“For heaven’s sake, 99! Because they want to do their bit for mankind, and get it out of the way, so they can go back home and start making money.”
“Oh.”
Max saluted the Peace Corpsmen. “As I say, we’re proud of you,” he said. “And thanks loads for building that bridge. You got it up just in the nick of time. I shudder to think where we’d be now if we’d gone over the falls.”
“Any time. .” the leader smiled graciously.
“We have to be going now, though,” Max said. “We’re on the trail of a scientist who has developed a gas or something that could be a blessing or a curse to civilization, as we know it, depending on whether or not it falls into the hands of the Good Guys or the Bad Guys.”
“Say. . that sounds like Dr. Livingstrom,” the leader said.
Max’s eyes opened wide. “You know him?”
“He passed through here a few days ago,” the leader replied. “He was looking for the Dog Flower plant, a rare specimen that grows only in New Ghirzy.”
“I know, I know,” Max said, delighted. “Which way did he go?”
The Peace Corpsman pointed to the other side of the river. “That-a-way.”
Max eyed him suspiciously. “But, before, you told us that you had just finished the bridge a short time before we happened along. How did Dr. Livingstrom cross the river?”
“You wouldn’t believe it,” the Peace Corpsman replied.
“Try me.”
“No. I know-you just wouldn’t believe it.”
“Cross my heart, Scout’s honor, and all that-I’ll believe it.”
“Well. . what he did was, he went into the jungle and teased a hippopotamus and got it to chase him. He ran toward the river bank, and when the hippo caught up with him, he side-stepped it, then jumped on the hippo’s back, and- See? It’s just too unbelievable.”
“Unbelievable? It’s the only way to travel,” Max said.
“Max, hadn’t we better go?” 99 urged.
“99, we can’t go without saying good-bye to these young men.”
“I don’t think there’s time for that, Max,” 99 said nervously.
“99, there is always time for politeness.”
“Max. . I hear a splintering sound.”
Max listened. “Yes, that’s what that is, 99. That’s definitely a splintering sound.” He faced back to the Corpsman. “I suppose that’s the call of some exotic jungle bird,” he said.
The Corpsman shook his head. “No, that’s the bridge. It’s failing the test.”
“Max,” 99 urged again, “the bridge is going to collapse.”
“Now, just a minute, 99,” Max said. “Let’s not panic. All bridges make sounds like that when they sway in the wind. I’m sure we’re as safe right now as we would be if we were standing on the deck of a battleship. I’m positive that the Peace Corps wouldn’t send this young man out here to build a bridge if he didn’t have some training in bridge-building.” He turned back to the leader. “You have built bridges before, haven’t you?”
“Lots,” the young man smiled.
“I knew it. And where did you get your bridge-building training?”
“Massachusetts College of Dentistry.”
At that instant, the bridge collapsed, and the Peace Corpsmen and Max and 99 and Hassan hurtled downward toward the water.
“You know,” Max said to the leader, “there’s a difference between the bridges you learn to build in dentistry school and the bridges you build to put across rivers.”
“That’s what I told them at the Peace Corps,” the leader replied. “But they said, ‘Who’ll know? A bunch of dumb savages?’ ”
The whole group hit the water together, disappeared, then bobbed to the surface, gasping for breath.
“Max!” 99 screamed. “We’re being swept toward the falls!”
“Well, Hassan,” Max said, “time to pull off another miracle.”
“I’m tired of saving us all the time,” Hassan grumbled. “It’s your turn.”
“In that case,” Max sighed, “this is the end. So long, Hassan. Good-bye, 99. Peace Corpsmen-toodle-ooo!”
“Oh, Max,” 99 sobbed. “Why does it have to end this way? Why? Why?”
“It is regrettable,” Max agreed. “Now I’ll never know who it was who was calling me on the phone.”
“Is that still so important to you, Max?”
“I’m afraid it is, 99. I don’t really mind dying so much. But puzzling over who that phone call was from is going to make it very difficult for me to Rest in Peace.”
“Sorry, Max. .”
They had reached the falls. And over they went, all together, and plunged downward-a distance of about thirteen inches.
“Somehow, I don’t think this falls is ever going to be much of a rival to Niagara,” Max said.
“Max! We’re saved!” 99 shouted gleefully. “It’s hardly a falls at all!”
“Well, another day, another miracle,” Hassan grinned. “Don’t bother to ask me how I did it. It’s a trade secret.”
The whole group got to its feet.
“I guess this knocks your little project into kind of a cocked hat,” Max said to the leader of the Peace Corpsmen. “There won’t be much interest in the falls.”
“No, I see no reason to change our plans,” the leader replied. “We’ll rebuild the bridge.”
“Over a thirteen-inch waterfall?”
“Who’ll know? A bunch of dumb tourists?”
Max smiled at him proudly. “That’s the spirit that made America what it is today!” he said.
The party waded to shore. Then Max, 99 and Hassan said a last good-bye to the Peace Corpsmen. As they headed off into the jungle, they heard the leader address his companions.
“Okay, fellas,” he said, “this time, let’s show these savages that we can really build a bridge that will last.”
A cheer went up.
“Rah-Rah-Rah! Sis-Boom-Bah! Yeah!”
They heard the leader speak again, this time addressing the river. “Open wide,” he commanded. “This won’t hurt a bit.”
7
Max, 99 and Hassan pushed on into the jungle. But after a few minutes, Max called for a rest period. And when they stopped, he sat down on a small mound and removed his telephone shoe.
“What now, Max?” 99 asked.
“There’s something I have to find out,” Max replied, dialing.
Chief: Control, here. Chief, speaking.
Max: Chief, did you call me a while back? My shoe was ringing, but I was tied up and couldn’t answer it.
Chief: Who had you tied up, Max? Are you free now?
Max: I don’t mean that I was actually tied up, Chief. I mean I was busy.
Chief: Max, how could you be too busy to answer your shoe? It only takes one hand.
Max: Before this goes any further, Chief, would you just answer my question? Did you phone me a few minutes ago?
Operator: He refuses to answer that question on the grounds that you are unfair to Arnold.
Max: Operator, how could I be unfair to Arnold? I don’t even know Arnold. I only met Arnold once with his mother.
Operator: Have you got yourself trampled by an elephant yet?
Max: Well. . frankly, no.
Operator: I ask you-is that unfair or is that unfair? How can Arnold take your place if you’re still around? He just wouldn’t feel right about it. You’d be hanging around, watching everything he did, trying to catch him in a mistake. Max, this boy wants to make good, but you just won’t let him. Is that fair?
Chief: Operator, I think you’re being a bit premature. Your brother-in-law hasn’t even appeared to fill out an application yet.
Operator: You must be wrong, Chief. Have you looked under your desk? Arnold is sometimes a little shy.
Chief: He’s not under my desk. He’s not anywhere around.
Operator: He’s there. Max saw him enter the building-didn’t you, Max?