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city from doing it, but the guy said he'd lose custody of his kids if

he didn't have a place for them to live.  She was worried that if she

called the police about the letters and it turned out that he was only

blowing off some steam, she'd make it even harder for him to keep his

kids."

"Do you know what he did that had her on edge?"  I asked.

"Just a couple of letters, I think.  Ranting and raving the way a lot

of people do, but something about how she should have to know his pain

someday.  I know I agreed with her at the time that it sounded a little

threatening."

"And you don't know whether she did anything in response?"

"No.  It alarmed her at first, which was why I suggested she call the

police.  I asked her about it a few times after that, but she seemed to

have gotten over it."

I'd had similar experiences.  A defendant gets in your face,

and it feels like a conflict that could rip your guts out.  By the end

of the week, it's just another story to share at a cocktail party to

distinguish yourself from all the other boring lawyers.

"Is that enough for you to be able to find the file?"  she asked.

"Should be," Johnson said.  "We'll be sure to follow up on it.  What

about Clarissa's personal life?  She seem happy in her marriage?"

Susan Kerr leaned back in her chair, took in a deep breath, and smiled

politely.  "I was wondering when you'd get to that.  Classic, right?

Whenever something goes wrong, it's got to be the spouse.  Hell, poor

Herbie died of a heart attack, but don't think I didn't know what some

of his friends were whispering behind my back."

Johnson had clearly dealt with this kind of response before, because he

handled it like a pro.  "I know this is upsetting for you, but, as

Clarissa's best friend, you're the one who can be most helpful in

pointing us in the right direction."

"Well, thank you for that, but whatever the right direction is, that

ain't it.  If I thought for a second that Townsend had anything to do

with this, I'd be leading the charge.  Shit, I love the man, but I'd

probably kill him myself."

"This early in the case, we have to consider every scenario."

"Well, you're on the wrong track.  Townsend and Clarissa are a great

team.  To the extent she ever complains, it's the stuff every couple

deals with finding enough time for each other, who does the dishes,

boring shit like that.  I doubt Townsend's ever raised his voice to

her, let alone what you're thinking.  It's just not in him."

Johnson and Walker were polite enough not to roll their eyes.  They'd

been around long enough to know what ordinary citizens don't want to

believe you can never tell who has it in them to kill.

It was almost two by the time Johnson and Walker dropped me off

downtown, and I was starving.  The rain had finally stopped, so I

walked the two blocks to Pioneer Courthouse Square, got a small

radiatore with pesto from the pasta cart on Sixth and Yamhill, and

headed back to eat at my desk.  When I went to erase my sign-out on the

white board I found that anonymous coworkers had written, Shoe

shopping, Back to Hawaii, and Does Kincaid still work here?  next to my

original out.  The graffiti made me laugh, but I went ahead and erased

it while I was at it.

I hit the speakerphone to check my voice mail but was interrupted by

the rap of fingers against my open door.  I swung my chair around to

find Jessica Walters, the only female supervisor in the office and

someone who I was pretty sure had never spoken a word to me during my

tenure as a DDA.  As usual, she wore a tailored pantsuit and

oxford-cloth shirt, her trademark pencil tucked neatly behind her

ear.

"Jessica.  Hi."  My surprise to see her, combined with the more than

mild intimidation she inspired in me, ruined any chance I might have

had at witty repartee.  Walters had been a prosecutor for nearly two

decades, put more men on death row than any other DA in the state, and,

as far as I could tell, never had cause to doubt that she was smarter

and quicker than anyone else in a room.  She was currently in charge of

the gang unit.

"Welcome to the club, Kincaid.  You're the first of your kind up here.

Congratulations."

"Thanks, but I thought you were the first.  Weren't you in MCU before

you got your own unit?"

"Yep, was up here for almost ten years.  So was Sally Her-ring ton

before she jumped ship to join the dark side.  But you're the first

hetero a role model for all the straight women in the office who said

it couldn't be done."

There was a crowd of paranoid younger women in the office who were

convinced that the boss created the appearance of gender fairness in

the office by promoting lesbians who were perceived to be less likely

to rock the cultural boat captained by his buddies.  The truth was

sadder.  The atmosphere here was so rough, both for women and for

dedicated parents, that the lawyers who were (or intended someday to

be) both of those things requested other "opportunities" in the office.

So-called voluntary transfers to nontrial units like appeals, child

support, and parental terminations became their own kind of

self-imposed mommy track.

If anything was going to kill the conspiracy theory and the office

culture, it was the increasingly rampant rumor that Jessica and her

drop-dead gorgeous partner of nine years were trying to get pregnant. I

couldn't wait to watch a tough guy like Frist wiggle in his seat while

"Nail Them to the Wall" Walters breast-fed her kid during a homicide

call-out.  Payback for every time I've had to listen to colleagues

bemoan uniquely masculine complaints like jock itch and beer-goggle

bangs.

"To tell you the truth, I was beginning to wonder what was going on

with you in that department.  Now all the support staff can talk about

is you and Forbes.  After all the ninnies in this office that guy has

bagged, he's stepping up in the world."

Given my general anxiety about dating a cop, the last thing I needed

was a reminder of the many brief relationships this particular one has

had over the years.  If ours turned out to be as fleeting, I might be

known as yet another Forbes conquest.

Jessica must have realized that I didn't take the comment as she

intended it.  "I was saying you're a good catch, Kincaid, but I should

probably keep my mouth shut and stick to work.  It's a well-deserved

shot you've got here.  You're gonna be great."

"Thanks, Jessica.  That's really nice of you to say."

"No problem.  Just remember, don't let these fuckers give you too much

shit.  You'll need to pay your dues at first, but then it's about

carrying your fair share of the load.  Don't be afraid to get in their

faces if you need to."