He doesn’t say anything, but when I glance over at him, his jaw is set firm and I can see his pulse pumping in his neck. I have no idea what he’s thinking. Crap, I said way too much. I just admitted I've always wanted to fuck him. Great...now he's going to think I'm obsessed with him. Not that that's far from the truth.
I open my mouth to tell him never mind, I’m just going to go home. But instead I start rambling like I always do when I’m nervous. “When you suggested these three lessons, I was so happy, but now I’m feeling sad that it’s over, and I’m sorry because I know you don’t do relationships.”
He exhales slowly, audibly, in the otherwise silent room.
I’m sure he’s about to shoot me down, tell me all the reasons why we can’t be together. My brother would never allow it, or I’m too young for him, or he might just agree with me that he’s not looking for a relationship.
But instead of doing any of that, he rises to his feet and begins pacing across his bedroom.
Then he stops abruptly and looks down, seeming to realize that he’s still naked.
He grabs his boxer briefs and puts them on. “This is too important of a conversation to have naked.” He smirks at me.
“S-should I get dressed?” I ask.
Shaking his head, he steps close. “No, you’re perfect the way you are.”
He stands directly in front of me and lifts my chin, holding my cheek in his large palm while his thumb skims along my skin. I take a deep breath, preparing myself for the sting of his words. I’m sure he'll try to let me down easy, but it still feels …
“You’re right. I don’t do relationships. I’ve never found the appeal. But these past few nights with you have been incredible. So even though I don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to relationships...I’ve always wanted you too. And now that we’ve started this, the last thing I want to do is stop.”
I blink my eyes, sure I just imagined what I heard. “What are you saying?” A few hopeful butterflies are already waking up in my stomach.
“I'm saying, let’s do this. We owe it to ourselves to at least try and see where this goes. We have a great time together. In bed and out of it. And I’m sure as fuck not ready to let you walk away and date one of these dickheads from that website.”
I giggle, delirious happiness bubbling up inside me. Until my thoughts drift to my brother. “What about Hayden?” I frown, chewing on my lip.
“You let me deal with that.”
Somehow the knot of worry in my stomach eases. I have no idea what will happen next, but I trust Hudson. I always have. And if he says he can take care of it—take care of me—then I believe him.
I fall into his arms and we share sweet, tender kisses and even sweeter words. My thoughts still darken whenever I think about what my brother’s reaction to all of this will be. But Hudson is here for me. Whatever the future holds, he's on my side.
“You want to try Sebastian’s again?” Hudson asks, placing a kiss on my forehead.
I chuckle. “I’m not ten anymore … we don’t have to go for ice cream.”
“I know. But our last date got cut short. And I want to take you out...in public. With me. Hold your hand and feed you bites of dessert.”
“What if we see Hayden again? Are you going to disappear on me?” There’s a worried note to my voice, no matter how cool I’m trying to play this new relationship thing we’re navigating.
He sits up, pulling me up with him. “I’m not going anywhere.”
If Hayden saw us out together, reeking of sex, he’d punch Hudson in the face. Not that Hudson couldn’t defend himself, but still, it’s not a scenario I care to dwell on. But I see in his expression that Hudson’s set on this idea. Maybe he just wants a do-over, to paint some good memories over the awkward one from a few days ago.
“Can I borrow a T-shirt?” I ask.
“Of course you can.”
Thirty minutes later, we’re once again standing in line for ice cream cones. But the atmosphere couldn't be more different than last time. Hudson holds my hand the entire time we’re in line, and when he leans down to place soft kisses against the back of my neck, murmuring that he loves seeing me in his T-shirt, I almost melt into a puddle. Our date is happy instead of bittersweet, openly affectionate instead of secretive. The future is all spread out for us to choose from, like the ice cream flavors in their big inviting tubs, every option bright and sweet. Everything this transition means—leaving the bedroom and acting like a couple in public—is nothing short of a dream come true.
Epilogue
Hudson
One Year Later
“Stand still,” Hayden mutters. “Your bow tie is more crooked than a dog's hind leg.”
I laugh, jostling his hands even more. “And you're picking up some seriously hokey shit from Emery's mom.”
He grins. “What can I say? Her Midwest-isms are catchy.” He finishes adjusting my tie and slaps me on the shoulder. “I still can't believe you're getting married, dude. And before me, too. How the fuck did that happen?”
I know what he means. If someone had told me last year that I'd find a girlfriend by now—let alone a wife—I would have laughed in their face. And then probably punched them. I didn't understand why or how a man could tie himself down like that.
But Gracie showed me that a good relationship doesn't tie you down. It sets you free. It means that you'll always have someone there to support you. It gives you a space to be yourself without being alone. To try new things together and fuck up and laugh about it and try again.
Ever since we were kids, I'd always had feelings for Gracie. But I didn't understand just how deep they ran. And when I started to realize it, I instinctively fought the idea. Love was a drug, a trap, a trick that only other people fell for. My being in love with Gracie would change everything. I'd have to give up my playboy lifestyle, Hayden wouldn't trust me anymore, and Gracie's heart would probably end up broken.
But it was already too late. From the moment we first kissed, her tongue eagerly stroking mine in that crowded nightclub hallway, I had started changing...for the better.
Then, on the night of our last lesson, I couldn't deny the truth any longer. Seeing Gracie cry over me had felt like a gut-punch. I know you don't do relationships, she said, and instead of nodding along, I realized something: I genuinely wanted one. I wanted to try. I wanted to learn. So I let her know that it was her turn to become my teacher. And she did. She showed me how to love—in her own way, full of laughter, passion, and heat. I never knew something could feel so all encompassing. She was my first thought when I woke up and the last thing on my mind when I drifted off to sleep. It was her name on my lips when we made love, her very being imprinted on my heart. It was love with no guardrails, and I fell hard and deep for her.
Now I'm standing in a cramped church dressing room, wearing a tuxedo, ready to make an honest woman out of her. With my closest friend by my side.
That last part still feels crazy to me sometimes, even though it's been almost a year since I manned up and came clean with Hayden. I told him I wanted to date his kid sister—real, serious dates, not just hands-on sex ed. That dinner was one of the most awkward things I've ever sat through. But somehow, instead of the train wreck I'd expected, it was only a minor speed bump in our friendship. And two hours after I proposed to her, Hayden had called me to demand why I hadn't asked him to be my best man yet.
Maybe it worked out because he saw how crazy I am about Gracie. My feelings were so obvious that Hayden knew deep down, that I could never hurt her. He saw it in my eyes and he heard it in my voice, so rather than punch me in the face, like I was expecting, he sat there and listened to my every word.