"Bang-Bang," she said, "I'm puzzled. What's the primitives' name of that activity?"
"Neo Punk Rock," said Bang-Bang. "It's all the rage now."
"Hmm," the Countess Krak muttered to herself. "But why do they do it standing up?"
I sat back. I didn't have to do another thing. She was heading right into a steel-jawed trap of shoot-on-sight!
Krak's viewer was very dark for a long time. Only the sound of traffic and the hum of the motor of their own car. I wished I knew what sort of a machine it was: Seemed very strange to have no windows in it. Well, I would keep alert. Sooner or later she would look at it in a lighted area and maybe even at its license plates. Those license-plate numbers were a vital factor in any police activity, so much so that you couldn't really harass citizens at all unless all vehicles were numbered. But these considerations were just to occupy the time. Good Gods, the Bronx was a long way by car from Manhattan.
Then the vehicle slowed. It went for a little distance and then speeded up again. Bang-Bang's voice: "Miss Joy. I think somebody set us up again. I counted four security men as we went by that apartment house. All armed with riot guns. We was expected. I think I better take you back to the hotel."
Silence. Then, "Bang-Bang, is there a police station near here?"
"I'll look. But Jesus Christ, ma'am-beggin' your pardon-you bring cops in and they'll nab us sure. They won't never go up against security police like those. They looked TOUGH!"
"Go to the police station."
"I don't like this, Miss Joy. And I don't know where one is. Usually a proud type like me doesn't descend to hobnobbing with low-life cops."
A light came on. She was sitting in a little compartment. It had a narrow bunk and a pile of clothes and a small door that went to what was probably the driver's chair. What was this thing? She was looking in a directory open to the section, Police.
"Four thirty-five Grassy Meadows Lane," she said. "Go there."
"What is it?"
"Metropolitan Police Vice Squad, Bronx Division."
"Vice?" said Bang-Bang.
"That's what we're dealing with," said the Countess. "Drive!"
A muttering Bang-Bang drove them many blocks and then stopped again. "All right, Miss Joy. But mark my words, rubbing elbows with police is just one step lower than mucking with the Army."
"Come back here."
The door opened and the diminutive Bang-Bang crawled back from the wheel. He hunkered down, watching her.
The Countess Krak had a small package in her hand. It said:
Eyes and Ears of Voltar
Follow Compeller: When Unit A is worn by the operative and Unit B has been placed on or into the subject, Unit B will compel the subject to follow the operative by inducing a wrong feeling when he does not. For use in causing subjects to walk into embarrassing situations where divorce evidence can be obtained and subject executed.
The Countess activated Unit A and pinned it on Bang-Bang. It looked like a lapel button-membership in some club? She handed him Unit B.
Bang-Bang looked at it. It appeared to be a tiny piece of dark adhesive.
"Now, Bang-Bang," said the Countess Krak. "You walk in there and look around and find a policewoman, put that patch on her and come back here. She'll chase you."
"Hey, no," said Bang-Bang. "We used to do this when we were kids and we always got caught. I ain't throwing no rocks at any cop just to get chased!"
Patiently, the Countess Krak started to explain it to him in more detail.
I did not wait. Here was a new opportunity!
I snatched at the phone. I scrambled through the directory. I dialled the Bronx division of the vice squad.
The watch sergeant answered.
Urgently, I said, "There's an extraterrestrial fiend right outside your station! She is sending a demon in to grab and rape one of your policewomen!"
"Well, more power to her," said the watch sergeant. "Why don't you cranks stay off this line!" He hung up.
It was no use. I had to sit there helplessly. But never mind, those security men at the apartment were on the job.
Bang-Bang slid open a large side door. The police station across the street came into view. He stepped out and somewhat nervously crossed the street, went up the steps and in.
He was gone for quite a little while. The Countess watched.
Oh, it was very plain what the Countess meant to do. Bigamy, adultery and other crimes in the Confederation are punishable by death. And the only way you can get a divorce as such is to involve the marital partner in one of these and get him or her terminated by the State. She was going to kidnap a member of the vice squad, get Bang-Bang to rape her, take photographs and use these to blackmail the female officer into arresting the poor, innocent girls! That is what we would do in the Apparatus. And the Countess knew how the Apparatus operated: she'd been a victim of it herself.
Here came Bang-Bang. He sauntered elaborately down the steps of the Vice Squad building. Behind him the door sprang open. A tall policewoman was getting into a dark blue uniform coat.
Bang-Bang strolled across the street toward the vehicle.
The tall policewoman gave her cap a tug and followed.
Bang-Bang paused beside the open door, inspecting his fingernails.
The policewoman crossed the street toward him. She was an athletic brunette, rather handsome-featured in a hard-bitten sort of way.
Bang-Bang sprang into the door and got behind Krak.
The Countess lurked in the dark.
I wanted to scream to the policewoman, "No, no! Don't enter that vehicle. Dishonor or death await you there!" But I was miles away and had to watch the awful tragedy unfold.
The woman stepped in through the wide side door.
There was a hiss.
Gas! The Countess had used a gas capsule! Oh, this was Apparatus work indeed! (Bleep) her, why hadn't I prevented her from stealing that Zanco kit!
The vehicle door slid shut.
There was movement in the dark interior. Bang-Bang was going back into the driver's compartment. A flash of light as he opened and closed that door to go through it.
The vehicle started up.
Click, and the overhead light was turned on by Krak. There lay the policewoman, out cold.
Swiftly, the Countess stripped off the victim's uniform. She laid the woman out on the couch. She tied her hands and feet with cord.
I waited for the expected halt of the vehicle and rape.
The Countess was taking off her own clothing.
What horror was I about to witness? What perversion? Was the Countess a lesbian? I had never suspected that. There were no lesbians in the Confederation. If anything like that were detected, those involved would have been executed. There lay the policewoman, naked now. Maybe I could get the Countess for this crime under Voltar law. Or Earth law, for that woman was a member of the New York Vice Squad and would not be slow to strike back when she became aware she had been violated.
Something was wrong.
The Countess was not touching the woman!
Krak was simply putting on the woman's clothing!
She even threw a blanket over the female police officer.
I thought, what a waste. If that had been I, I would have raped the victim just to go by the textbook. Was it possible that I did not quite understand the motives and standards of the Countess Krak? (Bleep) her, I couldn't figure her out.
She was doing something to her own face. She turned off the light.
The vehicle stopped.
"We're here," said Bang-Bang.
What in the name of the Gods was the Countess Krak up to? That policewoman would only be unconscious five or ten minutes. Time to rape her and take photos was nearly gone.
Yet the Countess Krak was simply opening the door!
Oh, this Manco fiend was quite beyond me!
When the Countess Krak left the vehicle she did me the disservice of not looking back.