“I’m not surprised!” Hassan said. “It was a crazy plan in the first place-doomed to failure. Only a secret agent would think of a lousy plan like that.”
“I’m sorry,” Max said. “But it seemed logical at the time.”
“Max! The crocodiles are closing in!” 99 wailed.
“Rule 17!” Max shouted. “Run first, think later!”
“Max, we’re in the middle of a river! We can’t run!”
“99, don’t be picky. Nobody likes a picky secret agent.”
“Max-the plastic spray! Use the spray, Max! Spray us a raft!”
“Excellent idea, 99!”
“You’re lucky you’ve got a trustworthy, dependable, experienced jungle guide along to think of it,” Hassan said.
“Don’t think I’m not thanking my lucky stars,” Max replied.
He sprayed a film of plastic on the surface of the water. It hardened instantly, becoming a makeshift raft. And, quickly, Max, 99 and Hassan climbed aboard, just in time to escape the crocodiles.
“Whew!” Hassan breathed. “That was close-but I did it again.”
“Brilliant,” Max said. “We’re as safe here as we would be on the deck of a battleship.”
“Max, that’s what you said before-just before the battleship turned into a submarine,” 99 pointed out.
“That was different, 99. This plastic can’t possibly sink. In just a very few moments we’ll reach the other side of the river.”
“I doubt it, Max.”
“Don’t be a doubting secret agent, 99. Nobody-”
“But, Max, look. The current is carrying the raft downstream. We’ll never get to the other side.”
“And the river runs into the sea,” Hassan said morosely. “We’ll be swept into the ocean. We’ll drown. That’s what we get for putting our lives in the hands of a crazy secret agent.”
“Let’s not lose hope,” Max said stoutly. “I’ve always found it to be the case that, in situations like this, when all seems lost, something always happens to alter the course of events.”
“Max. . listen. . do you hear that?” 99 said. “A roaring sound.”
“You’re right, 99. I wonder what it could be?”
Hassan clapped a hand to his brow in agony. “A waterfall!”
“Oh, Max! The raft will go over the falls! We’ll be crushed!”
“Didn’t I tell you, 99? See? Something always happens to change the course of events. And you were worried about being swept out to sea!”
“Max, this is worse! There’s no escape!”
“99, you’re misinterpreting what I said. I only said that something always happens to change the course of events-I didn’t say that the course of events always changes for the better. Sometimes it’s for the worse.”
“Oh, Max, what does that matter now? We’re going to die!”
“Not necessarily, 99. I’ve always found it to be the case that, in situations like this, when all seems lost-”
“What, Max?” 99 screamed. “Don’t preach to me! Tell me! What, Max?”
“Well, for instance-see that bridge up there.”
99 turned and looked downstream. “Max! You’re right! A bridge!”
“Yiii! I was losing faith in myself,” Hassan said. “But I guess I pulled the old chestnuts out of the fire again.”
“As I was saying,” Max went on, “that bridge is low enough that, when the raft reaches it, we can jump up and grab hold of the span and pull ourselves to safety.”
“It looks sort of rickety, Max,” 99 said. “Will it hold us?”
“We’ll soon know, 99. Get ready to jump.”
The three crouched, preparing to leap into the air.
“When I say ‘three!’ ” Max said.
At that moment there was a ringing sound.
“Somebody get the door,” Hassan said.
“No, Hassan, that’s my-”
“Forget it, Max!” 99 said. “We’re almost to the bridge.”
“You’re right. Okay? Get set! One! Two!”
Again, the ringing sound was heard.
“99, I can’t just ignore it. There’s something about a ringing telephone that-”
“Three, Max!”
At the signal, they leaped-and caught hold of the lower span of the bridge.
“99, why did you do that!” Max complained. “Listen. . the ringing has stopped. I may have missed a very important call.”
“Max, if I hadn’t yelled ‘three,’ you’d be dead now.”
“Maybe so. But I wouldn’t be wondering who was calling. That’s a terrible thing to carry through life with you, 99-wondering who was calling.”
“Max, if it was important, whoever it was will call back.”
“I hope so. And soon, too, I hope. I won’t be able to think about anything else until I find out who it was.”
Max, 99 and Hassan pulled themselves up onto the bridge. It swayed precariously under their weight.
“The raft is gone-over the falls,” 99 said, looking over the railing.
“Forget about the raft, 99. Try to think of who might have been telephoning me.”
“Max, I haven’t the faintest- Max-look! Coming across the bridge.”
Max looked in the direction that 99 was pointing and saw a half-dozen tall, fair-skinned, blond young men approaching.
“Oh-oh! Hostile natives!” Max said.
“But, Max, they’re blond and fair-skinned and smiling.”
“99, that’s only an illusion. It’s the old dark-skinned, ferocious-Africans-disguised-as-fair-skinned, smiling-Americans trick.”
“Max. . I don’t think so. .”
The leader of the young men raised a hand in greeting. “Hi-ho, everybody!” he grinned.
“See, Max?” 99 said.
Max shrugged. “It was a natural mistake.”
“Well, two bright-eyed, intelligent Americans and one underprivileged person,” the young man said. “Glad to see you-the two of you, anyway. We’re bright-eyed, intelligent Americans, too.”
“Out here in the middle of the jungle?” Max said dubiously. “That’s a little hard to believe.”
“We’re with the Peace Corps,” the leader explained.
The other young men broke into a cheer.
“Rah-Rah-Rah! Sis-Boom-Bah! Peace Corps! Yeah!”
“We just finished building this bridge,” the leader said to Max. “We were hoping someone would come along to test it. We didn’t dare. It looks a little rickety, doesn’t it? We thought one of the natives would happen along and try it out. We’re sorry that you bright-eyed, intelligent Americans had to risk your lives on it. But. . all’s well that ends well, eh?”
Max looked around. “You’re building a bridge out here in the middle of the jungle? Do you mind if I ask a question?”
“No, go ahead.”
“You didn’t by any chance make a telephone call to me a few minutes ago, did you?” Max asked.
The leader shook his head.
“Darn!” Max muttered.
“Max-ask him about the bridge,” 99 said.
“Oh. . yes.” Max addressed the leader of the Peace Corpsmen again. “Why are you building a bridge out here in the middle of the jungle?”
“Because of the falls,” he replied.
“There you are, 99,” Max said. “Does that answer your question?”
“No, Max.”
“Let me explain,” the Peace Corpsman said. “You’ve heard about Niagara Falls, I suppose. And you know that it has a bridge over it. But do you know that thousands and thousands of tourists go to Niagara Falls every year just to stand on that bridge? And do you know that those tourists spend thousands and thousands of dollars?”
“Oh, now I understand,” 99 said. “You want to make a tourist attraction out of this falls. The tourists will come here and spend money and the economy will boom.”
“Right. These people here are practically savages,” the Peace Corpsman said. “But, with a little money. .”
“That’s wonderful,” 99 enthused. “You could change their whole way of living. You could civilize them.”
“No, no, we’ll keep them the way they are,” the Peace Corpsman replied. “Savages are a great tourist attraction.”
“But. . but the falls. . the bridge. .” 99 said.
“Who would come all the way to Africa to see a waterfall?” the Peace Corpsman replied. “You can see the same thing at Niagara Falls. And the bridge is safer.”
“You’re doing a great job,” Max said. “We’re all proud of you. Now-”
“Max,” 99 interrupted, looking perplexed, “I still don’t understand why they’re building the bridge.”