“Aye, I do,” she said with a nod. “But we can’t know for sure which path to take if all we do is stand here worrying over the outcome.”
“Inaction is a path unto itself,” I objected.
“A stagnant path with no future,” she replied. “I can be just as pseudo-philosophical as you.”
“I’m still not excited about the other options.”
“But we have to at least choose one.”
“I thought I had.”
“I said we,” she replied. “We have to choose it together. If we’re wrong, we can always turn back.”
“Can you?”
“We have to try.”
“That’s my point,” I objected. “When it comes to this, there is no we. There’s just you. I’m as good as blind, Felicity.”
She shook her head. “Aye, but I’m not.”
“And that’s what makes you vulnerable.”
“Which is why I need you with me. Blind or not, you can still keep me grounded.”
“Need I remind you that the one time you did this, your reaction to channeling a victim was far worse than anything that’s ever happened to me?”
She shook her head and quietly snorted. “Rowan…you only say that because you were on the outside looking in for a change. I’ve watched far worse happen to you…and cried over it more times than you know.”
“Honey…”
“Shhh…” she hushed me as she briefly touched her fingers against my lips. “We have to do this. You know it. She already knows how to find us. We can’t hide forever.”
“So this is where you draw the line in the sand?”
“Aye.”
I sighed. “But, if you’re wrong, and you can’t turn back?”
“I keep going forward.”
“And, if it’s a trap?”
She looked away for a second then back into my eyes. “Then you will find a way to come rescue me.”
She was correct. If it came to that, I would, no matter what the personal cost. Unfortunately, I couldn’t help but hear Ariel’s voice in my head saying, “She’s been waiting for you, Rowan. She’s been waiting for so very long now…”
“Sorry about all that,” I apologized.
Ben shook his head. “I’m kinda used to it by now, Row.”
“Yeah, I guess you would be, wouldn’t you?”
“You feelin’ better?” he asked.
“Not really,” I told him. “But I’ve got it under control.”
We were still outside, although Felicity and I had moved out of the center of the parking lot and joined our friend up on the sidewalk near his van. The fissure at the bottom of my stomach had been continuing to grow and like an aggressive cancer was even now spreading to the rest of my body. Emptiness welled in my chest, sending its painful hollowness radiating outward. Intellectually, I knew my wife was correct in her belief that we needed to meet the threat head on. Emotionally, however, I was a half step away from being a basket case. At the moment, I just happened to be hiding it fairly well, or so I thought.
Ben gave me a once over and grunted sarcastically, “You’ve got it under control? Yeah. Right.”
“Seriously.”
“No offense, white man, but I think I need a second opinion,” he said and then turned his attention to Felicity. “Whaddaya think, Firehair, he gonna be okay?”
“He’ll be fine then.”
“You sure about that?”
“Aye.”
“Okay, if you say so.” He shook his head and sighed before admitting, “I just dunno, man. Now I’m actually feelin’ kinda guilty about pushin’ you two into this.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I replied then glanced at Felicity. “You had help.”
“Yeah, so?” he grunted. “That somehow s’posed ta’ make me feel okay about it?”
“It doesn’t really matter, Ben. You know that eventually I would have ended up in the middle of it anyway, no matter how much I objected.”
He nodded. “Yeah, prob’ly.”
A thick pause fell between the three of us. I could tell Ben was thinking about something, so I was expecting him to start massaging his own neck at any moment.
“So…” I spoke after several heartbeats. “How bad did I screw things up with Doctor Kingston?”
Ben grunted out a relieved half chuckle. “Believe it or not, ya’ didn’t. Apparently she’s heard enough stories about ya’ through the grapevine ta’ think this is just normal for you.”
“Terrific,” I said with a thin grimace. “Not exactly the reputation I was trying to foster.”
“Yeah, well, I guess it could be worse.”
“I suppose you’re right about that.”
Ben fell quiet again then looked at the ground and reached up to smooth back his hair, just as I’d expected. Allowing his hand to slide downward it came to rest on the back of his neck, and he began working his fingers against it in a slow massage.
“What is it, Ben?” I asked.
“That obvious?”
“It always is.”
“Yeah, great… So listen, I got a call from Constance while you two were over there talkin’.”
“Something wrong?”
“Depends on how ya’ look at it, I guess,” he replied, allowing his hand to drop back to his side. “Apparently she got a call from someone at the prison down in Texas this mornin’. Seems Miranda had a message for ya’.”
“Gods, Ben, not another victim already…” I sighed.
“Not yet,” he told me. “This one was a question, and it’s strictly verbal.”
“Well at least there’s that.” I drew in a deep breath and gave him a nod. “Go ahead. What’s she want?”
“She wanted ta’ know if you were ‘enjoyin’ your quiet time.’”
“Not as much as I thought I would.”
“Yeah…I figured that’d be the answer… So you ready ta’ go back in? The doc’s waitin’…”
CHAPTER 22
As autopsy suites go, this one didn’t seem all that different from any other I’d been in over the years. A quick glance around showed me that it was laid out a bit differently, but then that was to be expected. They all were. In the end, it was still a cold room with a tiled floor, tiled walls, and an overabundance of stainless steel making up the decor. The centerpiece of it all was, of course, the pedestal table with a built-in sink at the end.
“Will this suffice?” Doctor Kingston asked, sweeping her arm around the room.
“I don’t see why not,” I said with a shrug. “All we really need is privacy. And hopefully this won’t take long.”
It struck me as odd how open and receptive Doctor Kingston seemed regarding this entire exercise. I certainly didn’t get the impression that she was ready to embrace it as science, but one could tell simply by her tone and actions that her curiosity was more than just a little piqued by it all. Even after my momentary lapse, her inquisitiveness showed little sign of tapering off. If anything, it was becoming more intense.
“Privacy isn’t a problem,” she replied. “Now, before I bring in the body, just so I understand, how is it you’re going to go about doing this?”
“Nothing radical. It usually involves close proximity to the deceased-and maybe limited physical contact, though not always.” I shrugged. “After that it pretty much either happens or it doesn’t.”
“That’s it?” she replied. “You don’t need to burn any incense or light candles or draw pentagrams on the floor or anything like that?”
“Is that one of those stories you heard?”
“No, actually.”
I cast her a skewed glance for a moment then pressed, “Okay…then I have to ask. Cable psuedo-documentary or a bad horror movie?”
She cracked a lopsided smile. “A little of both, I guess. And a lot of reading.”
“Well, there won’t be any of that nonsense, so you don’t have to worry there,” I replied. “At most we might walk in a circle initially while invoking protection, and we usually have salt on hand…” As I allowed my voice to fade, I glanced over at Felicity. “But in all honesty, that’s not really for me to say. I guess that’s actually your call this time, hon. This one is really your show, not mine.”