Collins nodded, knowing as much. We were a democracy. “Okay, okay.” He gestured for everyone to settle down. “Three of you will head east and scout out the rebel towns. I would like an alliance, but more importantly we keep our own information safe. Do you all understand me?” There were no interruptions. Collins had found one thing everyone could agree on. “No talk of the procedure or of Mindonsiphan. No indications that you have any abilities outside of the usual realm of what you are capable of. No discussion of our plans for infiltrating the government cities or the towns,” he clarified.
“Fair enough,” Jaxon responded. “What three are you sending?” I could tell he wanted to be one of the three to go. He was leaning forward, antsy in his seat, waiting for the news. Jaxon had always been a leader. Even in training exercises he held the group together and instilled teamwork. I wouldn't mind him coming along with me to the eastern rebel cities, as long as he wouldn't take Joshua's place.
The Chancellor took a long moment, thinking it over, “Jaxon you'll be leading the team with Margo and Mason.”
“What?” I objected, standing up. I was appalled. “I want to be on that team! I've been out east, I know what conditions await us. I can help! This isn't fair.”
“Life, child, is not always fair,” Collins remarked.
I rolled my eyes, disgusted with him. I was not a child. It wasn't fair he kept me from going, but I was grateful Joshua hadn't been sent off without me. Selfish perhaps, but the thought of something happening to him was too much for me to bear.
Chancellor Collins stood up. “When the time comes for us to take down the walls of Genesis, you will be invited to do your part,” he informed me. “Until then, we need you in good health and alive.”
He left the room and Joshua stood up with me, nodding towards the door for me to follow him. “You didn't say anything,” I urged, walking with him down the stairs and outside into the cool, brisk air.
I wrapped my arms around myself and Joshua buried his hands in his pants pockets. “What was I going to say? He already made up his mind. It's better to have an ally, Olive.”
“What's that supposed to mean?” I stopped walking, confused.
He pulled his hand from his pocket, grabbed my elbow, and led me down the road towards our home. “It means that sometimes you go along with ideas for the greater good and when the time comes to speak up and cause a ruckus, you do it then.”
“I don't agree with that line of thinking,” I remarked, pulling from his grasp as we headed into our quaint brick home.
Joshua closed the door behind us and grabbed firewood from the back porch, bringing it in and starting a fire in the wood-burning stove. “Of course you don't,” he sighed. “I don't disagree with everything going on around here.”
“I never said I did,” I responded. “I don't agree with being left behind when Jaxon, Margo, and Mason go out scouting the other towns. Do they know how to handle the vehicle, let alone follow a map?”
Joshua bent in front of the fireplace, tending to it, watching the flames grow slowly. “I'm sure they'll do fine.”
I heaved a heavy sigh as I sat down on the gray sofa, kicking my feet up with me. “I hope you're right. Besides, what are we supposed to do for the next few weeks while they're out making either friends or enemies?” I wanted to trust they could handle befriending another rebel town but I was concerned.
“Practice? Further train on our abilities? Maybe we could even enjoy some time just you and me.” Joshua stared at me as I closed my eyes and leant my head back on the sofa.
“Yeah, that'd be nice.”
“I'm serious.” He stood up. I didn't see him but I could hear his heavy footsteps in our home as he approached. Joshua stood in front of me, obstructing the firelight. I finally opened my eyes, feeling him standing over me. “We're supposed to be engaged, Olive, and you barely touch me.”
“That's not true!” I objected, reaching my hand out to his arm.
“That's not what I meant.” His eyes narrowed. I knew what he was talking about.
“I'm not ready to get pregnant, Joshua. Now isn't the time.” I still wasn't sure I ever wanted children, and to bring them up at a time when we were about to wage war on our government seemed a horrible idea.
“No one is suggesting now,” he emphasized. He didn't have to further elaborate. I knew what he meant. When we went to bed together at night, we went to sleep. Nothing happened between us except for a goodnight kiss. We were careful and Joshua probably thought we were too careful, but I didn't care. I loved him but I wasn't ready for our world to get thrown off its axis again. I felt comfortable, and settling into this new life, I wasn't ready for any big surprises.
“We'll work on it, okay?” I offered, moving my legs to let him sit on the sofa with me. Once he sat down, I laid my legs back down on him, smiling weakly as I felt his eyes on me.
“I love you, Olive. I just feel like you keep me at arm's length too often.”
I hated hurting Joshua. It was never my intention. I knew he was right though—I had been acting that way, not out of anger or because I loved him any less. “I guess I'm scared,” I admitted. “Afraid that if we get too close, I'll want to do some things with you that we can't.” I felt my cheeks blush in the glow from the fire.
He shifted closer, pulling me into his lap, and I felt my heart quicken. “At least we're engaged,” he tried to make light of the situation.
“We are,” I agreed, leaning closer, resting my forehead against his. “Were you upset today when Collins insisted we both stay in town when the others get to explore the eastern cities?”
Joshua laughed. “Not really. I'm glad for the quiet time. I'm sure they expect us to continue our training and you to help Elsa in the lab, which will be easier than traveling the Gravelands.”
“True.” I lifted my head, my lips gently touching his cheek. “I guess I was looking for an adventure.”
“You're such an adrenaline junkie,” he teased.
“Yes, that's me.” I laughed, rolling my eyes. “You know me so well.”
His hand reached out, stroking my cheek. His thumb grazed over the slight scratch. “What happened?” He asked. “And why weren't you wearing shoes at the council meeting?”
My eyes avoided his stare as I glanced at the fire. “You don't want to know.”
From the corner of my eye I caught Joshua's stare. I shifted, meeting his gaze. “I do,” he insisted.
“I decided to walk down to the river. I know it's cold outside but it's nice not to worry about carrying my shoes back after I get my feet wet.”
Joshua laughed, shaking his head. “It's January and freezing outside. Are you crazy?”
“I just might be,” I smiled. “On the way back, Margo decided it was time to move up to the next level of training. Which, I should warn you, is pretty damn tough.” His thumb moved over the slight scab on my cheek. I wondered how bad it looked. I could feel the slightest bit of pain and reached for his hand, moving it from my broken skin. “It looks worse than it is,” I insisted, not wanting to worry him.
“What do you mean, the next level of training?” Joshua asked, trying to understand my words. “The element of surprise,” I answered. At least that's what I thought Margo had attempted because she certainly scared me in showing up near the river. She must have followed me out of Shadow. “Just, watch your back, okay?”
Joshua leaned in, dropping a gentle kiss to my cheek. “I always do.”
CHAPTER 3
Joshua spent much of the morning helping Jaxon pack up the vehicle, explaining as much as he'd known about Haven in hopes of helping them on their journey to Torv and Spade.