An agonized growl rumbled up from Evan’s chest. “I’m so sorry.”
“And now…” If Evan was telling the truth, he might have been justified in causing the explosion. She knew how much sway an Alpha held over their pack. How much the leader’s attitude set the tone for how the rest of the members behaved. The hurt and fury she carried inside remained. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Amy.” He touched her carefully, his fingers sliding over hers. “Your brother was my friend, and his death was an accident. There’s more I need to tell you, but we’re too raw. Too tight from the shock of finding each other, and the mating urge, and everything else we’re facing.”
The point of contact between them was like a livewire. Sparking hot, a steady pulse with a pounding rhythm, but even that wasn’t enough to cut through her misery. “I feel cold. In spite of the mating attraction, I’m frozen.”
“I understand.”
“Do you?”
Evan’s grip tightened on her fingers. “I’m ripped up inside as well. My wolf wants to claim you, but my human side tells me to back the fuck up and give you space. I can feel your agony, and your anger, and both are tearing me apart.”
“I’ve spent years hating you, Evan. Years.” Her claws itched to escape so she could slash out at him. “How do I let go of the pain after a short conversation? Even if you were justified in what you did?”
“You can’t. Switching convictions like that would make no sense.” He hooked the nearest kitchen chair with his foot and pulled it over so he didn’t have to release her fingers as he sat. “It’s going to take time. It’s going to take time for trust to develop between us, and we can’t force it to happen. We have to allow it to grow.”
“Damn wolves,” she muttered.
Evan stroked her fingers as he pulled back. “The wolf side is right about so many things. Like choosing mates—knowing who is our best partner.”
Fear shot through her again, more intensely than before. Evan as a mate was impossible, and yet the idea of having a mate made her crazy with longing even while every part of her wanted to deny the hope.
The need to control the new hunger was bigger than her thwarted revenge. This was about keeping her expectations low so she could never again be disappointed.
The situation was so much bigger than she’d expected to have to deal with. Amy cursed herself for already missing the physical contact between them. She scrambled for a temporary solution that would cut the pain. “A run. I need to run, and your wolf could use it as well.”
The tension pouring off him was as powerful as the frustration binding her limbs. The fact she could sense his need so strongly—she wasn’t sure if that pleased her, or just made her angrier.
Evan nodded. “Great idea. You can show me around.” He paused. “Will your pack mind the Takhini Alpha roaming their territory?”
She shook her head. “You’re my guest. No one will bother us.”
It wasn’t her fault he hadn’t caught on to who she was, and after his snippy order back in the forest when he’d cut off her confession, she didn’t feel like enlightening him yet. Maybe she was being stubborn, but in light of everything else she was giving him slack on, letting him stay ignorant for a little longer seemed justified.
But before their time of talking was over, she would have to explain so much more.
Evan took his bag to the second bedroom, barely aware of his surroundings. His hands damn near shook as he stripped off his clothes.
So. The ghosts from Hudson Bay had returned, no longer satisfied to haunt him, but determined to intrude with enough impact to destroy his future like they’d savaged his past.
He hadn’t lied. Philip’s death had been an accident. The only people who were supposed to have died in the explosion had deserved to rot in hell.
But with how delicate Amy’s soul was, Evan was going to tread lightly before telling her the rest. Before having to face his own nightmares all over again.
The only good part was they were moving forward. The potential for them to be together was closer than an hour ago.
“We can shift in the cabin,” Amy informed him, calling through the closed door. “The back door is rigged to allow us to go in and out in our wolves.”
Evan took his time. Folded everything with far more care than he’d usually take back at his place. He was in the middle of warning his wolf to behave when the door cracked open, and Amy stood in the doorway.
“Ready?”
Nudity was commonplace among wolves. Between shifting, and sex being enjoyed for fun far more than even in the human population, Evan had seen his share of skin.
Only this was his mate, and that changed everything. He couldn’t seem to avert his eyes. It proved physically impossible to do anything other than to leisurely admire her, starting at her toes.
The petite package before him was all kinds of perfect. She’d painted her toenails a bright green polish with flecks that sparkled in the sun shining in the window.
Slim but muscular legs—he already knew she had the ability to use them. The bruise on his chest proved that.
Her hips flared nicely, waist curving inward. Smooth brown skin over delicate breasts that were round and firm with dark nipples and…
Evan stabbed his nails into his own thigh to force himself to move past fixating on the woman’s chest. Instead he got as far as the swoop of her throat and the flickering pulse visible there, both erratic and heavy. Mesmerizing. He wanted to touch. To press his lips against her soft skin and soothe away her fears. His body ached with anticipation.
She moved, bending her knees ever so slightly so their eyes met.
“Hey. Time for a run.”
She shifted. That in itself was an act of trust, he realized. To be the one to take her other form first, and let him truly see her.
It was powerful. Humbling.
Oh, she’d been in her wolf form when he chased her, but that had been a different situation altogether. That had been born of impulse and instinct. This? This was about revealing herself.
Her fur was dark and lush. Intelligent eyes stared at him as he squatted, bringing their heads on a level plane. Evan reached out slowly, uncertain how Amy would take his touch.
He wasn’t sure what he would do if she rejected him.
That first touch, the first caress, nearly rocked Evan to the floor. His wolf howled, eager to come out and meet his mate. But first Evan wanted this moment. He smoothed a hand down Amy’s back as he admired her. Thrilled to know that she was there, and his resolve firmed to iron.
They were going to get through this. They would find a way. Somehow he would tear aside the walls that were threatening them. It was what he did. It was who he was.
He shifted right beside her, their bodies so close that not only their fur but the heat of their bodies made contact. Her scent enveloped him. Her presence.
Her power. For a split second Evan wondered…
Amy nudged him in the side then headed for the door. She was only a step away when the heavy wooden planks swung upward, the entire lower half of the door rising skyward on a hinge. Evan was fascinated, but his wolf was far more interested in following Amy as she paced down the stairs and onto a narrow path between two towering spruce.
Evan turned his back on the cabin and followed his mate.
She began by leading him along the winding trail through the trees. He was surprised when they went neither up nor down the mountain, but in a steady line on a vertical plane. He racked his brains to think of the terrain in that area, but it grew harder to use his human reasoning. All the wolf wanted was to run with his mate. Evan acknowledged the beast’s wisdom, put aside his questions, and instead concentrated on keeping up.