“No.” His tone said he knew what she was going to ask. “Don’t you dare ask that of me, Tally.”
She ignored the growled order. “I need to know you’ll be there for Noor and Jon.” It was manipulative to bring up the children, but she’d do anything to keep Clay safe, give up her pride, her soul.
“No.”
“Promise me.”
He released her, rolled off the bed, and stood. “You aren’t going to die, so this conversation doesn’t need to happen.”
She sat up, tears in her throat. “Ignoring the truth won’t make it any less true, you damn arrogant leopard!”
He shifted in a shower of brilliant multicolored sparks.
She was so startled, she couldn’t speak. And then the most beautiful leopard was in the room with her, a glorious creature with defiance in its eyes. “Not fair,” she whispered, throwing off the sheet to crawl over the side of the bed and slide onto the floor.
He came to her, laying his head on her thigh. She should have berated him for choosing to end the argument this way but what she did was stroke him. “Beautiful,” she whispered, sinking her hand into the black and gold fir. “Magnificent.” Petting words, because while he was big and tough, he was also hers to love, hers to adore.
Green eyes caught hers, a gleam of smug pride in their depths.
“Vain,” she added.
He growled, bared his teeth. And still she stroked him. Her mate. Her everything.
CHAPTER 45
Talin was still drowning in a confusion of happiness and fear late the next morning as she sat on Tammy and Nate’s back steps. The only reason she hadn’t come earlier was that she’d spent the morning catching up with Rangi. The other Guardian had returned at last. He hadn’t blinked an eye when she’d informed him that Iain’s murderer was dead.
“Good,” had been his response. “Thanks for looking after my kids.”
She’d passed on the details he needed, then headed back, clear of all Shine responsibilities. Her resignation was already typed up, ready to be e-mailed. She no longer dared take responsibility for the welfare of innocents, not when her mind could go haywire at any second. Her eyes fell on Noor and Jon.
They were playing in the yard with the twins, with Dorian riding herd. Thank God she had Clay to make sure she didn’t cause any harm to these precious children. He was on the phone inside the house right now, organizing a construction team for the lair.
“Morning.”
She looked up. “Sascha? What are you doing here?”
“I came to check up on Jon and Noor.” The empath’s eyes were without stars, but her face wore a smile. “Can I join you? I have coffee.”
Thankfully accepting the cup Sascha held out, she shifted over so the other woman could sit beside her. “Where’s Lucas?”
“Talking with Nate about changes to the protective grid we run on our territory. We’ve had some problems with Psy incursions so we’re increasing security. But from the sound of things, the Council’s going to be too busy with internal problems to bother us for the next little while.”
Talin slipped at the coffee. “Things are changing, aren’t they?”
“Yes.” Sascha held her cup with both hands, forearms braced on her thighs. “Far faster than I would’ve believed. Judd thinks my defection acted as a catalyst.”
Talin heard the skeptical note in the cardinal’s voice. “You don’t think that?”
“I was considered a weak Psy, a useless appendage to Councilor Nikita Duncan.” There was pain in that statement but there was also anger. “I hardly think my defection capable of causing that big a ripple.”
Talin thought about that as they watched Tammy’s little boys tackle a tolerant Jon to the ground while Noor grabbed the ball and ran. “Maybe it was your apparent weakness that had the catalytic affect.”
Sascha tilted her head slightly to the side. “In what way?”
“You were seen as weak, but you got out. Maybe now, others who never imagined they might beat the Psy Council…maybe now, they think that they can, too.”
“I never thought of my perceived ‘flaw’ as a positive.”
Talin shrugged. “I’m no expert-”
“But you are very good at picking up and reading nuances of emotion,” Sascha interrupted. “Who knows, perhaps you had an empath in your family tree.”
Talin shook her head. “I’m human and I’m happy with that.”
“You should be,” Sascha said, eyes beginning to refill with stars. “Without humans, the Psy and changelings would have destroyed each other eons ago, Silence or not.”
“That’s what Clay said.” She smiled at the memory of his tenderness, even as fear twisted up her gut. A sharp whistle made her look up. Dorian blew her a kiss. She scowled, but she was charmed. “That man is too gorgeous for his own good.”
“He’s different when you’re around, you know.”
“I don’t understand.”
“He flirts with you.”
Talin colored. “He flirts with you, too.”
“I’m his alpha’s mate. I’m still not quite sure what that means to the unmated males, but it gives me a unique status in terms of what they expect and what they’ll accept from me, affectionwise.”
“He doesn’t seem hesitant about touching,” Talin ventured, having learned how important tactile contact was to changelings. As it was to her. To her surprise, she craved touch, could laze there like a cat herself and let Clay stroke her all day long. The image made her body melt.
“No, but this is the first time I’ve seen him act the way he does with you-he treats Brenna like a sister, Rina, too.”
“What about Mercy and Tammy?”
“Mercy’s not a woman,” Sascha said, then laughed at Talin’s look. “Not to Lucas and the others. She’s a sentinel before anything else, and she’d be the first one to remind you of that. As for Tammy, Dorian’s known her since childhood, but you, he treats like a woman. All that charm…” She shook her head. “I had no idea he could be like that.”
“He knows I’m with Clay,” Talin felt compelled to point out. “It’s not anything-”
“Oh, no, that’s not what I meant,” Sascha interrupted. “Dorian would never poach, and if anyone else tried, he’d shred them on Clay’s behalf, no thanks required.”
Talin grinned at the cardinal’s arch tone. “That’s what I thought. Maybe you’re just seeing a new side of him?”
“I think you’re right.” Sascha put down her mug. “I came into his life at a time when he was pure anger-after he lost his sister. I never knew him as he was before. Maybe part of that Dorian is coming back.”
“He hasn’t stopped being angry.” Talin watched that golden head as he bent to pick up one of the twins and throw him over his shoulder.
“No.” There was profound sadness in Sascha’s voice, until Talin could almost feel the pain of it in her own heart. Then the cardinal shook her head. “But enough about Dorian. He’ll probably snarl at us both for daring to care.” A small smile. “How about you tell me what’s bothering you?”
Talin wasn’t surprised at the other woman’s perceptiveness. “I’m mated to Clay.”
“I know.”
“How can that have happened?” she asked, frantic. “I’m sick and-” And she’d been selfish. “I wanted him to love me, but I never intended to kill him.”
“When I was going through the mating dance with Lucas,” Sascha said, sympathy in every syllable, “Tammy told me the process is different for every couple. What does seem consistent though is that the female has to accept the bond in some way for it to come into being.”
“But I didn’t! I would have never willingly put him in that kind of danger!”
“Um, Talin, this is kind of personal, but Lucas says you smell of Clay.”
Talin blushed, put down her coffee. “So? We’re intimate, but obviously sex isn’t all it takes.”