And finally, she can breathe again. Sitting down in the water, Rebecca lays her head back against the bathtub, closes her eyes, and she thinks about before. The woman she used to be.
It all seems so long ago. Like it’s just a dream now. No longer real.
Within minutes all the noise has gone.
It’s silent and she’s back there again.
Hanging upside down inside the car, her body rigid with terror as she strains to hear a sound. A whisper, a murmur, anything other than the harrowing silence that descends upon her.
Because silence can only mean one thing.
Don’t look, she tells herself, only she knows that she has to. She needs to look, so she knows for certain it’s true.
She turns her head and flinches as all her worst fears are confirmed. And then, there’s a noise. A godawful wailing screech, full of pain and anguish, like nothing of this earth, like nothing human. It quickly pulls her from her trance-like state.
It’s me, she realises. The heart-wrenching scream is coming from her. From her mouth. She’s sobbing uncontrollably, as her body convulses violently, wiping the stream of blood that drips down her face, before biting back strangled sobs. Her left leg is searing with pain, trapped in the concaved metal shell, the roof partially crushed, cocooning her inside.
And that’s when she sees the smoke.
A thin plume of black pouring out from the bonnet, slowly at first. Then faster, thicker.
A sickening hot bile rises from the back of her throat.
I need to get out, she thinks.
Lying in the bath, thinking back to her darkest time, the panic Rebecca feels jolts her awake and she’s back in the en suite.
She must have fallen asleep. Though she has no idea how long she’s been there for. Long enough for her body to be trembling and her skin to turn a pale shade of blue, prickled with goosebumps.
Ella? she thinks with a start as she clambers from the bath with urgency, only to hear a noise that stops her in her tracks.
Someone’s angry. They’re shouting.
Jamie’s home.
Chapter Seven
‘Rebecca? You’ve got a visitor,’ shouting over the sound of his daughter’s loud cries that were carrying throughout the house, Jamie Dawson led the health visitor through to the lounge.
‘I’m so sorry about this, sounds like madam is having a bit of a moment. At least now we know why Rebecca couldn’t hear you at the front door. I’m so sorry you were kept waiting.’
Jamie apologised again as he eyed the state the house was in. The lounge curtains were still drawn, a cluster of discarded, half-full cups of coffee on the coffee table that had clearly gone cold before Rebecca had a chance to finish them. Picking up an empty cereal bowl that had tipped up on the floor, a pool of milk and muesli spread across the carpet, Jamie bent down and wiped the mess with one of Ella’s muslin cloths that had been left on the sofa.
It was the middle of the afternoon and the place was a mess. Jamie was mortified. Before Ella had been born the house had been like a show home. Every room perfectly decorated and dressed with designer accessories. Jamie remembered Rebecca’s face when he’d first brought her back here. How impressed she’d seemed with how he was such a perfectionist. Only these days it was if Rebecca didn’t see, or care about, the mess and dirt she and Ella created.
‘Honestly, it’s not a problem.’ Kerry Day smiled back reassuringly. ‘I’ve seen and heard it all in my time, I can tell you. You should have seen the state of my house when mine were little, life just takes over.’
He nodded to appease the woman, but Jamie wasn’t convinced. The place had been immaculate when he’d left this morning, but now, just a few hours later, it was unrecognisable and there was no sign of Rebecca.
Hearing Ella crying loudly, Jamie assumed that Rebecca was changing her upstairs and that she’d be down shortly now she’d heard them both come in.
‘What is that godawful smell?’ Jamie said, wrinkling his nose, as he tried to work out where the putrid stench was coming from. Spotting the soiled nappy, folded up and left in the middle of the front room floor, Jamie quickly scooped it up before opening the lounge window to let some air in.
‘The place isn’t normally like this. I mean, we’re coping. It just gets a bit hectic sometimes, you know. We’re still trying to work out our routine,’ Jamie said, his cheeks flushing with red. Though judging by the sympathetic look on the health visitor’s face, his anger was mistaken for embarrassment.
‘I’ll just clear some of these bits out of the way. Please, take a seat.’ Grabbing the discarded blankets and Ella’s changing bag from the sofa, Jamie offered Kerry Day a seat.
‘I expect she’s just upstairs changing Ella’s clothes or something. Probably had another nappy explosion again. It’s never-ending glamour around here.’ He forced a smile for the health visitor, nodding to the nappy as if making light of the situation. But he wasn’t happy with Rebecca. Not one bit. Surely it wasn’t too much to ask that the house be kept clean and tidy? How hard could it be to pick up a dirty nappy and stick it in the bin? All Ella seemed to do when Jamie was home was eat and sleep. It was hardly hard work. What in the hell was Rebecca playing at?
‘Can I get you a cup of tea or coffee?’ Jamie asked, doing his best to contain his temper as he tried to read the woman’s expression. So far Kerry hadn’t given away any of her private thoughts on the state of the place; if she noticed all the mess or the bad smell that lingered in the air, she was too polite and professional to let on.
‘No, I’m fine, thank you,’ Kerry replied, folding a muslin cloth that she’d found on the arm of the chair.
‘I’ll go and see if Rebecca is okay,’ Jamie said, concerned now that she hadn’t replied to him calling out to her and that Ella was still screaming the place down. Surely Rebecca should have managed to calm her down by now?
‘Rebecca?’ he shouted again, taking the stairs and awaiting a reply.
When he didn’t get one, an awful thought crossed his mind.
What if something had happened to her? What if that’s why she wasn’t answering?
Hurrying then, a ripple of panic cutting right through him, he followed the sound of Ella’s hysterical cries. Going straight to the nursery, he breathed a sigh of relief to see his daughter sprawled out in her cot, her face red with frustration, big fat tears cascading down her little chubby cheeks.
She quietened the second her father leaned over and scooped her up into his arms. Jamie breathed her in, his sudden presence immediately placating the child as he kissed her reassuringly on the forehead.
‘It’s okay, baby, Daddy’s here,’ Jamie said softly, feeling Ella relax inside his firm hold, grimacing as he felt the wetness leaking out from her soiled nappy and covering his hand.
Not wanting to upset Ella further, he tried to contain his temper, but felt his annoyance build that she’d been left alone to cry herself into hysterics and that her nappy was so full. Jamie was aware that the health visitor was probably downstairs taking notes; God knows what she was already thinking about them both as parents, turning up to this mess.
‘It’s okay, darling. Shall we go and find Mummy?’ he said tightly. ‘Rebecca?’ he shouted again, but there was still no answer.
Marching into their bedroom, Jamie stopped in his tracks as Rebecca opened the door of the en suite, a towel wrapped tightly around her hair, her dressing gown on. She looked startled at Jamie’s sudden presence in the bedroom.
‘You’re home? Is everything all right?’ Rebecca gasped, her eyes going to Ella. Her daughter’s eyes were red and puffy, much like the rest of her face. She wondered how long Jamie had been here for, and was glad that Ella had finally stopped crying, but felt the familiar annoyance that it was Jamie who always managed to appease her. Of course, he had. Ella was such a little daddy’s girl.