About two hours later, the SHO got out of a lawyer’s car. The lawyer’s client, who looked like a criminal, was carrying the lawyer’s briefcase, which was covered in a khaki protective covering. The lawyer was carrying little boxes of sweets from the engagement ceremony, which he distributed to the station’s staff. He gave one to Basharat as well. As soon as the SHO arrived, the entire staff came out of the woodwork and scurried around in front of him. They made it seem like they had been busy the whole time. The SHO listened to the outline of Basharat’s story and then said, ‘Please wait outside. The real “complaintiff” is the driver. We’ll have to look into him.’ Who knew what sort of grilling they were subjecting Khalifa to, but it took a full hour. When Khalifa came out, he wasn’t just long in the face, his entire body looked as though it had been stretched out! The SHO called Basharat in, and his tone had changed completely. He didn’t even invite him to sit down. Questions rained down. For a little while, Basharat got the feeling that the SHO thought he was the criminal. But that changed when he started to ask the sort of probing questions that only an income tax officer should ask. For instance, When you sold the stolen lumber, did you record this in the account book, or did you plan to stuff all the money into your pockets? The salary you give your driver is what you record, or do you record more? You send him out every day without a delivery order form. How is it that you drive the truck without a learner’s permit? When you were loading the wood to go to Nazimabad, did you, according to law nineteen hundred something something, stake out the area behind the truck with little red flags? Ah, yes, the mention of Nazimabad reminds me — my house in the PECHSColony has been built up to the plinth level. How many square feet of wood do you think I need? Make an estimate. It’s a 600-metre open corner-plot, facing west. And the radio you have — do you have a license for that? Is it true that on your incorporation papers, you’ve listed your seventy-five-year-old father, as well as your suckling babe, as partners? In delivering the wood from Lee Market to Nazimabad, what was the necessity of making a detour through Ranchore Line? Is it true that you pray five times and play the harmonium? (Basharat explained that he prayed, and that his father played the harmonium. Hearing this, the SHO started fiddling with his handcuffs; this went on for quite a while. Then, for the first time, he smiled and turned to his secretary, ‘So, did you hear that? It seems justifying the sin is more pleasurable than the sin itself!’) The report states that the wood was left right in front of the mosque’s door. Did you mean to make it difficult on mosque-goers? Your driver cuts your entire clan’s hair. He makes qorma for you. He circumcised your junior partner, I mean, your suckling prince. You forced him to drive a horse-drawn cart. This man curry-combed your horse and massaged your father. This is an outright violation of labour laws. Is it true that a while ago one of your carpenters got a splinter in his eye, and then after he got his eye bandaged at Spencer Eye Hospital, you sent him home, without any compensation? And why is it you charged twice the amount that this wood is worth? This is quite the situation… This is crazy. I can get wood for half of what you’re selling it at. That’s the going rate.
In Violation of Penal Codes and Criminal Law
But Basharat’s answers did little to satisfy the SHO, and so he said, ‘I’ll go look at the crime scene. Tomorrow’s Sunday. I won’t come to the office. Do you have a ride?’ Basharat said ‘yes.’ And he took him outside.
‘But what’s this?’ the SHO asked, in surprise.
‘This is what delivered the wood.’
‘But what is it?’
The SHO touched the neatly stacked lumber. He circled the vehicle and eyeballed its length. Then he suddenly got quite mad. Forget the scene of the crime — he grabbed Basharat and took him back inside the station, where he and his snivelling assistant started playing good-cop-bad-cop. Who gave him permission to turn a passenger car into a truck? Also, you were going down a one-way alley the wrong way! Your insurance lapsed a long time ago. You haven’t paid your wheel tax for a year. Just now your driver confessed to the crime of stopping the vehicle by shifting gears because it does not have brakes. Due to this, a couple days ago, in front of the Garden East slums, he ran over a hen. Khalifa had no money to pay them off. They impounded the car for the night and held him hostage, even though he kept yelling that the error hadn’t been the car’s, the hen had flown right under it. The next day, Khalifa cut the hair of the hen’s owner, the man’s kids, as well as his relatives and everyone in the vicinity — two dozen people, all told. That was to win his release. Then this man’s neighbour came with his five-year-old, stark-naked boy (who was wearing a nice lace cap) and asked him, ‘Please, could you circumcise him?’ And, after all this heavy labour, when he arrived back at your place at two or so in the afternoon, what kind of welcome did he get but to be accused by you of going around town and barbering when he should be working. And you threatened not to pay him for the lost day. I guess that’s an investigation for another day. But, tell me, why does your car spit out as much exhaust as an entire factory? Why does it pull up in the middle of the road? Hey, are you listening? (He addresses his secretary.) How many months is it for blocking a public road? Only that? No heavy labour? (Turning back to Basharat.) And so, sir, if it’s true that it’s a truck, then why do you load the whole family into it for evening drives? (Turning back to his secretary.) Hey, read him the part of the penal code about overloading.
So it turned out that there wasn’t a single provision within the Pakistani penal code and under criminal law for which he hadn’t been caught red-handed. His each and every action was in violation of something or the other. He felt as though his entire life was in violation of the law. Basharat was flabbergasted: what intuition the SHO must have to already know about his law-breaking activities! But then he realized what was going on; he looked at Khalifa with murder in his eyes. As soon as their eyes met, Khalifa pressed his hands together in supplication.