The dustbin lorry pulled up outside the hardware shop and two men in luminous yellow jackets made their way towards the wheelie bins by the kerb. Keen to escape the lorry’s ear-splitting hydraulics, I nudged at the shop’s door. It swung open with very little resistance and, relieved, I slunk inside.
I had never been into Jo’s shop before. I was struck by its musty smell and the fact that, although it was similar in size to the caf?, the piles of stock that cluttered every surface made it feel smaller. I took a few tentative steps on the faded linoleum, past the serving counter on my right, where Jo was on the phone, complaining about an unpaid invoice. I could hear Bernard’s snuffly snores as he slept by her feet. I padded slowly up the central aisle, past shelves lined with cardboard boxes full of screws and hooks. At the back of the shop, next to a wire rack full of tea towels and dusters, I sensedmovement and spun round to find myself almost nose-to-nose with Purdy.
‘What are you doing in here?’ Purdy asked, her tone faintly accusatory.
‘I thought I saw a cat through the window,’ I said, somewhat pointlessly.
At that moment, the door swung open and a man leant in.‘Got any WD-40?’ he said gruffly. Jo nodded and gestured towards the back of the shop. The man began to head in our direction, his face set in a stern grimace. Purdy and I instinctively darted away from him, dashing down the outer aisle and through the door, before it could swing shut.
In the parade, spots of rain had started to fall, adding to the urgency with which people strode past us. I stood facing Purdy on the cobbles outside Jo’s shop.
‘Do you come here a lot?’ I asked.
‘A fair bit. Why?’
For some reason I couldn’t quite articulate, it stung to think of Purdy spending time in the hardware shop rather than at home. But there was something about her manner that made me want to proceed warily; she seemed to be avoiding my gaze, and her face wore a mask of impatient defiance.
‘I know it’s been difficult lately, with Ming, and Linda and Beau,’ I prompted, feeling that she needed encouragement.
‘It’s got nothing to do with them,’ Purdy replied evasively. ‘This is just somewhere I can come to get away from … things.’
‘Oh?’ I said and, in the silence that fell between us, I felt the first tremors of misgiving in my stomach.
Her alert green eyes held mine for a moment and then she said,‘I just don’t really like being in the caf?. I’m not sure I ever have.’
‘I had no idea …’ I replied, stalling for time while I digested her words.
Perhaps Purdy sensed my inner turmoil, because she began to explain.‘I don’t like being on display, with strangers fussing over me all day. It’s not really my thing. And sometimes there are just too many …’ She trailed off, looking at the ground, uncertain whether to continue.
‘Go on,’ I urged.
‘Too many … cats,’ she said, glancing up at my face anxiously.
The rain was falling with increasing force and, all around us, people were shaking open umbrellas and quickening their pace.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said, feeling a sudden surge of remorse. ‘I had no idea you were unhappy.’
‘I’m not unhappy,’ she corrected me, droplets of moisture glistening on her whiskers like crystals. ‘I’m just … not as happy as I could be, I suppose.’
I knew our conversation would soon be curtailed by the weather, but I desperately wanted to say something to show that, although I was saddened by what Purdy had said, I was grateful for her honesty. But, instead, I heard myself say,‘Please, don’t run away.’
The disappointed look in her eyes let me know that I had catastrophically misjudged my response. Purdy had found the courage to tell me how she felt, but rather than listen to her, I had panicked. Instead of reassuring her, I had put my own anxiety first, and sought reassurance from her.
‘Of course I won’t run away,’ she replied breezily. Her tail had started to twitch and she glanced back over her shoulder, making no effort to hide her desire to be on her way.
I opened my mouth, wanting to undo the damage caused by my clunky, ill-chosen comment, but it was too late. A car had passed too close to the kerb, splashing passers-by with murky water; and, in the ensuing commotion, Purdy turned and trotted away. Within seconds she had disappeared over a wall and I was left standing on the cobbles, with cold rain beating down on my back, and Christmas shoppers rushing past me.
27
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I returned to the caf? and, ignoring the customers’ good-natured overtures, headed straight for my window cushion. I turned my back on the room and stared out of the glass, castigating myself for the way I had handled the encounter. In my fretful state, Purdy’s and Ming’s suffering became conflated in my mind.I was convinced I was to blame for both, and that my self-absorption had blinded me to what they had been going through. If life in the caf? had been making Purdy unhappy, then surely, as her mother, I should have noticed? Similarly, as the colony’s matriarch, I should have been less quick to judge Ming’s odd behaviour. With both Purdy and Ming out of the caf?, however, I could do nothing except stare watchfully out over the damp street and wait for their return.
The rest of the day seemed to drag on inexorably, and it was not until after closing time that Debbie finally brought Ming home.
‘I’m back,’ Debbie called, crouching down on the flagstones to unlock the cat carrier.
Ming crept out cautiously, glanced in both directions, sniffed the air uncertainly, then dashed towards the cat tree.
Linda came out of the kitchen with a querying look.
‘We had to go to the animal hospital for tests,’ Debbie explained as she made for the nearest chair and sat down.
‘And?’ Linda asked, pulling off her apron and hanging it on the peg.
‘She’s deaf,’ Debbie replied sadly. ‘Almost certainly since birth. A congenital defect, probably.’
I felt my breath catch in my chest.
‘Poor Ming.’ Linda sighed, pouting with concern.
Looking relieved to be back on her platform, Ming had started to wash, unaffected by the melancholy mood in the room.
‘Do you think it’s okay for her to stay in the caf?? I mean, is it cruel, if she can’t hear anything?’ Linda asked, looking sorrowfully at Ming.
‘It’s something to think about,’ Debbie agreed. ‘Perhaps she would be happier somewhere less … busy.’
Linda walked over to the cat tree and reached out her hand to touch Ming’s back. Startled, Ming turned towards her and, when Linda gently caressed her spine from her shoulders to her tail, blinked in pleasure.
‘You know, if you think it would be for the best, I’d be happy to take Ming with me to Margery’s cottage,’ Linda said diffidently, as the room began to fill with Ming’s rumbling purr. ‘I should be the one to take responsibility for her, since it was me who brought her here in the first place.’
From her chair near the door, Debbie watched her sister closely.‘Thanks, Linda, I’ll bear that in mind,’ she said appreciatively.
Later, when Debbie and Linda had gone upstairs, I stared across the dimly lit caf? at Ming. She lay in a neat circle, the perfect arc of her body disrupted only by the single, angular protuberance of her left ear. I was struck anew by her effortless elegance, and the uncomfortable realization that Ming’s beauty had been a major factor in my distrust of her. The adulationshe had received in the caf? had stoked the flames of my envy, and I had never stopped to consider what coming to the caf? must have felt like for her. She had been an outsider, unexpectedly introduced to a colony of cats in an environment where privacy and solitude had not been an option. Any cat would have struggled in such circumstances, let alone one who couldn’t hear. I felt a wave of pity rise up inside me. I had been determined from the outset to read disdain into Ming’s reserved demeanour. Now I had to accept that, though there had been disdain, it had been on my side, notMing’s.