“Please, do not press me on this matter.”
Tight furrows of frustration cut deep into that dear, craggy face. I traced over them with a finger, trying to smooth them away. When that didn’t work, I drew his head down to me and, stretching up on tippytoes, kissed him.
“Don’t be mad at me,” I whispered against his lips.
He kissed me tenderly back, his voice deep and rough. “I am not mad. Just concerned.”
“I’m safe for now. I promise.” For now being the operative words here. Couldn’t promise about later. Only time would tell.
“Are you happy ruling?” I asked, needing to know.
Amber’s harsh face gentled. “Yes, I enjoy it. I like the challenge, making the decisions, bearing the responsibilities. But I hate being apart from you. You have given me a bittersweet gift, my love.”
“Most things in life are.” I gave him one last kiss. “Go on.” Stepping back away from him, I wrapped my arms around my waist so I would not cling to him, beg him not to go. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Soon,” he promised, and left.
NINE
TO OCCUPY MYSELF, and because I had skirted my duties as Queen long enough, I spent the next five hours with Rosemary, trailing behind her, learning not just her routine but that of the other various staff she introduced me to. We went over the household accounts. Then, even more tediously, and therefore good penance serving, we went over her first love, the kitchen, an empire unto its own.
Rosemary was delighted with my interest, the first time I had shown any, and enthusiastically flooded me with details. As big and as intimidating as her physical self was, inside she was a warm and caring person who ruled over her domain with a blunt tongue and a benevolent iron hand. Belle Vista sparkled under her care, from the spotless mantel in the dining room to the huge chandelier dominating the foyer, all two hundred dangling crystals gleaming with proud and pristine glitter.
“You’ve done a wonderful job, Rosemary. Thank you for stepping in like you did. I wouldn’t have known what to do without you.”
Rosemary waved her hands dismissively. “Mostly a matter of training good staff.”
“And seeing to a thousand details, and making a million important decisions. You’ve made this a wonderful home for us all.”
“Thank you, milady. But you are the heart of it, around which we all gather.”
Her words panged me. Brought tears to my eyes. “Oh, Rosemary. I’ve been a lousy heart.” Sadness and guilt over Amber swamped me—how I kept him apart from me. More guilt over how I had neglected everything and everyone these past several weeks…with not one word of complaint uttered from my people.
“You’ve a grand heart, milady. It is a privilege for me and my children to serve you.”
At the mention of Jamie and Tersa, concern for them snaked into me. I gripped the hands of the woman who had spread her love so generously in a blanket that enveloped not just her own Mixed Blood children but the young Mixed Blood Queen she had taken under her wing as well. She’d been more of a mother to me in the short time I’d known her than my real one would ever be.
“Things are changing, Rosemary. Beyond what I can control.”
“That is the nature of life, ever changing,” Rosemary said with kindly wisdom.
“Where are Jamie and Tersa?”
“I sent Tersa with a couple of girls to help settle Healer Hannah and her family into the house down the road. Jamie is outside working on the lawn.”
“I thought they were studying for their GED.”
“They sat for it last month. The results should be in soon.”
Life had continued on around me, it seemed. I was glad. “And college?”
“They’ve applied to several local ones.”
“What did they list as their previous education?” I asked, curious because there was no formal schooling among the Monère—not enough children for that. Jamie and Tersa had been tutored at High Court by a Learned One in reading, writing, and basic math.
“Home study. ’Twas what your brother, Thaddeus, advised. He and Aquila procured all the records and recommendations needed. Very resourceful, the two of them are,” said the former cook with a twinkle in her eyes.
Thaddeus and Aquila, my unofficial business managers. They were slotted next for a visit. But that was for another night. I’d tortured myself enough already tonight. On to another part of my Queenly duties. A much more fun part.
“The guards will begin their training practice soon. I’d like you, Jamie, and Tersa to come watch it with me.”
“Now why ever would you want us to be doing that?” Rosemary asked, resting her big hands on her ample hips.
“Hannah’s husband is setting up a self-defense school in the local community.”
“Among humans?” she asked, eyebrows rising high on her ruddy face.
“Uh-huh. That’s how they made their living before. Once Nolan gets his school up and running, I’d like Jamie and Tersa to train there with him. You have to see how well Nolan and his sons fight. They’re incredible.”
“Milady, Jamie and Tersa have already been taught some basic knife work by Chami, and a good teacher he’s been to them. But my children are Mixed Bloods. Their strength will never be more than human strong, and my Jamie is never going to be a guard. I do not see the use in more training.”
“Nolan doesn’t just teach self-defense. He also instructs in weapons training. Guns,” I told her. “Guns are a good equalizer for those with lesser strength. I need to know that Jamie and Tersa can protect themselves.”
“Well, why didn’t you say that sooner,” Rosemary said. “Learning how to shoot a gun sounds like a grand idea, milady.”
TEN
EVEN WITH ROSEMARY, Jamie, and Tersa accompanying me, I felt awkward. Like a stranger intruding. It was a feeling that grew even heavier as we made our way onto the practice grounds, the same circle where, once a month when the moon rode full and high in the midnight sky, all my people gathered to Bask.
Men were scattered around, stretching, conversing, sharpening their weapons. I glimpsed Nolan and his sons, and the familiar faces of Dontaine, Chami, Tomas, and Aquila. The rest of them, however, were strangers to me. Their easy chatter died away as the men became aware of us.
What an odd lot we must have looked, a Mixed Blood Queen accompanied by her Mixed Blood waifs. Rosemary was the only Full Blood among us.
“I hope you weren’t waiting for us,” I said as Dontaine came forward to greet us.
“Not at all.” Catching my hand in a courtly gesture, he placed it upon his arm, and led me into the woodland clearing with as much pride and formality as if we were being presented at High Court.
“The men are just warming up,” Dontaine said. “They’re excited, knowing that you would be here tonight, watching them.”
If they were excited, they did not show it. A sea of male faces—there must have been over a hundred of them—turned to us. Hushed silence rang the air. It was as if the silent echoes of an unheard bell had tolled, calling them to attention. As if now that the Queen and her civilian entourage had arrived, all the guards had to watch what they said and did. Gone was the easy camaraderie with which they had spoken and interacted, vanished completely like smoke whisked away by a strong wind.
I swallowed. Gestured toward them. “Continue on, please.”
They simply stared back at me, unmoving. Making me wonder if I shouldn’t have said, “At ease, men,” instead. Maybe they would have understood that better.
“This is Rufus, my drill master,” Dontaine said, stopping before a short, barrel-chested man with hair gone completely gray, denoting his advanced age, over two hundred years old—that was when our hair started to whiten. His was a face I remembered seeing the night they had come to my rescue after I had been captured by Mona Louisa, the former blond bitch ruler here. She hadn’t been too thrilled with me taking over her territory, and had tried to get it back by eliminating me.