“Don’t take too long, dude. The clock is ticking.”
Then the fire alarms went off in the pack house for the fifth time that day, once again showing everything was not right in Evan’s world.
Chapter Seventeen
Shaun left, claiming he had something important to do.
Evan needed to get his head on straight, and sitting in an office was not going to do it. Five minutes later, he was pacing down a trail in Riverside Park, fresh air in his lungs, but his mind still fogged over.
He’d reached the end of his rope. The increasingly bad pack situation. Amy shutting him out of her life.
He hadn’t really needed Shaun to point out something was wrong. Evan knew it far too well, he just didn’t know where to start to make it right. If there were some magical fix, he would have promised to wear pixie wings for the rest of his life in exchange.
Evan settled on a bench near the forest, leaning back and staring into the pale blue sky. He needed to think more about this idea he’d had—the one regarding being unable to move past Philip’s death. Had he made the wrong choice back then? How many times since had he made mistakes and ended up hurting others in the process?
It was one thing to have confidence in himself, and another to be an ignorant fool.
The soft pat of a paw against his knee brought him to attention.
A lone wolf sat beside his feet. An ancient creature, his fur turned silvery-white with age. Even though he was older in years, his power remained. Bold and firm, he was obviously an Alpha.
Evan spoke politely. “Hi. Do I know you?”
The wolf shook his head.
Ah. “You’re one of the Canyon pack, aren’t you?”
Amy had warned him again and again her pack members needed something different than the Takhini bunch. He’d kind of thought she was pushing her point too hard, and too often. It wasn’t as if he didn’t know how to slow down and soothe an upset wolf.
But… Just to be sure, Evan took a really, really cautious approach. Held his questions, and instead, sat motionless.
“Please don’t turn around.”
Evan shot upright, shocked to realize someone had snuck up behind him.
“You’re good. I didn’t even hear you.” Evan didn’t sense any malice in the stranger at his back. “Are you a part of Amy’s pack too?”
“Sam’s pack? Yes. That’s Matthias, our old Alpha. She took over for him last year. It was a good change. We love Matthias, but it was time to let someone else take care of us. He needed to rest.”
Evan dipped his head respectfully. “Matthias.”
The old-timer laid his chin on Evan’s thigh.
“Don’t worry, we’re not here to hurt you.” A new voice, female this time.
“That’s reassuring.” If he’d been impressed with Shaun getting the jump on Amy’s sentries before, he was even more impressed with how sneaky her pack were now. “By the way, I never saw either of you coming. Well done.”
“Warn your Beta if he ever trespasses on Canyon land again, we have a roll of duct tape with his name on it.”
Evan chuckled. They might be quiet, but Canyon still had a lovely wolf sense of retribution. “Are we doing this incognito for a reason?”
“It’s not that we mind you knowing who we are, but our faces and our names are less important than what we came to say. When Sam told us the packs needed to join, we didn’t like the idea. No offense, but most of us don’t like you.”
Evan stroked Matthias’s head respectfully. “I’ve kind of picked up on that. But I really am interested in doing all I can to help you, and to be the kind of Alpha you need.”
“The point is, we don’t need you. We’ve got Sam. She knows what our problems are, and we trust her.”
“But you’ve got me, because we’re a pair. It’s not up for discussion. The packs are joining.”
A low murmur of upset rumbled behind him before a feminine voice scolded him. “That’s why we’re here. You say you and Sam are a pair. If you’re talking about wanting to be our Alpha, you have to show us you know how to care for all the people under your watch. We’ll agree you do a great job with the rowdies. But you’re doing a crappy job with Sam. That doesn’t give us much hope you’ll be good for us.”
Not much he could argue about. “I know.”
His confession seemed to take them by surprise, and he waited for their response. The wind picked up, shaking the leaves. One detached from a branch and floated on the air currents, slowly spinning on its way to the ground.
Evan was spinning on the wind as well. Control out of his grasp.
A hand rested briefly on his shoulder. “Matthias wants to talk to you alone, but before we go, we want you to know we’re willing to settle the issues we have with the Takhini crowd.”
“We just want Sam to be happy. And you too, I guess. You need to be happy as well. Because while you’re not nearly as scary when you’re being Mr. Mopey, those adrenaline junkies from the Takhini Asylum need you to be yourself. They’re running rampant.”
No way Evan could keep a straight face anymore. “Mr. Mopey?”
No one answered.
He peeked over his shoulder, but there was no sign of anyone in the area. “Wow. Very impressive, indeed.”
The weight on his leg lightened as Matthias lifted his chin. Evan faced him, wondering how on earth this was going to work. “You’re not really going to talk to me, are you?”
A wolfie smile greeted him as the old-timer sat up straighter and grinned.
Okay, he’d done some strange things over the years, but waiting for a feral old wolf to “talk” to him ranked right up there at the top.
Why the hell not? Things couldn’t get more fucked up than they currently were.
Like Evan expected, no words were exchanged, but he sat and listened with everything he had. Sensing the things the wolf wanted to share—mostly in bursts of emotion that were strong enough for him to pick up without any pack connection at all. Brief flashes of memory hit him, images and ghosts of scent and sound.
The timing was all wrong, but it was also perfectly right. With urgent issues begging for his attention, Evan calmed his soul, closed his eyes, and allowed the old man to reminisce.
Like an old-fashioned movie reel starting up, snapshots of the wolf’s life emerged, mixed with the steady background beat of emotion.
Anticipation. Youthful vigor and hopeful dreams. Traveling north for the gold rush. Finding a home. A people. Settling into a pack. Day-to-day activities that made Evan smile as the young wolf’s world moved forward, one adventure after another.
Contentment. A long life filled with responsibility he’d met the best he could. Joining the pack for a hunt, fur and fang and limbs in motion under a shining moon. Laughter and teasing. Hard labour followed by times of rest. A life lived to the max.
Joy. The strongest emotion yet. Full and satisfying and oh-so-deep. An image flashed of a pretty redheaded woman, and Evan smiled. It had to be the wolf’s mate who had brought him such delight. Sensual pleasures mixed with more laughter, and for a split second Evan was blindingly jealous.
But then…sorrow. Waves of it. Heartbreaking in its intensity, like drowning in unending tears. Everything was gone. Everyone. Evan gasped at the pain the man shared, wondering that carrying the burden hadn’t killed him outright.
The wolf straightened slowly until he looked directly into Evan’s eyes, paws braced on the park bench. The old-timer moved cautiously but brought his nose against Evan’s for a split second before returning all four paws to the ground. His head and tail held high as he disappeared back into the bush.