Mo was watching her in the mirror, warily.
Honestly, she said, you are such a genius, and I’m not being sarcastic.
Mo squinted at her, then looked a question to Sophie who didnt respond. Mo shuffled back the way to get a better look at Helen. And where are you going? All dressed up like that, you are going somewhere, where? that is the question.
I fell asleep.
Mo called to Sophie. Too tired to go to bed, that’s her.
I sat down in the chair and dozed, said Helen.
A hard night at the cards eh! Mo studied her then kissed her on the nose. You take it easy girl, you look knackered.
So do you.
You look very knackered.
Helen smiled.
Go to bed.
I shall do.
Take off your coat first.
Nag nag.
You’re a nag to me! called Sophie.
Oh I’m not, not like Mr Noisy, he nags me all the time.
Hey, you were snoring when I looked in!
I dont remember you looking in.
Of course not, you were snoring. Mo gestured to Sophie, jerking his thumb at Helen. You mum is the only woman in the world who snores when she’s awake.
Dont say that about my mum. It’s not fair to say it.
Helen said, Oh Sophie, he didnt mean it.
Well it’s not very fair.
He’s only pretending.
You were not snoring.
Yes she was, said Mo. She is the biggest snorer in the whole house.
No she isnt, shouted Sophie and she turned from him.
Mo and Helen exchanged looks, Mo smiling and Helen sighing. He doesnt mean it, she said.
Mo was about to comment but Helen held her right forefinger to her lips to shush him.
Well it’s not fair to say, continued Sophie.
I bet you my mouth was open anyway.
It wasnt.
Mo grinned at Helen: You are such a paragon!
No she’s not, said Sophie and strode out of the bathroom.
Oh huffy, called Helen.
I am not huffy, shouted Sophie.
Sorry, whispered Mo.
It’s not your fault.
She thought I was insulting you.
You were!
Mo put his arm round her shoulders. Sophie had returned and was watching them. Girls are not boys! she said, then walked off again.
What does she mean? said Mo quietly. I dont know what she means.
Just what she says, girls are not boys. Helen stepped back from him.
It’s like a crossword puzzle.
Helen held her forefinger to her lips again and indicated she was going after Sophie. She found her in the front room sitting on a chair between the double bed and the window. Helen waited a moment before saying, Oh come on love.
Sophie didnt look at her. After a moment she said, Why does he call me Soapy?
Dont be so huffy.
I’m not being huffy.
You have to get dressed.
I dont want to, I want to stay with you.
Get dressed.
Sophie stared out the window. Helen sighed. You know what my dad called me?
Jellybelly.
It’s worse than Soapy.
Mum it isnt.
Yes it is.
No it isnt.
I dont want to go to school.
Oh for God sake Sophie come on, I dont have time for this.
I’m not wearing these leggings again.
What leggings again, I’m not saying anything about leggings again. Helen frowned when Sophie pointed behind to a pair draped on the handle of the walk-in cupboard door. I’m not telling you to wear them.
Well why did you?
Why did I what?
If you left them out?
I didnt leave them out!
Well why are they there?
I dont know why they’re there, what do you mean?
They were just there, said Sophie. So if you put them.
I didnt put them, dont be silly.
I’m not being silly, if they were there.
Helen shut her eyes. She heard Sophie get up from the chair. She had gone to lift the leggings. Helen shook her head.
Sophie lifted and dropped them onto the floor then went to her small chest-of-drawers. She stood there without opening a drawer, glancing back to Helen. Helen pointed at the leggings: Pick them up.
But why were they there?
Pick them up.
But why were they?
Now you are being silly, that is just silly to say. Helen was glaring at her, then she sighed. Oh Sophie, you’re not crying are you?
I hate you not being here. I hate it hate it. The girl had raised both hands to cover her eyes. Not enough to conceal the crying completely. It was almost comical, but it wasnt. Helen stepped to her, touched her on the left wrist and whispered: You’re not crying are you?
Oh Mummy.
Dont cry.
I’m not.
But now she really was, and her face red with it, and her nose, poor wee thing. Helen took her in her arms and cuddled her.
One and a half minutes! called Mo from outside the room.
Sophie’s crying was unabated, breaking her heart it was so real, just completely real. You could tell when she was acting. This wasnt it. Now you’ll have to wash your face, whispered Helen.
Oh Mummy.
And get your clothes on you need to get your clothes on!
The crying continued. There was a box of tissues. Helen extracted two and dabbed round the girl’s eyes, kissed her on the tip of the nose. Sophie was trying to laugh the wee soul, it was so tough for her, it just was so tough.
I dont want him coming in if I’m dressing.
He doesnt.
Well I dont want him to.
But he doesnt.
I dont want him to.
Yes but he doesnt.
Sophie had left the chair and was searching for clothes inside a drawer. Sometimes he does, she muttered.
No he doesnt, not unless he doesnt mean to, if he doesnt know.
Sophie ignored her, concentrating on the clothes inside the drawer, but she began dressing. Everything is all upside down, she said.
Helen watched her. Eventually Sophie glanced across. Helen said, I’m just watching you.
I dont like you to.
Well I’m going to Sophie, I’m your mother.
But I dont like you watching me, and if Azizah does it.
Azizah is there to help.
Sophie sighed.
One and a quarter minutes! called Mo.
Again Sophie sighed, but at least she was moving, spreading three blouses out on the side of the bed to compare. She did this methodically, yet in a self-conscious, defensive manner. Helen moved to the doorway. I’ll get your breakfast, she said. What do you want? What do you want to eat?
Sophie didnt reply.
What do you want for breakfast, Sophie, what do you want?
Nothing.
Oh for goodness sake.
I dont want anything.
You’ll have to eat something.
I dont want to.
It doesnt matter if you dont want to, you’ll be hungry later on, so you’ve got to.
Yes but I dont want to.
I dont care.
Mum I dont want to.
Oh God.
Well if I dont want to?
I dont care if you dont want to.
Because I’m not hungry.
Yes but you havent eaten anything to not be hungry.
Sophie was fastening on her school skirt now, watching herself in the mirror but she paused while doing this. It is horrible, she said, it is just horrible.
I’ll put crispies out for you.
I dont want crispies.
Weetabix …
I dont want Weetabix, I dont want anything Mum; if there’s toast, can I have toast?
Just if you hurry!
Oh Mum.
Hurry up.
I cant.
Of course you can. Helen closed the door on her.
Mum!
She clicked it open, left it slightly ajar, and continued into the kitchen. Mo was at the table eating toast, sipping tea. Helen clasped her head with both hands and acted a scream: She’s still dressing!