A four-masted schooner skimmed by.
“Send help!” Max called after it.
“Max, no!” 99 said. “Keep your head!”
The water rose higher. Max began dogpaddling.
An ark, stocked with animals, floated by.
“Noah! Wait for Max!” Max bellowed. “You’ll need me. My grandfather was an Elk. My other grandfather was a Moose. My father is a Lion.”
“Max, it’s an illusion!” 99 said. “It’s a trick!”
He looked at her blankly for an instant, then, pained, said, “Oh.”
The water vanished.
“99, I wish you hadn’t done that,” Max said crankily. “Why did you have to tell me right then that the water was an illusion?”
“There wasn’t any water, Max,” 99 insisted. “Whitestone was playing a trick on you.”
“I know that, 99. But you could at least have waited until we’d all had a drink.”
“I’m sorry, Max. I guess I just wasn’t thinking.”
“Well, anyway, some good came of it,” Max said. “Now we have a trail to follow.” He pointed. “Right over there. That ark plowed a big hole right through the underbrush. Good old Noah!”
Hassan took the lead again, and once more the three began hacking and clawing their way through the jungle. From overhead came the chattering of monkeys and the hissing of snakes. And from the surrounding undergrowth came the cries of other animals, lions, tigers, elephants and hyenas.
“Why are the animals making all that racket?” Max asked Hassan.
“They’re telling the animals up ahead that we’re on our way,” Hassan replied.
“Really? What for?”
“Just a matter of interest,” he replied. “Most of these animals have never seen a secret agent before.”
“Oh.” Max turned to 99. “It’s a good thing the animals don’t keep zoos,” he said. “We might be in trouble.”
Hassan suddenly halted, peering through the underbrush.
“What is it?” Max said.
“Up ahead-a veldt,” Hassan replied.
Max faced back to 99 again. “There’s a veldt up ahead,” he said. “Be very quiet. We may be able to slip past it.”
“Max. . what is a veldt?”
“I’m not sure. Just a minute, I’ll ask Hassan.” He tapped the guide on the shoulder. “Hassan. . what exactly is a veldt?”
“It’s what you Americans would call a prairie-an open stretch of field,” Hassan replied.
Max turned back to 99 once more. “You can forget about being quiet, 99,” he said. “A veldt isn’t dangerous.”
“I’m not sure about this one,” Hassan said, moving forward again. “It could be very dangerous.”
A moment later they reached the edge of a wide open space. It was crawling with tiny ants. And they were emitting a high-pitched squeaking sound.
“Just what I was afraid of,” Hassan said. “We’re stopped. We’ll have to turn back.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Max said. “Those are only ants.”
“Ants with a difference,” Hassan said. “These are man-eating ants. Hear that sound they’re making? They’re talking about us.”
Max cocked an ear. “As a matter of fact, I think I did hear my name mentioned.”
“They’re arguing over who’ll get the drumsticks,” Hassan said.
Max shuddered. “I think you’re right-we better turn back.”
“Max, we can’t!” 99 said. “Our mission comes first. We must go on-even if it costs us our lives.”
“You’re right, 99.”
“If we try to cross this veldt, we’ll be eaten alive,” Hassan said. “We must turn back.”
“You’re right, Hassan,” Max said.
“But, Max, the Chief is depending on us,” 99 said. “We must go on!”
“99, you’re right.”
“It would be suicide,” Hassan said. “We must turn back.”
“Hassan, you’re entirely right.”
“Max, will you make up your mind?” 99 said. “We can’t do both-go forward and go back, too. Which will it be?”
“Couldn’t we just stay right here?” Max suggested.
“Max, no. You must make a decision. Forward or back.”
Scowling, Max studied the man-eating ants. “Forward,” he decided. “Hassan, I think you’re wrong about those ants. I don’t think they’ve spotted us. If they had, why haven’t they attacked?”
“You may be right,” Hassan replied. “But if we try to cross the veldt, they’ll see us for sure.”
“Not if my plan works out,” Max said. “I propose that we very carefully step between them. They’re so busy, they probably won’t even notice us.”
Hassan shrugged, accepting the decision. “It’s your drumstick,” he said.
This time, Max led the way. Paying particular attention to where he stepped, he started across the veldt. 99 followed. And Hassan brought up the rear.
“It’s working,” Max said. “They don’t even know we’re here.”
“Careful, Max!” 99 warned.
“Don’t worry about me, 99. I have the lightest step of any agent in Control. When I was in basic training I was known as twinkle-toes. I remember-”
There was a sudden piercing screech!
“Max! You stepped on an ant!”
“That’s impossible. I-”
Max was suddenly tossed high in the air. Looking down, he saw that the veldt was now crawling with enormous African elephants.
“Max!” 99 shrieked. “It was a trick!”
Max landed with a thud.
“The ants were an illusion, Max!” 99 said. “They’re really elephants!”
“Yes,” Max said, rising. “The old ants-disguised-as-elephants trick.”
“I think we better run,” Hassan said nervously. “The elephants are going to charge.”
The three began running across the veldt. The elephants gave chase, trumpeting wildly.
“Head for the jungle!” Max called from his position in the lead.
“Max, it’s too far! We’ll never make it!” 99 cried.
“The elephants are gaining!” Hassan shouted.
“This calls for strategy,” Max said. “Does anyone have a peanut we could throw them?”
“Not me, Max.”
“Wouldn’t you know it?” Hassan said woefully. “A half-dozen chain-driven saxophones-each one the only one of its kind-but not a single peanut.”
“In that case, we’ll have to switch strategies,” Max said. “This calls, I think, for breaking the record for the long distance run.”
“Max. . the elephants are gaining!”
“They’re just trying to help us break that record, 99.”
There was a ringing sound.
“Somebody get the doorbell,” Hassan said.
“No, I suspect that’s another wrong number,” Max said.
Hopping on one foot, Max removed his shoe, then continued running, while putting the shoe to his ear.
Max: Smart, here. And if you’re calling for Hazel, I already gave her your message.
Chief: Max, what the devil are you talking about?
Max: Oh. . sorry, Chief. I thought you were Fred. Chief, could you call back a little later? I’m in a bit of a spot right now. 99 and I and our guide, Hassan, are being pursued across a veldt by a herd of ants.
Operator: You wouldn’t catch Arnold running from an ant.
Max: Ants twelve feet tall? Ants with tranks and tusks?
Chief: Max, you’re describing elephants.
Operator: What did I tell you, Chief! Max just can’t cut the mustard any more. He doesn’t know an ant from an elephant. You wouldn’t catch Arnold making a mistake like that. Give him that question on the examination, Chief. Ask him the difference between an ant and an elephant. He gets that question every time.
Chief: Operator, your brother-in-law, Arnold, hasn’t even showed up yet.
Max: Chief. . Operator. . do you mind? I’m being chased by a herd of elephants. Can’t we discuss this later?
Operator: Why do you hate Arnold, Max?
Max: I don’t hate Arnold, Operator. I just happen to have something more important to do right now.
Operator: If you don’t hate him, why do you get nudgy every time I mention his name?