going to do.
She couldn’t refuse him; he was her brother after all.
Her loyalties should lie with him.
Only as much as she loved Jamie, this all just felt so wrong.
‘I stood in front of her and lied to her face for you, Jamie. That’s not fair, that wasn’t part of the deal. I said you could stay here, but I didn’t expect to have to lie and hide that fact from Rebecca.’ Lisa was riddled with guilt for not telling her sister-in-law the truth about where Jamie was really staying and annoyed that her brother couldn’t see how awkward that had made her feel.
She’d seen the state that Rebecca was in. She knew how much she’d be hurting, having Ella kept away from her.
‘Look, just let me deal with this my way. Okay?’
Lisa shrugged, still unable to get the words that Rebecca had used earlier out of her head. She’d said that Jamie was punishing her. That he’d taken Ella away from her on purpose.